(Closed) How do you call your mother and father in law?

posted 12 years ago in Family
Post # 47
Member
494 posts
Helper bee

I avoid calling them anything.  I feel really rude if I use their first names, and too formal if I call them mr./mrs. soandso.  So, avoid, avoid, avoid.  

Post # 48
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’m with Mr Bee – I strive to avoid calling them anything!  As soon as we got engaged, they immediately told me to call them by their first names, but that’s just too awkward for me.

Odder is that Future Father-In-Law always signs off on the phone (yes, he calls me regularly) with “We love you”.  I don’t even say that to my OWN parents, so I am certainly not saying it to them.  Instead I respond with “Thanks” and quickly hang up which always makes me feel like an ass.  He does not seem to be catching on the way I’d hoped…

Post # 49
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ohh, the awkwardness of this question…

so when I was about 16 or 17, my Future Mother-In-Law said “you should call us by our first names!” instead of Mr./Mrs. R’s parents. That adjustment was a little weird, but not too bad. 

Then Future Sister-In-Law got engaged. Once she got married, Future Mother-In-Law told Future Brother-In-Law “when you get married you are family, so you should call us mom and dad.” well, it was the most awkward transition ever, because the Future In-Laws and Future Brother-In-Law don’t always get along. So he tries really hard to please her, but every time he calls her mom she winces. Like, big time, enough that extended family members across the room noticed on multiple occasions. 

Right around this time, she wrote me a really sweet Christmas card and signed it mom and dad. Since then, everything has been signed that way. It was before we were engaged or anything, but I think it was a natural transition for her. But it’s still not natural for me – there’s something odd about it – so now I have to avoid calling them anything. I use their name if I’m talking other other people or whatever but it’s WEIRD because we’re really close and see them all the time. 

Post # 50
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I’ve been calling them by their first names, and it seems to be working fine for all of us. =) I already have a mom and dad, so I guess I don’t feel like I should be calling them by either of those…

Post # 51
Member
6980 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

hahaha soooo awkward. For FI’s step mom and step dad (both parents are remarried), he calls them by their first names so I do too, and that is fine. For his mom and dad, I just avoid calling them anything. There was one time when I HAD to get his dad’s attention and he wasn’t hearing me so I just yelled “Mike!” and he didn’t say anything about it… so I guess its fine haha. It’d be weird to call him Mr.lastname when I call his wife by her first name, ya know? 

My Fiance has managed to successfully avoid calling my parents anything ever. And I think its for the best haha. he could definitely call my mom by her first name, but I’m honestly not sure about my dad. He’s kind of a stern-ish guy and all of my friends always called my parents pam and mr.lastname lol. 

Post # 52
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I call them by their first names

Post # 53
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I call them by their first names. I wasn’t sure what to call them initially so I addressed them as Mr. or Mrs but they said I could call them by their first names.

Post # 54
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i’ve always called them by their first names

Post # 55
Member
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I call them by their first names. I know that we first started dating his mom would have preferred that I call them Mr. and Mrs. ____ To me that’s just unnecessary, I’m an adult so no thank you. I also think that now that we are engaged his mom would prefer that I call her “mom”, but that’s never gonna happen. I already have a mom and don’t feel comfortable calling his parents Mom and Dad.

Post # 56
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

I’ve always called mine by their first names, we were introduced that way. Actually I originally called them by their anglo versions of their names, which aren’t actually their names, now I use their proper given names. I call them mom and dad to my SO but not to their faces, I’m not there yet!

Post # 57
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I still call Future In-Laws Mr. and Mrs. Lastname, because they’re very conservative/think “young people” should call “elders” by their last names, and they really hate me, so I’m sticking with the formality for now.

My FH calls my parents mom and dad and they love it. 🙂

Post # 58
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

since the moment i met them (we were already engaged, so i knew they would be futute in laws) i’ve called them by their first names.

not sure of your age, but i am 33 and felt secure with them being family – in my family you either have a nickname or you’re called by your first name, there is no mrs this or mr that.

i didnt ask what they prefered (nor did i ask my FH what he prefered) i just did what felt right to me.  they’re not my parents – so i dont need to call them mom and dad.  i will likely start calling them grannie and gramps when we have kids though, as i love calling my family by “other” family’s micknames…  like i call my sister “mom” a lot because she has 3 kids =D

i say do what makes you feel most comfortable – in my opinion – if they’re not comfortable with what you’ve chosen to call them, they will tell your FH and you’ll get wind of it anyway!

Post # 59
Member
6610 posts
Bee Keeper

I started out calling them Mr. and Mrs. but after we got engaged, it was easy to switch to John and Sandy, which is super natural for me now.

I don’t think anyone can really take offense to the use of their first names?

Post # 60
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Same thing, Ive avoided calling them anything. =]

Post # 61
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s pretty easy for me to call his Dad and Stepmom (the closer side of the family) by their first names.  Since they married after my fiance, his brother, and stepbrothers were all out of the house, he calls his stepmom by her first name.  His stepbrothers (who he went to high school with and are close friends) call his Dad by his first name.  So I’m always hearing both referred to that way and it seems pretty normal.

I think he has a bit more trouble figuring out what to call my parents… I don’t notice him addressing them directly much.

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