(Closed) How do you choose?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sherryberry:  Everyone has their own way to do it. I considered who I felt would support me throughout our marriage, not just on the big day, who are the girls (or guys) that I could call at 3am for anything, and who was special to me like a sibling. My husband is an only child, so I didn’t have to consider this, but also consider anyone who may be a ‘should be included’ person, like a sibling or someone of that nature, if you’re having your family in the wedding party.

It’s really up to the couple. Talk with your SO first about who, how many, and why (for fun? for support throughout the marriage? for religious support? any ‘should haves’? do we need even numbers?). Then go from there. 

Post # 4
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I knew I wanted to have a small bridal party and include my FI’s two sisters.  So I picked them as bridesmaids and asked my college best friend to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.  One of FI’s sisters has an adorable little daughter who is going to be our flowergirl.  I thought 3 attendants and my niece was plenty.  

Fiance, on the other hand, wanted to ask his sisters’ husbands, my brother, and a couple of his friends so we have uneven sides.  His bestman and another groomsmen are long time friends.  I think he would have had 10 groomsmen if it wouldn’t have been a complete logistical nightmare (none of our bridal party or his longtime friends live in the city where our wedding is).  He’s the type of person who collects friends the way I collect shoes, so he wanted to include everyone, but he realized he had to draw the line somewhere.

PP has great suggestions.  For us it was all about including our families and a few close friends that we knew would support us not only on our wedding day but throughout our entire marriage.  We didn’t care about having even sides.

Post # 6
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@sherryberry:  Ultimately, I think it’s whatever number you feel comfortable with! If these people mean enough to you, then have them as bridesmaids!!

I had a bit of trouble when choosing; my sister, naturally, was a bridesmaid, then my best friend of the past 10 years, then my closest male friend agreed to be a bridesmaid. My Fiance has four groomsmen, so I wanted to even things up (especially having a male bridesmaid too), so I had a struggle picking a fourth. In the end I went for my sister in law. I figured that I’m close to her and she’s going to be a part of my life for a long while yet (I hope!), and she’s a solid, dependable person that I know I can rely on if anything comes up

Post # 7
227 posts
Helper bee

Over the course of time that I’ve been with my boo, we’ve gone through several drafts of “who would be in our wedding party?” conversations. Some people who seemed like definites two years ago, I hardly even talk to on a regular basis now. They are still super dear friends, but the people I know that will be in my life and have been in my life for the long haul are mostly family: two cousins and my sister-in-law. My BFF will be my maid of honor. Oh, and I have two older brothers who are identical twins and we couldn’t decide what to do with them and whose side they should go on, so we’ve made them their own role of “Best Twins of Honor.” 😛 One will stand on each of our sides. 

Post # 8
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

When my best friend got married two years ago, and the advice she gave me when I was choosing was to pick women that if something bad happened and I called them, they would each be on the next flight to see me.  There are plenty of girls who would be there for me, but there are only a few who I would feel comfortable calling in the middle of the night and I know they would get up and go to the airport immediately, so those are the ladies I chose 🙂

Post # 9
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@sherryberry:  It is tricky sometimes!  I think your idea about the four sounds great, and I don’t think it’s too much for a smaller wedding.  If those four girls are your nearest and dearest, then go for it!

Post # 10
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I wanted only the nearest and dearest. Size did not matter. We each have 2 best friends and 1 sibling so it worked out.

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