How do you deal with other girls flirting with your man?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t know why women do this.  Why try to get a guy that is clearly taken. There are plenty of great guys out there.  

Personally, i’m not bothered when random girls flirt with Darling Husband if they don’t know him. However there are a few women that constantly flirt with him and yes, it irritates the shit out of me, (and DH!).  One such woman is the mother of his best friend.  Her MO is getting drunk and then shamelessly flirting with Darling Husband to the point that everyone else around her gets uncomfortable, including Darling Husband.  Drives me crazy!

Post # 4
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I do think it’s funny because FH has NO game — he can’t even tell when girls are hitting on him.  Guys hit on him too, and he has no idea so I tell him afterward and he’s always super surprised, lol.  I think that a woman flirting with a married or engaged man just looks stupid, so I really don’t let it bother me.

Post # 5
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

Honestly, I laugh at it– there are always those women in the world who enjoy flirting with “taken” men, and those that have tried have about as much of a chance at seducing him as a wet mop.  

I just don’t waste my energy getting upset because it doesn’t mean anything– just like my Fiance doesn’t care if another guy asks me to dance (FI hates dancing!) because he knows at the end of the night I’m going home with him and no one else. 

Post # 6
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee

I’m completely oblivious, so usually SO has to tell me he was being hit on after the fact! I just think people are trying to be friendly. The few times I have noticed I usually just hang out for a minute, my SO is a big softy towards me and for some reason that seems to really throw girls like that for a loop. I think they want to feel like they “trumped” the guy’s SO and when it doesn’t happen they get all deflated. I have to admit I get kind of a kick out of it, I’ve always dated guys that would ignore me in groups and my SO never has. 🙂

Those ladies do drive me crazy. One of my best friends is a shameless flirt and I get annoyed with her sometimes because her husband is such a good guy and I don’t think he should have to watch his wife flirting with other dudes all the time. 

Post # 7
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Our nextdoor neighbor flirts with my Fiance. He is completely unaware of this. I find it very noticable. I hardly get two words out of her if we’re both going to our cars at the same time. Not even a “hello” sometimes. If she sees Fiance, she comes right over and starts chatting. There was one day we were both outside, she didn’t see me, and she told him his haircut looked great. His response was to tell her how excited he is about our wedding. She could be one of those people with just a flirtacious personality, but it makes her look pretty bad.

Seeing girls flirt with Fiance normally doesn’t bug me at all. He never ever notices anyways. He also has no game, and can’t tell when a girl is hitting on him. Just seeing my neighbor get like that peeves me.

Post # 8
Member
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It used to bother me, but I now take it as a compliment! I am v secure in our relationship but it has taken me 7 and a half years of our relationship growing and going through ups and downs to reach this point. I guess some of the things we have been through kind of puts things in perspective and now I feel like if a girl wants to do that it’s her problem and harmless as he will just laugh it off and ignore it.

Post # 9
Member
5011 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

Generally I laugh at them or growl at them.

I laugh at the silly, slutty little girls who hit on him in clubs.

I growl at a few of his female friends who hit on him because he’s cute even though he’s taken. They generally respect me for it.

Post # 10
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee

I get annoyed when females flirt with my husband a) while I am with him and b) when he is clearly wearing a wedding band.  That’s rather ballsy and in poor taste to flirt with a married man.  On the rare chance Darling Husband isn’t wearing his ring and a stranger hits on him, I wouldn’t be as peeved at the chica since there was no real indication he’s “taken.”

Post # 11
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It all depends on the situation and how she is flirting. It it’s innocent then it doesnt bother me but if the girls is actually hitting on him and trying to make a move then I have no problem walking up and making sure she understands he’s engaged. By that I mean i’ll go be super lovey with him so she gets the point. If I found out later, as you did, it would bother me. Not sure why because I would know my fiance didn’t do anything and there isn’t anything I could have done to stop it but I hate the thought of my fiance and another woman flirting. Stupid female hormones.

Post # 12
Member
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Ellegee this!! hes suuper oblivious, and literally has no game lol. Its never happened while ive been around but he does tell me. Like once a girl sent over her brother to ask for his number while he was doin an instal [works for dtv], just told him he was married, we werent even engaged lol!

Post # 14
Member
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Missloveknot: I honestly think this is something that you go through for a while in a relatonship and then it kind of just goes away with time. Early on in our relationship I went through a bit of a wobbly jealous insecure phase and then it just faded with time as we grew together and as life happened and we went through things together that cemented our relationship. I understand how you feel tho. Ultimately it’s the problem of the girls who flirt knowing a man is taken, and not yours. 

Post # 15
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s a little annoying but I’m flattered in a weird way – he’s hot! I do admit to walking up and holding his hand or kissing him hello sometimes though 😉

Bless him – he’s usually oblivious! Plus I trust him totally so chalk it up as a compliment 🙂

Post # 16
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Generally I don’t have to handle it at all.  He handles it.  He doesn’t engage in the flirting at all.  So the woman just looks like she’s throwing herself at him and he’s just responding at the same level he would when he discusses the weather with the old man that lives next door.  It’s awesome, and really funny to watch.

I totally trust fi in this area–he would never cheat–but I also make sure he gets plenty of lovin’ all the time.

If someone is really laying it on thick, I don’t get pissed or confrontational because that just makes it look like there is a weakness in your relationship.  Instead I just outflirt her.  I can give fi a smoldering sexy look from across the room, and it will take less than a second for that woman to see what just happened and the look on fi’s face and know she doesn’t have a shot in hell. 

If I’m next to fi when something like this happens, I sometimes engage the woman in conversation myself, like maybe we will become friends, and I act totally oblivious to her flirting with fi.  It’s important to come across as actually interested in talking to her/getting to know her, though.  There can’t be any hint jealousy or competition.  That usually throws a ho off completely, so she leaves. And it makes a generally decent person shift gears and form some vague sense of loyalty/friendship with me that can help prevent future occurences. 

I never, ever act jealous or angry about it, though.  That’s really pointless and a waste of energy. He’s your man and you’ve got him, you take care of him, and no skank is going to be able to undo a good thing like that.

OP, you should be reassured that your man told you about this, and focus on how great it is that he is honest and forthcoming.  Focus on how great he is instead of how angry that slut makes you.

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