How do you cope//family not excited for you and taking $$$ away from you?

posted 3 months ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

carmensandiego38 :  personally I would just give my mom half of what was owed and tell her to take you to court. She gifted it to you and its all in her name and its not fair that you have to now pay her back because she’s being an a%%hole/changed her mind.  f8ck that. 

Post # 18
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

carmensandiego38 :  surprised Holy sh*t. Yeah, much higher preference on a good marriage!

Post # 19
Member
559 posts
Busy bee

avprobeauty :  +1 

It’s unconscionable to gift someone college tutition and then take back your gift and make them pay you instead. I could see asking for some help in return if one falls in financial hard times but forcing someone to pay you back a gift is just wrong. 

OP, it sounds like a lot of people in your life do have a lot going on (MIL, cousins, etc). But I can understand feeling like you want as many people as possible to share your joy. I would suggest getting your girlfriends together for something like manicures and some quality time. Even if it’s just one friend or a cousin you haven’t seen in awhile. 

Post # 20
Member
476 posts
Helper bee

New baby – more important than your wedding

Chemo – more important than your wedding

Financial problems – more important than your wedding

That text with your friend, she asked you how you were and you responded that you were busy. You did not ask how she was. I wouldn’t write back to that either

Nobody cares as much about your wedding as you do. I’m sorry that people aren’t jumping for joy to watch you try on dresses or offering you money to pay for your party, but your wedding is likely one of several they are attending this year. 

Post # 21
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Sorry no one seems to be supportive or joyful for you. That sucks and I’ve been there too. But you gotta make you happy and someone is defiantly happy to have you in their life and that is your amazing future husband! Focus on that and enjoy your time together. Congrats bee and goodluck! 😊

Post # 23
Member
510 posts
Busy bee

First off! Congratulations! Yay! 

Secondly, stop paying your parents! It was a gift so pretend it as so and if she wants more $ she can take you to court. 

Post # 24
Member
2438 posts
Buzzing bee

I do chemo and there are LOT of things I would like to do but can’t. So cut her some slack

Post # 25
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

lavieenviolette :  no kidding but its her mom so I can see where she’s in a tough spot. I reasoned with half. We don’t know all the details, but yeah….definitely not cool on her moms part. 

Post # 26
Member
967 posts
Busy bee

No one cares as much about your wedding as you. There was a poll here recently about the best wedding food and EVERYONE said their wedding had the best food. HA!

Most people are invited to dozens of weddings every year. Obviously family should be prioritized but a lot of people see weddings as inconvenient, pricey events. FOcus on being your own support system and you will be happier in the long run. BUt also, don’t hold grudges. Assume everyone around you is doing as much as they can. They have their own lives and problems. 

Post # 27
Member
8435 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

arosebyanyothername :  Don’t want to threadjack but just wanted to say chin up and all the best with your treatments. Cancer sucks big balls!

Post # 28
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’m perplexed on the “gift” of tuition. Did your mom pay your tuition or did she take out loans on your behalf that need to be paid back? If there are loans, then I think it’s crappy of you to not gladly pay them. You’d actually stick your mom with debt when the loans were the only way to fund your education? She didn’t walk away with a degree, you did.

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