(Closed) How do you deal with household chores?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m home now so generally I do the brunt of the house cleaning… but he’ll do whatever needs to be done when he’s home generally.

I’ve read that taking the chores and switching off really helped so that noone feels like their always doing the ugh job or doing more..

Post # 4
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i do everything except trash, cardboard/glass/plastic recycling and saltwater aquarium maintanence.

ocassionally he will pitch in and do a load of laundry, clean toilet, empty/load dishwasher, etc.

we live and work from home, so we spend a lot of time in our dwelling! i get up early and tidy up if need be. i’m completey OCD, so i can’t reasonably expect him (or anyone) to adhere to my cleanliness policies, as they are pretty stringent.

we do argue sometimes, but usually only while i’m PMSsing and need something to bitch at him about…hah!

Post # 5
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Honestly, I do most of the routine stuff. We have different “clean” thresholds. And I’m a perfectionist. (He’s really good about doing something if I say it needs to be done and I don’t have time/don’t want to do it. In return, I keep my mouth shut about how he does it.) And he does other stuff around the house that isn’t cleaning; repairs and building stuff and so on. He does cook fairlyy often, which is good, because I hate it. When there’s major cleaning, like before a party, we split it.

Post # 6
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Not crazy at all.  This is an issue for most couples.

I’m unemployed right now, so I do most of the cleaning/cooking, etc.  I have no issue with this, because I have the time.  When I was working, I had crazy hours, so my DH did a lot of the cleaning, with me doing touch ups on the weekends.  

We had a lot of conversations about this because I can be particularly anal about some things; specifically how clean the bathroom is…so that is always my job.  My DH, like a lot of guys, it seems, doesn’t really see dirt, but sees clutter (I’m bad with clutter).  This means that he’s great at tidying up, but will not dust or really do floors.  I get really grossed out by the garbage, compost, and recycling, so that is his job.

The other rule we have is that if there is something that either of us feel that we need in order to do our “jobs” better (ie- cleaning solutions, different type of compost bags, etc) then the person who is responsible for that job gets final say.  This really works for us.  lol  our version of “Right Tool for the Right Job”.

If he’s complaining constantly about how you clean the dishes/cat box, then that should be his responsibility.  That would really annoy me, so I understand you being frustrated. Perhaps you could do the cat box and he does the dishes?  

Post # 7
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We just kind of do what we prefer or what needs to be done.  I like to cook so I cook. When I notice cat hair buildup I pull out the vacuum.  He loads the dishwasher because when I’m done cooking its someone elses turn!  He takes out the trash most of the time. He ended up doing laundry because I have waaaaaaay more clothes than him and he needs the laundry done more often than I do.  I try on 50 outfits before I make a decision each morning.  He can’t stand the clothes everywhere so he tidies the bedroom a lot.  Both of us hate doing the catboxes but when either of us notices it needs to be done, we just do it.  

I know what you mean about him not liking the way you do things.  I don’t really like how DH cleans the kitchen but since I’m not having to do it I walk away and keep my mouth shut!  Every now and then I’ll go behind him and get things he has missed, but I don’t do it in front of him and I don’t say a word.  I just think of all of my clothes that he hangs back up for me each day. : )

Post # 8
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Well, I do just about all the cooking, so he does all the dishes (mostly)– but I do the real kitchen cleaning. He does the bathrooms, and I do the sweeping. He takes out the trash, and I make it (haha). We both clean up after our furchildren, though, I admit, these days, he does more than I. We have a kitchen table that we’ve used for eating twice (the first night we moved in and Thanksgiving), so it ends up being the catch-all place for crap. That’s normally the “but I cleaned it last time!” source. Really, we try to just get everything done, and once a month or so we have a “big cleaning day” together.

Post # 9
Member
5282 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

We split the “everyday” and “weekly” chores – I empty the dishwasher/ drainboard & he takes out the trash – these are our everyday chores.

My weekly chores would be to vacuum, sweep, and mop the hardwood floors & living room area rug and deep clean the kitchen counters, and he does all the lawn work and handles the pool.

The every other 2 week chores would be bathroom, and once a month vacuum the rooms we don’t use often.

– But we recently hired a cleaning women & it has been the best money well spent! Now we just keep up with our everday chores and minimal weekly chores.

What I will say about your situation, is that if he is upset about the litter box & the dishes, then the compromise would be for you to do one & he does one – that way you can work on doing one “better.”

Post # 10
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Right now we do chores on an as-needed basis. We each have different thresholds for when we believe the chores are needed. Unfortunately, neither of us really cares about vacuumming. I usually do it when I find too much long hair on the carpet.

My coworker gave me the best tip for marital bliss – she says wives should make sure they have about twice as many pairs of underwear as their husbands. Then he will do the laundry 🙂 so far, it’s working!

Post # 11
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

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@Mrs.Oat: My coworker gave me the best tip for marital bliss – she says wives should make sure they have about twice as many pairs of underwear as their husbands. Then he will do the laundry 🙂 so far, it’s working!

So funny!

Post # 12
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We split things up.  I do most of the cooking/baking.  Laundry and cleaning around the house.

We both take garbage out, and major cleaning of the house.

He mows the lawn/snow blows the driveway.  He now cleans litter box due to me being pregnant.  Most house hold cleaning right now if do with cleaners he gets to do again with being pregnant. 

We don’t really fight on who does what, only issue right now is me reminding him to clean the litter box. 

Post # 12
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We split pretty evenly, but my husband is just better at keeping up with it than I am so we just generally help each other out. We both cook every night, one of us will do the dishes (try to make it me), and he handles the laundry. One of us will vacuum and one will do the bathroom, etc… just so long as we both feel like we’re contributing it works out fine!

Post # 13
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@runsyellowlites: Yes! I thought it was one of those hilarious things that is just so wise. And they’ve been married over 30 years, so it must be working for them!

Post # 15
Member
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I just had this issue on Monday! Ok so long story short we had a 4th of July shindig. Everyone bought their own meat and I had made the sides. Well we left the food out after everyone ate becuase people were still chowing on chips, pasta salad and whatever else was out there. Well after everyone had left I said you lock up the garage and I’ll get this side of the house (where the kitchen is). So he took it literally and only locked 2 doors then went to bed and wanted me to come in there! I was like ummm helloooo I’m cleaning this mess up and he like passed out becuase he was so sleepy. I was not a happy camper.

And yes, I may have to go out and buy more underwear so he will have to do more : ) Great idea!!

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