- 3 years ago
- Wedding: April 2017
As the title states, I’m looking for ways to deal with stress and/or anxiety.
I had a little bit of a mini breakdown a couple of weeks ago. Backstory: I got laid of from my engineering job last November. My mom, who is a real estate broker, said I could work for her while I looked for another engineering job. I already had my real estate license and have helped her from time to time but now I was basically her assistant. There are other agents/brokers in her practice that also have assistants so it wasn’t an unusual arrangement.
Once spring came, my mom became very busy so we transitioned to be co-agents. She was also trying to cut down her hours as my dad went to part time work. My parents have spent their lives working hard and now it was time to cut back and enjoy things, like traveling. She said I seemed much happier with RE than engineering and even though I was still applying to engineering jobs, I was being very picky. I got a couple of job offers but felt neither were a great fit.
I have not yet gotten used to working on commission. To be honest, I hate it. I’ve done OK so far, but no where near what I was making as an engineer. I know my expectations were too high and thought it was something I would just have to deal with.
My boyfriend has been so supportive with all this. I am the type that tends to be the rock for everyone else so having to rely on someone for support is not normal for me.
I lost a client after I had done a ton of work for them (a complete PITA couple that has absolutely unreal expectations) and even though losing them was the right thing for me, I took it way too personally and just had a breakdown where I was sobbing uncontrollably to my boyfriend. The pressure of working only on commission finally got to me, the pressure of not using my engineering degree has weighed heavily on me, and knowing that my boyfriend was paying for more (Even though he makes much more than me) made me feel incredibly guilty and like a mooch.
My outlet was working out. But I was using it as an escape and pressing myself harder and harder until I strained my calf muscle a couple of days ago. Now I cannot work out until it’s healed (I technically tore it), which will take a minimum of 4 weeks.
I finally went to my GP at my boyfriend’s insistance. I told her all the stress going on (not to mention what I’ve been through the last couple of years with 2 broken relationships). Her suggestion? She prescribed me an anti anxiety medication. It is a low dose and she said to take it if I need to take the edge off, but maybe since things are so crazy to take it for a few days straight.
I feel like a complete failure. I have never been prescribed medication for something like this. I have always been able to just “deal” with things.
So besides working out, what else can I do? I know I need to decide if I really want to stay in real estate. My goal is to eventually work part time when I have a family, something that is really hard to do with engineering, and it is something I can do with real estate. Do I just need to give it more time? I feel like I am letting my mom down. I feel like I am not pulling my weight financially in my relationship. My boyfriend thinks I have been happier in real estate and he just wants me happy.
I never have enough patience to sit and read a book. I don’t think I’ve read a book in years to be honest. I don’t have time to just take a hot bath and I feel guilty going and getting a massage or something frivolous.
Any other suggestions? Should I just take the anti anxiety medication? I’ve taken it for flying but never more than that.