Post # 1
My husband and I plan to co-sleep with our daughter(bed sharing), but I am interested in getting feedback on what is working for other moms. Are the co-sleepers that you place between you and your spouse necessary, or do you just lay the baby in bed with you with no barrier?
Post # 3
In the beginning we did a combo of co-sleeping & co-bedding. P would start out in the RnP, PnP, or crib (she moved up as she got bigger) and then after her first waking she would come to bed with us. Our bed was taken off the frame & put directly on the ground pushed up against the wall… she would sleep primarily between me & the wall since Darling Husband really wasn’t all that used to her being there yet.
Now we have her crib set up as a sidecar (did it at 11 months). P goes to bed before us, usually in her space & then she’ll move to nurse throughout the night. Sometimes she rolls back to her bed, sometimes she stays near me, & sometimes she ends up between Darling Husband & I.
I’m not sure what the plan is for this next lo since P will still be in our room… maybe a mini crib on the other side of the bed, P on DH’s side & the newbie on mine? Idk yet… we’ll definitely utilize a setup like this from birth next time though. I love it so much & I get much better sleep not having to actually get up out of bed!
Post # 4
Dirty Delete was just in the bed with me! No co-sleeper necessary. She loved to snuggle at night and still does. It was a wonderful experience and I encourage you in your endeavors. 🙂
Post # 5
Was way to scared to have dd in bed with us after a horrible tragedy with someone fi grew up. So we put her crib into our room for the first few months eventually moved her into her nursery.
Post # 6
With our 1st, we shared a room so we had him in a bassinet beside out bed but I also brought him in bed with me to nurse and he would sleep there until morning in between dh and I. Once he got a little older, we did a similar set up to runsyellowlites. We had his crib set up with one bar off and pushed up to our bed like a co-sleeper and that worked until we moved and he got hiw own room. Now I don’t actually sleep with my kids in the bed with us unless they are unusually fussy or I am dead tired. I like the bassinet next to my bed so they can nurse in my bed with me but then I put them back in their bassinet when finished.
Post # 7
I bought a co-sleeping nest so we wouldn’t accidentally roll onto the baby. I ended up not using it and not co-sleeping at all, but I had planned to for at least the first little bit so night nursing would be easier.
Post # 8
I work for a large law enforcement agency.. And we get too many 911 calls about babies dying via cosleeping (bed sharing) so we won’t be sharing a bed! Not to stir up trouble, just throwing that out there!
So I plan on having her crib right next to my bed for the first couple months.
Post # 9
I don’t want kids in my bed forever so we will not be bed sharing. My nephew never learned how to put himself to sleep alone because they co slept and he’s an absolute nightmare about bed time now. Not to mention I don’t think bed sharing is safe at all and would never risk that harm to my baby.
Post # 10
Co sleeping should be done with a sidecar crib or a moses basket. Having the baby sleep in the actual bed with you is a big SIDS risk. I plan to use either a bassinet or a sidecar mini crib for the first 8-10 weeks and then move the baby to the crib.
Post # 11
We had little boy’s cradle in our room for a month after we got home, after that the cradle went into his room and just had a baby monitor. I didn’t feel comfortable co sleeping in the same bed. As PP mentioned it is now shown that co sleeping without a sidecar bed is actually showing more of a risk of SIDS.
Post # 12
@michiru4ever: I would feel more comfortable bed-sharing than using a moses basket, in terms of SIDS risks. http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/bassinets/buying-guide.htm?pn=3
Post # 13
I appreciate the feedback from concerned moms, but I have done my fair amount of research and know the risks involved with all options. I am just seeking feedback from moms that DO co-sleep/bed-share.
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Bedsharing is generally not advised because of the risk of you rolling over and sleeping on the child preventing them from being able to breathe. However, in my experience it’s usually not an issue unless you sleep exceptionally hard, take sleeping pills, or the parents are going to bed drunk or high. And when and if it happens, DCF will likely take your other children away from you while they investigate the death of the child to verify that it was in fact co-sleeping and you weren’t drunk or high when it happened. (Probably why most of the cases I see involve parents who are passed out from drugs or alcohol.)
I plan to use a co-sleeper attached to the side of the bed. But they can also be dangerous because the baby can get stuck in a space which can develop between the sleeper and the bed. So you have to check the attachment regularly and ensure there isn’t a space developing. If you are going to bedshare, it’s adviseable to use a snuggle nest or sleeper so the baby has a defined area in the bed.
Post # 15
Idk if you’ve seen this but I think it is a great write up on co-sleeping, the safety measures to takes, & it’s overall safety in general. 🙂
ETA: Generally the risk & outcomes compare similarly to planned homebirths vs. not planned. When you combine the two you find that “homebirths” are not “safe” but when you adjust for certain risk factors then you find very different results.
Same with co-bedding… often un-planned co-bedding (often done out of sheer exhaustion with parents who have not taken safety precautions or are aware of a sleeping baby in the bed) is combined with planned & that will skew the results. (also when it comes to co-bedding studies will combine SIDS cases with suffocation cases labeling them all as SIDS which in turn says SIDS is increased with co-bedding when that isn’t accurate).
When you look at planned co-bedding, especially in the case of the breastfeeding mother (like many other cultures) you not only find it safer than a baby sleeping on their own but you have a dramatic decrease in SIDS. 😉
Post # 16
@michiru4ever: SIDS and suffocation are not the same thing. Babies that die from co-sleeping typically die from suffocation, not SIDS.
Similarly, co-sleeping and bedsharing are two VERY different things. Most people think co-sleeping = bedsharing. Co-sleeping is in the same room (not bed).
I was always terrified of bedsharing when my Dirty Delete was tiny. Luckily she slept very happily in her crib..and we only co-slept (crib in our room for about 2 weeks) around 10 months or so, we went through a short stint of her sleeping in bed with us and it was awful. I want to cry just thinking about it.. lol
I personally don’t think it’s a good idea for babies to sleep right in bed with their parents, but having a side-car like setup is actually beneficial. SIDS risk actually goes down with co-sleeping (not bedsharing!)