(Closed) How do you deal with in-laws that hate you?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Well the nice thing is that you live on opposite sides of the country. My advice? Smile, tolerate her and be the bigger person.

 

Let me share my story. It’ll give you a giggle and perhaps make you feel a bit better.

So there’s this thing called WickedFaire. It’s an indoor ren faire they hold every year that has a bit of everything. Ren stuff, cthulu, geek, a little adult table, anime, music, beer, everything. It’s a ton of fun.

So one year it was held in this hotel near me that had an Irish pub inside. I bought a corset. The first corset I have ever owned. The first time I have EVER worn one. I am a LARGE chested girl so I could look down and have a chin rest. So here I am, boobs pushed up for the first time ever in my life and who should walk into the Irish bar and see me? My boyfriend’s super religious Irish Catholic aunt and cousins.

We didn’t talk, but they saw me. So apparently they got curious what was going on, looked up the faire and decided,  based on the ONE adult vendor, that I was at a adult convention.

But wait! It gets worse!

I have some VERY strict facebook settings. Unless you are my friend, you can’t see anything about me. Except apparently I forgot to put that setting on my photoshop album (I used to teach photoshop so I would frequently learn new things with tutorials). There was ONE picture on there where the pose to work with was from above. So a bit of cleavage was showing.

So now not only am I going to porn conventions, I’m also posting indecent pictures of myself online.

 

How did I get over it? Ok, I didn’t really but we have been together for 7 years. Eventually, some other drama came up and they moved on past this and forgot that their nephew/cousin was dating a harlot!

Post # 4
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

You just have to decide that it doesn’t really matter…and it doesn’t, at all….being upset is understandable but Facebook Feuds and passive aggressive mother in laws aside…who cares?  You guys are on the other side of the country, if she’s can’t figure out how to make a plan and get there, that’s her problem…my father in law tried to force hubby and I to invite some extra people to our ceremony, which was VERY small, when we wouldn’t budge, he refused to come….seat stayed empty..it’s the only one in the room, and you can see it in a few pictures…I know he regrets it now, who wouldn’t?  His wife had to attend her only son’s wedding alone, because of him and his weird ideas about who exactly gets to invite someone to a wedding.  But hubby and I didn’t budge, we didn’t let it upset us and five years later I can say proudly that my in laws have learned a lot from our example…a drama free relationship is better!

Post # 7
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ouch.  Be thankful you live on different coasts!  Its a bummer but your Fiance is the one who i going to suffer most from his families behavior.  Just be the bigger person, and eventually they will change or your Fiance wont even want to be around them.

Post # 8
Member
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@vitani88:  Well they ARE Irish Catholic. They drink, feel guilty, go to church and then drink. 🙂 Finding them at the bar wasn’t remotely surprising. Their timing was unfortunate.

Post # 10
Member
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Omg! I wish. I try to wear turtlenecks. For our engagement party though, I wore this cute dress with a proper neckline. Which apparently was literally only held together by a single thread. So yes, my Fiance and his sweet little grandmother are pretty much wrist deep in my chest pinning me together. AHH!

Post # 11
Member
779 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Like Dr. Phil says.. The wife takes care of HER side, the husband takes care of HIS side. You shouldn’t have to do ANYTHING. Your Fiance should be able to handle them. All you need to do is not stir the pot, and you’re innocent of all charges. It’s good your Fiance sticks up for you, but YOU are his family, not them. While they are family, you are his priority. I’m not sayig he’s done a bad job in the past, maybe he’s done an excellent job! But it really isn’t your problem, it’s his, and his side’s problem. Just be the bigger person I guess is what I’m trying to say. They obviously don’t have anything better to do. >.> I feel like it’s very rude to pester and start things with a new member to a family, especially one who’s planning a wedding. So rude!

Post # 12
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

My Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t like me, and I’m polite but distant in dealing with her which works. But my Future Sister-In-Law hates my guts, and I’ve decided that a disgruntled, jealous bridesmaid is not going to be in my wedding. I’m hoping against hope that she doesn’t come to the wedding at all, she won’t be missed.

Post # 13
Member
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

How do I deal with my aweful inlaws? I don’t. Fiance does all the dealing with them. There was a time that they were not in our lives at all, but since the wedding was coming up, we re-introduced them. With the way the wedding planning is going, however, I can’t garuntee that they will be in our lives forever. At least you have the distance. That is the one thing that saved us haha. Good luck.

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