(Closed) How do you deal with office drama? Omg it's like poison!

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
4858 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I judt refuse to engage in it. Do your job, shut down gossips by giving them a deadpan response. Keep at your work and limit information about yourself. 

Post # 3
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

trinibride0417:  This is exactly the reason I left corporate america and started my own company. I had run my own law firm for 10 yrs, but I wanted stability,  steady paycheck, so I joined coporate america.  After 8 yrs,  left corporate america, took my newly aquired skills and started my own company,  happy as a clam.  I work an amazing amount of hours,  but it’s worth it to not have to deal with who said what about who,  who is wearing what,  who put on weight,  who did something. Look at it as a learning experience.  Say nothing,  no matter what,  because it will come back to you.  

Post # 4
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Exact.  Same.  Thing.  Right here. 

I’m dealing with it now and in my office, it’s the “oldies vs. newbies” in every sense of the word – the old ladies who have been here for 10+ years (some nearly 20 years) are just old gossipy hags that won’t lift a finger to help us but in fact do the exact opposite – whisper and bitch about us behind our backs.  One of them actually admitted she was being nasty to me on purpose a couple of years ago when things were really bad.  I obviously have no time for her at all; she’s rotten to the core and I wish she would leave, but I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon.

Shouldn’t the older women who have been in the job longer and are therefore more experienced be more like mentors to the newer ones?  Like would it kill them to be nice and offer a helping hand now and again?  I’ve had to deal with this shit since day 1 and let me tell you, I AM DONE.  I have been to my boss about it again of late and he’s finally listening to me. He’s on my side about the whole thing thank God or I would be outta here.

Apparenly the HR director is going to come down and do some kind of “workshop” with us.  We shall see how that goes…..

I don’t really have any advice, just to keep your head held high and don’t buy into it.  Don’t let them bring you down, either; it’s like a power trip to them.  Just continue to be kind and polite to those who reciprocate it and don’t let them provoke you.  Haters gonna hate!!

Post # 5
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I’m super unphased by this type of nonsense. I’ve had women (not in our company, but one we work with closely) act catty and “try to teach me a lesson” because I’m far less experienced and knowledgable. I just laugh/ shrug it off. I’m new in the position relative to them and we work in a complex industry (I mean I’m in my early 20’s and these ladies have to be in their 40s and 50s, there’s no way I could have their knowledge right off the bat). I grew up in family like this, so I’m pretty used to it and realize getting upset is a waste of time/ emotion. I’m not friends with these ladies and when I don’t deal with them directly, they don’t even cross my mind. 

Do your thing on your own and just roll with the punches. It’s work. Get through it, go home, and don’t let it bother you. 

Post # 6
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I just wanted to share that I work with nothing but men and only a few women. I’m in the same situation. Men are just a caddy as women but thankfully amoungst each other and I just sit back and watch. I have a whole different dynamic with them entirely, the one where they think I’m their admin assistant instead of their fellow engineer. Try your best to stay above it, but I know first hand how poisonous an environment is like that. 

Post # 7
Member
1204 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I agree with PP. It’s not just women. I work on a team of all men and am one of two women. The drama and gossip is surprisingly widespread, with sprinkles here and there of superiority complexes.

I avoid it by plugging in my headphones when they get chatty.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by  lightchaser.
Post # 8
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Welcome to the club. At my place ive had a newbie write a very innappropriate email about me that was eventually printed out and placed on my desk by someone on her team. Yup, in the email she talked about how i’m an attention w**re and how I hav fat legs and I want her man (he works here too, but so does MY SO!!)….mind you shes a 32/33 mother of 3 little kiddos. Yupp….some people are just THAT delusional…. Needless to say she wears cheap leggings every day to work, and we work in a very nice office setting with business casual attire every day. 

Post # 9
Member
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

trinibride0417:  this is seriously any job. I have worked for starbucks, a security company as a dispatcher, in a law office, and now I have been in my current job for 10 years. I’m 31 and the youngest person in my division. IT’S THE SAME THING YOU DESCRIBED. And there’s many more men, they are just as bad! I just come in, do my work, and keep quiet lol. Just like high school, stay under the radar. 

Post # 10
Member
3529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I’d honestly start looking for something else. Good management will weed those people out. The fact they haven’t, says something about the leadership. 

Post # 11
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee

I have never had to deal with this but I would be totally and utterly disengaged if it were me. Then again, I am an introvert and I feel I could literally exist on an island alone. I also realize it’s easier said than done…just uggh….I work with mostly young women but noone is catty here and we have our own space. There are no cliques etc.

Post # 12
Member
2872 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Daily occurence here too. I tend to stick to 2-3 people I can trust and actually like and forget the rest of them. I let them talk, I honestly don’t care anymore. I’m here to work, not be everyone’s best friend.

I will agree though, ear buds are the best thing since sliced bread for when it gets too bad.

Post # 13
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I used to work in an office and I totally get where you’re coming from. The drama was unbelievably insane! I just always refused to be a part of it. I didn’t really let it bother me. I had a few people I talked to, but even those people would talk about others to me. I would just listen and not add anything so that way no one can say that I was causing drama. Honestly I just tuned it all out and focused on my work. I was in the mindset that “im here to work, not to make friends. If I do, great. If not, oh well.” There were some days I would just come in, work for 8 hours without talking to anyone at all (except maybe at lunch, unless I went out for lunch), and then clocked out and went home. Those were probably my favorite days haha.

I do have to admit though that even though I wasn’t involved in it, I loved sitting back and watching when it blew up in most everyone’s faces. Then a majority of the office were called into disciplinary meetings and only me and a few others weren’t, because we refused to engage in it. 

Post # 14
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

So we had our little “workshop” with the HR director yesterday.  We have been asked to do the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test.  Have any of you done it?

I don’t know what this hopes to acheive, apart from perhaps “understanding” each other a bit more based on the different personality types that are bound to come back (because let me tell you, this one woman ISN’T HUMAN).  It might boost morale for a while but I think the novelty will wear off and things will eventually go back to the way they were before.

Sigh.  I love my job, but it’s hard to ignore the few bad apples that make it miserable sometimes!!  Thank God *she* is going to be away for 3 weeks soon!!

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