(Closed) How do you de-stress/not burn out?

posted 3 years ago in Wellness
Post # 2
Member
650 posts
Busy bee

I notice if I don’t schedule “fun” I just end up on the couch watching netflix and going to bed, which somehow makes me more exhausted. 

So I make sure to schedule a great yoga or dance class about 3-5x a week (I go to a studio where they charge you $5 if you don’t show for a class you’ve signed up for in advance, so it’s an incentive to get my booty there on days when I’d rather lie in bed). I also make sure and schedule at least one ‘friends’ night and one ‘date’ night a week. 

It’s much less intense than “hey babe, are you up for our PLANNED NIGHT OF ROMANCE!?” but I do make sure that we do something that’s just ‘us’ (making dinner together, going to the park, catching a movie). Then I try to do another something fun with my family or with friends at least once a week as well. 

I’ve realized I’m pretty lazy if left to my own devices, but if I have a ton to do I’ll just keep the ball rolling. I do try to ‘plan’ as much as I can in advance, so I don’t just hang around all day if I have time off.

I only work the one job now, but when I was in grad school and juggling a waitressing gig, tutoring, and an internship at a museum, I really thrived with the busy schedule since there was always something I had to do. That gave me more incentive to make time for the things I wanted to do. 

Post # 3
Member
678 posts
Busy bee

It’s not humanly possible to continue doing what you are doing for long. You will burn out and/or harm your health. Take it from me, true burnout takes a long time to recover from. You could elope, save the money that would’ve been used for the wedding, and quit your second job. You should be able to live on a teacher’s salary. How do you have time to go to class if you work every day? Your life sounds like a nightmare. 

Post # 4
Member
4402 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I avoid burn out by not working 7 days a week… 

How long do you have to operate on this schedule for? I can understand doing that if I had an end date in mind and I was trying to acheive some kind of financial goal. But to be doing that forever? You’re going to give yourself a heart attack. 

Post # 5
Member
1339 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Hagakyrkan

View original reply
happy27 : this is my personal list of coping strategies (I’ve been burned out badly twice) 

Therapy if needed

Yoga in the morning or evening

Cuddling or playing with my cats

Talking to my husband, he knows just how to calm me down

Wine with friends

Hugging and sniffing my husband (I know …  but his smell makes me feel so safe) 

A slow walk in the woods

Goding to church (I attend a very traditional Catholic/Orthodox church and all the rituals and singing is very reassuring. Plus it helps me put all aspects of my life in perspective.) 

And now being pregnant just sitting and feeling baby kick 🙂 

Christmas music

Post # 6
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Working full days 7 days a week on top of studying does not sound sustainable to me! Are you doing it for financial reasons?

I don’t really have tips because I think first something needs to be dropped.

Post # 7
Member
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Take time to schedule fun/ a day of every now and then.

Meditate, there’s a great app called headspace for guided mediation. Ten minutes a day and it makes a difference.

Take a bath at the end of the day.

Go get a pedicure, massage or whatever self care activities you find relaxing.

I agree with PP seven days a week of work is just not sustainable in the long run.

Post # 8
Member
2990 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

So for me, I read, play cute video games like Animal Crossing, Fantasy Life, Harvest Moon, etc.; go on nature walks and take pictures, or take a hot bath in a candle-lit room. The key is to get your mind off of your daily struggles. 

At the same time, I think your schedule is unsustainable and something has got to change.

Being a preschool teacher is hard AF! Toddlers are busy little people who love pushing buttons! I worked in retail hell for four of the years I was in school (it took me 8 years to get my BA because I have a learning disability) and that’s hard AF too! Crazy customers! Stupid managers! Good times.

And you’re in school on top of that?! How many units are you taking? I can’t imagine being able to study much when you’re working a bagillion hours on your feet. I worked 30 hours a week max while in school and simplified my lifestyle (had a Nokia dumb phone, no cable, drove a cheap used car, cooked all my food/brewed my own caffeine beverages, got my hair cut for $5 at the local beauty school). Can you cut back to just the toddler wrangling job?

I planned a simple budget no-frills wedding while I was finishing up my AA (9 units, 30 hours of work a week, much more manageable than your schedule). Tips:

People create the most drama so try to limit the number of people involved. Invite only immediate family and any friends who played an active role in you getting together (e.g. DH and I were elaborately set up by my college friends so they had to be there). I had 30 people in all but could have cut the list down to 14 if I needed to. 

Choose the path of least resistance for everything. I chose impossible to screw up colors (black, white, marzipan, and cotton candy pink) so I could mindlessly coordinate BM looks, bouquet flowers, cake, and table centerpieces instead of obsessing over whether or not something would clash. I had my Bridal Party wear their already-owned LBDs so they’d save money and I wouldn’t need to deal with dress drama, and I bought them pink shrugs and necklaces to create a cohesive look. 

Money is the other main source of drama so cut corners. Your guests only care about the food, the booze, the comfort level of the venue, and maybe the music. Make sure the food is filling and tasty and you’ve got a great playlist and you are good to go!

Guests don’t care about your dress, so buy the cheapest one you can live with. They don’t care about your flowers or your decorations or your invites or how pretty your cake is, so keep them simple or skip them altogether. DH and I used candles and rose petal centerpieces and had a super basic but delicious cake. I’ve had friends DiY cute paper flowers for pennies (I’ve got no patience for that myself, though), or use potted orchids or succulents. 

I hope I don’t sound like I’m pontificating too much! Just want to keep you from going crazy. 

Post # 9
Member
567 posts
Busy bee

I don’t even know what to suggest because you don’t even have the time to do anything I may suggest. So my suggestion is that something’s gotta give. Maybe cut your Sunday shift and have that full day to yourself to be able to relax/prepare for the following week etc 

 

Life is too short not to enjoy some of it

Post # 10
Member
4499 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

How can you be a full-time student on top of working 55 hours M – F and 16 – 20 (? I’m guessing) hours on the weekend? When do you take your classes? 

Drop something if you can. This is not healthy.

Post # 11
Member
544 posts
Busy bee

I was in a similar position, I worked 3 PT jobs (48-50 hours a week), went to undergrad FT, and often worked 21+ day stretches without a single day off. I finally got hired FT at a great company and I’m a FT master’s student now, but I have weekends off and time to breathe – but I went the Netflix and couch road for a while, and then I started planning time for friends/outings with Fiance. I recently got promoted to a team lead, so I feel like I’m already reverting to the path to burnout because I carry my work home with me. I need to join our company gym so I can do spin classes and spin my stress away. It’s a vicious cycle. I can’t wait to finish my program in January so that work is my biggest/only burnout stressor. 

Post # 12
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee

Hi, I’m new here but wanted to say that i admire your energy!  I’m older and I honeslty need down time.  As others have said, this seems like an unreasonable schedule.  You are going to burn out if you haven’t already.  Is there something that can be cut at this point?  That’s got to be tough!

Post # 13
Member
678 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
MrsCoffeeSnob :  Are you an online student, or do you attend night classes?

Post # 14
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee

That sounds way too much, do you need the second job? Is there any way you can cut on expenses so you don’t have to work so much? And preschool teaching sounds exhausting btw. Best way for me to de-stress is a nice walk, on lunch breaks if you can take them. 

Post # 15
Member
544 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
catapple :  I’m online and I go year round and get a week off in between terms. our terms are 10 weeks each and I take two courses per term (the maximum) but I don’t want to drag out my program so I kind of did it to myself. Lol. 

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