(Closed) How do you control jealousy?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I used to be a very jealous person like you too. I think I managed to handle it by just completely stopping the comparison, because I realized that there’s ALWAYS going to be someone better, there’s ALWAYS going to be someone who gets what they want when I don’t, and it’s just a miserable way to live being unhappy all the time.

I started to think about what I DO have that others don’t. Made me a heck of a lot more grateful for the things I have too – I have a loving husband where others sometimes don’t, I have a job where others are struggling, I have two sets of parents who would always be supportive of me where others don’t etc. I just internalized my view towards myself, and instead of comparing who has what better, comparing what I have better than others (but obviously not rubbing it in their faces because that’s just spiteful)

I could totally go the other way and be unhappy – I don’t have a rich husband like others do … I don’t have a big job with Google like others do … I don’t have parents who keep their noses out of my business because they respect me like others do. See what I mean? 

Post # 4
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

confidence!   Spend some time listing and noticing what you DO have!!!

Post # 5
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I remember that nobody really has the “perfect” life.

Post # 7
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

It’s easy to see other people’s lives and think they ‘have it all’.  But, the reality is – most people, if not everyone, have their own set of issues and demons.

It reminds me of a situation with two good friends of mind.  One threw a fun party for her daughter’s 1st b’day.  They looked, on the outside, to the PERFECT upper-middle class family.  Attractive, all-smiles, perfect party, etc.  My other friend was commenting on how PERFECT they looked, and I knew there was a tinge of jealousy (why do they get to have THAT life, that money, etc).  But, the reality was – my ‘perfect’ friend was miserable.  While she had a darling  daughter, she had a controlling (but perfect seeming on the outside) husband.  She was in tears most days of the year.  While, my other friend, while she may be a working mom, and struggling financially, had a relationship with her husband this other friend would DIE for.

I guess my whole point in this is:  the grass may seem greener on the other side… but it’s not necessarily the case.  Focus on what you DO have, the people and blessings in your life, without wishing for what other people have…. that’s the ‘magic’ of being grateful for your life and making the most of what you have!

Post # 8
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’ve struggled a lot with jealousy too, especially when it comes to money. But as I get older I’ve come to realize that more money just means more problems. And the amount you have in your bank account doesn’t determine who is a better person or ‘better’ at life. And now in a lot of ways I’m kind of thankful we aren’t rich because it’s taught us to do a lot more with less and really appreciate with we DO have. Plus when you’re poor there are so many more ‘perks’ since any little extra suddenly means so much!

Plus, it’s easy to think the grass is greener, but in reality it rarely is. You never know who’s jealous of YOU, wishing they had what you have!

Post # 9
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Very timely post for me! It’s Mr. PS’s birthday today and I just clicked onto his Facebook page to leave him a little “Happy birthday darling, I love you!” post. Ridiculous really, since I wished him a happy birthday first thing this morning. (In bed, when he woke up. Next to me.) The latest message was from a girl he was dating before he and I ever met. I honestly think it’s a testament to how awesome Mr. PS actually is that he ends relationships gracefully and his exes think well enough of him to *want* to remain friends. Nevertheless, the next thing I know I’m seeing green and feeling like crap since she’s gorgeous and thinner than me and for the love of all that’s holy, I’m being THAT GIRL who gets upset over something on Facebook?! Long story short, I called Mr. PS, ‘fessed up, laughed at myself and felt a lot better. I’m not proud of my jealousies and insecurites but I know that talking about it and acknowledging the bad feelings really does help.

Post # 10
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I stopped moping about what I didn’t like/have and started working on changing what I could change.


This didn’t happen until after a friend of mine put me in my place and called me out for complaining and doing nothing to change the situation.

Post # 11
118 posts
Blushing bee

Moderndaisy makes a great point. You never know who may be envious of you! I have felt inferior to so many people in my life. It’s hard not to feel jealous sometimes and then I feel guilty for feeling jealous. A good friend of mine just landed an amazing job that makes about twice as much as I do. I am happy for her, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t also a bit jealous. This is mainly because we have very similar backgrounds but she was fortunate to land this amazing job opportunity. I feel terrible for being jealous, too.

Post # 12
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i have never been a jealous person when it comes to materialistic things or other people’s lifestyle or family. my mother taught me a good lesson when i was very young.

i went to a friend’s house for her bday party and i came home telling my mom all about how big and beautiful their home was with the pool in the back yard, etc, etc.  my mother told me that you never know what it’s like behind closed doors; are they really happy?, are they swimming in debt?, is he abusive or having an affair?  you get the point.  she also told me that there is no reason why i can’t achieve all of what i want when i get older. 

i control my own life and if i want something then i focus to get it. i truly am goal oriented.

as for being jealous about someone’s husband, imo, if you are not satisfied with your own husband, then you’re with the wrong man.


Post # 13
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I used to be a jealous person when I was younger but I have learned to throw that out the window now.

Be happy for what you Do have and things will be better for you in the long run and you will eventaully get the things you have always wanted 🙂


Post # 14
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

People always envy that which they don’t have. Just be happy with what you have. 

Post # 15
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ha! I got rid of Facebook and started focusing on ME. 🙂

Post # 16
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

@mypinkshoes:    my mother told me that you never know what it’s like behind closed doors;

You stole my line!!!!! LOL

This is one big reason why I am not a jealous person…. 

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