Post # 16
He works outside of the house, I work (I use the term loosely!) at home and so I do the chores. I enjoy it this way and so does he. He likes working- I hate working, I love laundry, he hates laundry! Match made in heaven =D
Post # 17
Usually for us it’s whoever is feeling the best does the most work. I get migraines and have had a pretty tough pregnancy (37 weeks now) and he’s getting over a herniated disk. We usually actually argue who’s going to do it b/c we don’t want the other person doing things it and hurting themselves. But I tend to lose b/c I have a baby in my belly.
Post # 18
This is kind of an issue for us too… although we don’t really fight about it all that often. But I do get annoyed a lot (I just try not to let it get to me). Basically, we have a “plan”… but I often feel like my husband is kinda lazy about it and it bothers me.
I do all the grocery shopping/cooking and laundry.
He does the dishes after dinner (loading dishwasher), takes out the trash, and mows the lawn/shovels snow.
We both unload the dishwasher and he’s pretty good about pitching in when it comes time to fold all the laundry I’ve done.
On weekends we clean together and I do the kitchen, and half bath, he does our master bathroom and his “man cave” and whoever gets done first does the great room and vacuums the bedroom.
The problem arises that 1) my husband complains about what he has to do… a lot. Which bothers me because I hate grocery shopping and cooking a lot too… but it needs to be done so I do it. So it bugs me when he says stuff like “ughhhhh trash is full again?!?!?!” or “mowing the lawn SUCKS.” 2) he doesn’t think things need to be done as often as i do. I think the lawn should be mowed every weekend. He thinks more like every 2-3 weeks. I hate how scraggly it looks in between. 3) we have different levels of “clean.” I don’t feel like he cleans the master bath as well as I do… but I also don’t want to do it so I pretty much just keep my mouth shut about it.
I guess the major problem is that I think we BOTH feel like we do too much sometimes (like I feel like I spend way more time on shopping/cooking/laundry) than he does on his daily chores… but he feels like his are “worse” than mine (which I’d agree they are). So then when little unexpected stuff pops up we’re like….. you do it. lol.
But I don’t think its really as bad as I maybe make it sound. Its kind of a source of annoyance and occasional bickering for us but we rarely *fight* about it. One or the other of us (usually me) just gets annoyed and pissy for about an hour then I get over it. 🙂
Post # 20
We alternate for dishes, counters, and taking out the trash. We each do our own laundry, although I’m more likely to do our sheets and towels. We share or alternate grocery shopping, and we share cooking. He takes out the recycling; I clean the litter box. I probably clean the bathroom twice for every one time he cleans it, and he never bothers with vacuuming or dusting, so that falls to me. Altogether I’d say we split it 60/40. When he was unemployed he did more, though.
Post # 21
We tend to alternate who does the bathroom. We both vacuum, but I’m the only one who dusts because Fiance will only dust the TV stand and say he’s all done. Dishes are fairly simple for us because the person who doesn’t cook cleans them. FI decided he would like to the dishes when I cook since I spend so much prep time on dinner. As far as the pets go we tend to each take one for the night. One of us will walk the dog and feed her while the other will scoop kitty litter and feed the cats. We alternate who does that every night. When one of us is dead tired or sick the other picks up the slack and does it all.
Post # 22
Exactly. I guess we both think we’re doing the brunt of the work while the other is lounging around. I end up doing more daily tasks (i.e cooking, grocery shopping) and he ends up doing the more sporadic heavy lifting (i.e moving stuff, yard work).
There seems to be a very clear delineation of girl chores vs. boy chores in his brain that kind of bugs me. Since we both plan on working full-time when/if we have kids I can totally see myself holding the bag on most of the day to day domestic stuff and that’s a little annoying.
Phew, that sounds worse than it really is – we kind of snip and get cranky at each other for a little while and it’s over. But, still annoying nonetheless. Man, I need to start playing Lotto so we can hire a maid!
Post # 23
And actually I wouldn’t mind having 1 day off just to clean all day. In fact, I’m kind of a control freak so I would rather have this becuase that way I’ll know things are right and I can be organized.
Post # 24
we kind of have a 60/40 split depending on the week. i finally started college full-time last year and since i’ve got the summer off – i’m in charge of all the fun stuff: cooking, dishes, laundry, light gardening, vacuuming, and easy home reno stuff like painting etc. while he’s at work. when he’s home he does all the “man” things: garbage, mowing the lawn/yard work, and any heavy lifting or gross stuff. when i go back to school/work he pitches in a lot more doing dishes and making dinner (he’s not allowed to do laundry – i only made that mistake once). i would complain about my 50’s style “oppressed housewife” gig, but i have a ton of free-time and couldn’t be more thankful of having a really good guy that is actually providing me the opportunity to focus on my education! plus, if some chores get neglected, because i’m too busy hanging out at the lake – for example, there’s no issue. neither of us are terribly fussy is what it boils down to, i guess… there are more important things in life to worry about!
Post # 25
yea i worry about this when it comes to kids too because i think the bottom line for us (and a LOT of couples) is that my guy just doesn’t “notice” things. So I feel petty asking him to do simple stuff I could do myself… but then I feel like I’m doing all the simple stuff and it adds up. If I ask him about it though… he’s like “oh I didn’t even see that.” Argh. And I feel it’ll be that way with kids too. Did you not SEE the toys on the ground? Did you not SMELL the baby diaper? Do you not hear that kid crying omg? haha. Thats why (or one of the reasons) I hope to be able to work just part time when/if we have kids. I feel like I’d feel a lot better about doing more of the work if I was working less than he was.
Post # 26
I really like that idea of splitting up the pet chores and I think I just might steal it. He always walks the dog and I always do the cat box. If we switch off maybe we’ll at least be happy with things 50% of the time! 🙂
Post # 27
@PinkPandaBear: While I do the majority of the household chores we do share some of them.
For example whoever makes dinner (usually me) doesn’t do the dishes. He also helps with the tidying up of the bathroom and vaccuming. I refuse to take out the garbage so that is always chore. We typically share laundry and dog duties 50/50.
Post # 28
He does anything to do with the kitchen as well as garbage. I do laundry, dusting, bathroom, vacuuming, floors, etc. I hate cleaning the kitchen and doing dishes (I think I am a bit OCD about it – it totally grosses me out), so I just feel glad that he takes care of that and I’m willing to do anything else!
Post # 29
How do we deal with them? Poorly. Our apartment looks like a freshman dorm room.
Post # 30
This has somehow just clicked from the moment we moved in together:
Bathroom Duty: Him
Dog Feeding/Bathing: Me
Groceries: BOTH, I buy and pushes cart/carries bags
Its a good little system and it seems to be working great! Most of my gfs are jealous 🙂