(Closed) How do you deal with opinions on names?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 17
Member
3696 posts
Sugar bee

“We’re coming up with a short list of favorites, but we’re keeping our options open until the baby is born and we can see what fits him/her. I’ve known a few sets of parents who had a name all picked out, then changed their mind about it when they met the baby. So much for the monogrammed shower gifts! We think it’s wisest to hold off on sharing names.”

Post # 18
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Most of my friends and family that have had children kept the names private until birth.

Honestly, you’ll never make everyone happy and it’s not worth the stress or pressure from family. I would recommend telling them that you will be keeping the baby’s name private until birth and that it is a decision that you and your husband will be making on your own… and of course thank them for their input.

People can’t complain about a baby’s name after it’s born! 

Post # 19
Member
7646 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@bloodgo1:  Some people think its their business not only to name your child but dictate what you will do with him/her and what day he/she will be born on. Having had my fair share of MIl issues, I can say I have been quite relieved that she hasn’t offered up any family names, and the ONLY piece of information we have offered up regarding the baby’s name is that the middle name will be DH’s name, and everyone has to wait until delivery day to find out.

 

Post # 20
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@bloodgo1:  we aren’t sharing the name with anyone. (i’ve shared it here on the bee but that doesn’t really count)

it was my husband’s decision not to share it with anyone because he wanted us to keep something to ourselves. after reading this, i am so glad that we aren’t sharing the names. our “girl” name is actually a combination of 2 family names from his side. our “boy” name is a combination of a biblical name and one family name from my side.

i could see my mom getting a little pushy if she knew that we were choosing 2 family names from his side. people suck.  i’m sorry you’re going through this.

 

Post # 21
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

or even, hey! you can rely on the old tricks of wedding planning. you can just tell her “we will consider it”. and by the time the baby is born, you can name the kid whatever you want and she won’t care because she will be immersed in total baby cuteness.

Post # 22
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We’ve decided not to tell anyone the name we’ve chosen.  I just don’t want feedback. 

Of course, we tell people we aren’t telling, and many of them decide that means we want ideas, but for the most part it shuts up any conversation.  I totally agree with you though – this is our baby and this name is our decision alone.  Luckily our parents have been pretty good about that, although it’s KILLING my mother not to know what his name is.

Since we’ve already announced that it’s a boy, I love still having something to reveal when he’s born.  I think it’s a fun little secret.

Now I just have to keep that secret for 11 more weeks….

Post # 23
Member
11746 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@bloodgo1:  Just say you have a few names but aren’t sharing until baby arrives and you have chosen one.

We don’t actually have any names picked out (due in a month, we need to get on it!) and people think we’re lying when we tell them that. If we did though I still wouldn’t share and would tell them they will find out when baby arrives.

People will still inevitably offer names up. Just smile and say thanks for the suggestions, it’s definitely one to think about.  That’s what I do, it’s much easier that way!

Post # 24
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

Anytime someone asked what we were naming the baby, the answer was always “ehhh we’re not sure yet” even though we had some names picked out.  I learned from my first never ti share names until the baby is born.  So that was what we did with #2 and we had zero problems 🙂

Post # 25
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

i spent the entire day (i’m not even joking) on christmas right after we told my in-laws we were pregnant listening to their name choices for us. i was 7 f-ing weeks. i pretty much wanted to gouge my eardrums out so i didn’t have to listen to it anymore. they found it hilarious and i found it completely tiresome. it’s not the first thing a pregnant woman wants to talk about for 8 hours after sharing the news so early along. my Mother-In-Law also told me that she hates when people don’t share their baby names before the baby comes. great. 

 

i have no advice, but i sympathize. i think the main thing is to just nod and then just name the baby whatever the hell you want. i already told my husband we’re giving his family a list of generic, non-contender names so they can argue over that, meanwhile we’ll already have the baby’s name picked out and it won’t be one of the names in that list.

 

Post # 26
Member
1153 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@bloodgo1:  It’s annoying to me how everyone wants to be a part of mine & DH’s baby naming process. We are her parents and we get to choose her name, period, if i wanted an opinion then i’d ask for it. Anywho, you should tell Mother-In-Law that baby is getting a family name, it will afterall have DH’s last name, right? That counts as a family name doesn’t it? 

Darling Husband & I are not naming our baby until she’s born. Ironically my first name is Elizabeth but I go by my middle name because my mom decided when i was a baby that i didn’t look like an elizabeth. Anywho, early in my pregnancy we did the same thing, “oh we aren’t really talking names yet until we know what we are having,” but in reality i had this great long list of boy names and like 2 girl names, turns out we are having a girl. So once everyone knew it was a girl they’d be like, “hey what do you think about cecilia, aspen, oh don’t name her Amber.” it went on and on. My sister who i shared some of my girl names with early on said you can’t have her first name start with an E because then her initials would be EEE. I was like “last i checked i’m her mom and i get to name her but thanks for your opinion.” 

My official name statement at this point is, “she’ll get a name on her birthday.” 

Oh and i have to say, because it totally made me laugh, we did pick out baby girls middle name, it’s Elizabeth. ha ha ha =) (it’s a generational name in DH’s family passed on from mothers to daughters (so technically SIL is supposed to name her daughter Elizabeth), and a couple of my family members have it as a middle name as well).

Post # 27
Member
9135 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@bloodgo1: 

#1 Don’t tell anyone the name you pick out because someone will hate it and say mean things to try to make you change it to something they like better.

#2 Re-read #1 10 more times!

#3 Smile and nod at name suggestions and then move on to another subject.  If pushed say you have a name in mind but you don’t want to share it in case you change your minds.

#4 Ultimately now that you’re pregnant you are realizing that your choices and personal/private info is up for grabs and commentary and critique from everyone.  You have to figure out a way to tell people to back off and/or shut up in your own way.

Post # 28
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m so sorry =[ we decided to keep our name a secret bc we just didn’t want the opinions. But we Just told people we weren’t comfortable picking a name until after the birth. And that has worked quite well in keeping them off our backs about it lol. I hate that this early on you’re already dealing with such negativity. 

Post # 29
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We’ve been lucky to not have anyone try and push names on us.  We have had both a boy’s and a girl’s name picked out since prior to us starting ttc (4+ years ago now) and are still in love with that.  When we found out we were having a girl, we just simply announced what her name was without giving anyone the idea that it was still under consideration.  If anyone has disliked the name, no one has mentioned it to me (good thing too!  LOL).  *hugs*  Sorry you are dealing with that.  

Post # 30
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Ugh MILs can be such a pain! My Mother-In-Law is pretty intense about the name thing. We are having a boy but have decided to keep the name secret. We are going to call him Rhys and middle name Philip after DHs Dad and DHs middle name. Everytime I see her she asks about the name and has a list that she has been writing for a while now. Her latest suggestion was Octavia….The only other name we loved was Oliver, she kindly told us that name was off limits because her daughter who is not in any kind of relationship and unlikely to have kids anytime soon has already called shots on that name! ugh 

Post # 31
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m glad your Darling Husband stood up to pushy mom.  Not sure why some of the moms take it so personally.  But you get to name your own children.  End of story.

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