(Closed) How do you balance travelling with your friends and your SO?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

That is a lot of traveling if you have to take finances and vacation days into consideration. Your finances are also something you and your future husband will have to share, and that doesn’t sound fair to him. While having girl time is healthy, it is totally normal to want to travel and share those experiences with your new husband too! If your friends value your friendship, you should be able to explain your concerns openly and offer a compromise. I would push the group girls trip you suggested to accomodate more girls with a single trip.

Here is how we do it: My husband often works weekends so I try to schedule any girls trips on a weekend I know he working. I still try to limit these to 2x a year, and they are only for long weekends. I have also learned to say no when my finances don’t allow for something. That was a big one for me!

Post # 3
Member
10460 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I do short, weekend trips with my girlfriends or maybe a week long road trip but longer trips or anything international is something I want to share with my husband as traveling is something we very much enjoy doing together and have limited time and resources to do.

Post # 4
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I went on a Europe trip with a girlfriend just the two of us.  It was something I’d always wanted to do and my husband wasn’t really interested in the countries we wanted to visit, so it worked out.  In addition, I go camping or hiking/backpacking with some girls from college each summer for a week, but a) I’m a teacher so free in the summer and b) it’s relatively inexpensive.

I would not go to Hawaii for ten whole days for a friend’s birthday.  To a nearby winery for the night?  Sure.  And for me, I’d choose either the trip to Europe with the one friend, or the group trip in December …  both aren’t feasible to preserve my vacation days and bank account 🙂

I think asking your SO where s/he really wants to travel with you and have new experiences is important.  If your SO doesn’t care aboout Sonoma, but your friends want to go and you can score a deal and make the scheduing work, why not?

Post # 5
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Since I met my husband, I’ve gone to more trips with my GFs than him that is because he does not like to travel as much as I do. So now that we are married, we agreed that we will be making a list of places we want to travel to together and the other destintations I want to visit but he is not interested, I can visit them with my friends 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I don’t think there’s really a general rule about how much travelling is reasonable; it’s more about your personal schedule and finances—and of course, your friends should respect your limitations.

I’m on an academic schedule, which means my summers are very flexible. I would definitely be willing to go on a weeklong trip with a friend, though in reality I never seem to have much time between family trips and conferences. Meanwhile my husband’s vacation days tend to be the limiting factor for our joint travel, so he would be much less likely to go on a long trip without me.

Post # 7
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
jdun17 :  No to all of those things. 10 day trip for someone else’s birthday – forget it! I just had a single night out for my own 30th. The one who insists she needs to travel with you – that’s very unusual, she sounds clingy. They’re being unreasonable, not you. They’re thinking like 20 year olds, not 30 year olds.

I’ve never expected people to go on trips without their SOs. A weekend getaway – yes, I’m sometimes up for that. Anything more – no. Once you’re married, you’d expect all substantial vacations to be with your husband.

Post # 8
Member
2668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

My Fiance and I have the same group of friends (we were friends before we started dating) and it’s fairly evenly split between males and females, so we all tend to go away together. We did a few week long holidays when we were younger, but with work the most we can get now is a weekend.

We also tend to travel a bit with my sister and her boyfriend. We usually do long weekends with them, but are actually heading off on a 10 day vacation with them this Friday.

My best friend and a few other close friends and I have talked about having a girls weekend sometime in the near future, but there is no way we’d make it any longer than a weekend. My bestie and I are in relationships whilst the other 2 girls are single, but we all have work and pets and other obligations that make longer travel more difficult – and we all understand that. If any of my friends were demanding that I take these long overseas holidays with them without regard for my holiday leave or financial situation, I don’t think they’d be my good friends for much longer.

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