- 8 years ago
- Wedding: January 2011
This is a topic that has been haunting us since the begning of our relationship. I, personally, have never had good money managing skills. “Shopaholic” is almost a complete parody of my life right now. I’m 26, I work in the accounting department at my co., and I can’t manage my own money. AT ALL. But I’m great at my job. Figure that one out.
My FH has always been VERY good with money. By 23 he owned 2 houses! So I was more than happy to have him help me out with finances. But the housing market collapsed, he lost one house, then we got engaged (love knows no bounds), then we’re saving for a wedding, on a budget for the first time in both of our lives… it’s just been a roller coster if you know what I mean. Our wedding savings is comming along well, and it’s all thanks to our budget.
But I hate that thing! BUDGET. It’s horrible. It’s great, but it’s terrible at the same time. We pool our money together. Which is good and bad. FH makes about 3 times as much as I do, but that never comes up between us (except when I get upset and feel inferior). He spends more daily (still smoking, andd I quit, lots of coffee, etc) than I do, and so when I want to do a little shopping, I feel like it should be ok. We’re both saving as much as possible….
But I HATE that I always have to check with him about EVERY f*ckin penny I spend, I feel completly powerless in this aspect of our relationship. But we have separate and joined accounts, everything is transparent, and it’s never that I can’t have what I need or want, I’m in charge of paying the bills…. Some part of me has that trapped animal feeling though, every once in a while, like yesterday. I completly flipped out on him because he said we should watch our spending on the weekends so I could go shopping. Totally legitimate. But I completly bugged.
We’ve talked about it a million times, neither of us can come up with a better way to organize ourselves. He’s so understanding and compassionate towards my feelings, and tries so hard to make me feel better when I get upset about this. …. I’m just wondering if I’m the only one?
I guess one system can’t work for eveyone, everyone’s situations are different. But I was wondering what are some of the ways you and your hubby// FH/ SO deal with your money?