(Closed) how do you deal with people you no longer care for as friends?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@elliptical2013:  Whoah, that’s a major new piece of information. I wonder if she was doing drugs in the bathroom? That would explain why she was so touchy about bathroom use, as well as her changed / irrational behaviour.

Post # 18
Member
7555 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@elliptical2013:  I think that sounds good but I would definately include something about her behaviour in Vegas cementing these feelings for you. She does need to know that her behaviour was bad and that this is a main reason why the freiendship is ending. Otherwise she will go on thinking that her behaviour is acceptable. But if she is as bad as what you have written it will alas probably be lost on her.

Post # 20
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@elliptical2013:  can you its email her exactly what you said here and then be done with it?  If not, you’re the one living it so you have the best position to make that call from. I would just be afraid she’d reappear looking for an explain action or to just cause drama. I truly am not trying to urge your recision. You are the one living it and you will know what feels right. I apologize if I came across preachy or judgemental.  

Post # 22
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@elliptical2013:  good for you. Not that my opinion matters but I think tou did exactly the right thing. Telling her it was you who changed probably saved you a ton of grief. I hope it feels better to have that dealt with and not lingering. 

Post # 23
Member
2409 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@elliptical2013: I’m sorry you had to go through this but I’m glad you’ve resolved the situation with minimal drama. I think you did the right thing by blocking her right away. Some people may think doing something like that is passive aggressive, but I think you should protect yourself if other people don’t respect your boundaries. 

Blocking her from your social channels does that. 

Post # 24
Member
460 posts
Helper bee

@elliptical2013:  Glad you found a solution to the dillema. I think it’s not worth surrounding yourself with toxic people. 

Post # 25
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I think if you are confident enough you would tell her what her actions are and why you are condsidering on telling her you don’t want to be her friend.  Or you can slowly stop contacting her  and distance yourself.

 

 

Post # 26
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

The circle of friends we chose to surround ourselves with changes over time.

People come and go for various reasons (moving away, marriage, children, fights, etc).

If you no longer wish to be friends with this girl that is your choice.  Life is too short and too complicated to surround yourself with difficult people.

I do agree that traveling really brings out people’s true colors… as does weddings…..

 

Post # 28
Member
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

This is not going to be popular…

Sometimes the truth is that people are at a different point of their lives than others may in fact be.  This is in no way excusing the girl but more about looking at the situation from an outsiders point of view…  

There are times when we feel its fun to hang with friends and share hotel rooms having girl time.  But, sometimes even girls get past this for different reasons, circumstances, life changes, getting older, etc.  Sometimes ‘girl fun time’ does not fit into some peoples lives anymore.  Sometimes its not fun to share hotels.  And sometimes women like to have a room to themselves.  There may even be times that the ‘girltime/together fun time’ brings stress.  Some are happier and more content to be with their man either on vacation or at home.  Does it mean the girl isn’t a good friend anymore?  I can’t answer that one.  But, it may in fact mean this girl and you have grown apart and don’t fit into each others lives anymore.  It happens.

Post # 29
Member
6458 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Um…I ignore them.  

Post # 30
Member
1438 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you should have told her the truth at least.   

The topic ‘how do you deal with people you no longer care for as friends?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors