(Closed) how do you deal with people you no longer care for as friends?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2963 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would simply tell her the truth.

Post # 4
Member
9693 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I would just tell her I don’t want to be friends anymore or ignore her until she got the message. Depending on how much I care about the friendship to begin with dictates how I end it. If I were in your shoes, I would have told her we weren’t friends anymore on the trip and made her pay for and find her own accommodations and way home. If you want to be a bitch, I’ll treat you like a bitch and I sure wouldn’t ruin my own trip. If you don’t want her in your life anyway, it wouldn’t have really mattered if she got mad. 

If it was a girls’ trip, I wouldn’t have brought my partner and yet refused to let anyone else bring theirs though. That doesn’t make a lot of sense so I can see why she was annoyed about that. The rest though, she sounds like a lost cause. 

Post # 5
Member
12259 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think if she’s one friend, then I’d just ignore her.

But if you guys have a TON of mutual friends, it’s going to be a lot harder!

Post # 8
Member
8067 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@elliptical2013:  I think it is pretty mean and passive agressive to do all those things without speaking to her first. regradless of her behaviour this is about your behaviour.

You should probably be an adult and call her and let her know that you no longer wish to be friends with her. I mean it is more than just a casual friendship we are talking about, this women was supposed to be in your bridal party.

Post # 10
Member
8067 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@elliptical2013:  I think you are overracting. People have different personalities and whilst you don’t have to like their personality you should respect them as a human being with feelings.

But as I said this isn’t about her behaviour, it is about your behaviour. Your behaviour is showing other people that you are immature, mean and passive agressive. Do you really want people to think that way about you? If you share friends you don;t think that those people may talk about you behind your back like they did with you about this girl?

If I was in your friendship group and had experienced this girls behaviour I still would not think what you did was cool and would probably make me think about our relationship and if you could potential ever do the same thing to me. At the back of my mind I probably wouldn’t trust you very much.

Post # 11
Member
513 posts
Busy bee

@elliptical2013:   she sounds like a terror,  there’s no doubting that.  and I’m not excusing any of her childish behavior and I think you’re better off cutting her out of your life.  but telling a woman to go out and get drunk on her own in a strange city is dangerous and inconsiderate.  and I would feel weird if I was on a “girls” trip and someone’s fiance was there.  that would be awkward. 

 you’re being passive aggressive after the fact.  be an adult ( you sound really young) and have a face to face conversation.

Post # 12
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@elliptical2013:  I think it probably have been best to have at least shot her off a message before completly removing her from your life… even now it’d be a good idea to at least call her and let her know how you feel and that you no longer want to associate with her.

Post # 13
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think you’re on the right track, you just skipped the step where you tell her what you are doing and why. Get that done and then forget about her. It sounds like you’ve outgrown her and that is ok.  Just don’t stoop to her level, be the bigger person and all that. 

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