(Closed) how do you decide who to invite to your wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2586 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

When it came to friends, we had a 6 month rule. Anyone who we haven’t talked to in 6 months – unless there was a REALLY good excuse – like a few friends who are out of the country on tour or in the military – will not get invited.  I figure if we’re not close enough to wish each other happy birthday or happy holidays, we’re not THAT close.

Post # 5
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I honestly just had to ask myself if I could imagine them being happy for us at the ceremony and having fun at the reception. We chose people we were closest with to invite. I also asked myself if I would be invited to their wedding if they were getting married. Worked for us. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would invite people that you speak to now, and disregard the people in your past.  If they talk to you now, I would invite them, but personally, I have cut a lot of people out from my past.  I talk to a bunch of different people on facebook, but if I saw them in real life, I probably wouldn’t have much to say to them.  If I wouldn’t pay for them to eat any other time, why would I shell out $100 for you to eat/drink now?  

It’s very tricky because you never want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but that happens sometimes.  I think that if you start reaching out to people in your past, you will then be like , “oh and I have to invite Betty because I invited Barbara.”  Then, the list just grows and grows.  Stick to your guns. πŸ™‚  It’s really tough.

Post # 8
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

I started with asking myself three things:

1.  How many people do we want total?

2.  Who do we have to invite – parents, siblings, etc.?

3.  What groups do we maybe want to invite (in order) if we have room?

We looked at who would likely come from #2 and how close that would put us to the limit in #1.  If we’d had extra spaces, we would have asked the first group from #3, then the second, etc.  In our case, #2 ended up being bigger than #1, so we didn’t invite any of the “extras”.

Post # 9
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It sounds like you’re feeling pressured by some expectation to have a certain # of people to invite.  DONT BE!!  Just invite your nearest & dearest.   Your wedding is probably one of the most important events of your life — my rule of thumb was to choose people who would be there at the 1) birth of my first child or 2) 20 year anniversary.  Think Besties.  Think people that you love & know through-and-through.  For some people, that’s just your future husband and some few family members.  For some it’s a cast of thousands.  

But if you’re thinking you shouldn’t invite people because you don’t know them well enough, don’t.  It’s too expensive.  And your wedding pictures are too precious to look back at in 10 years and think “who’s that?”  πŸ™‚

So….simple answer….who is in your phone today, that if you had a problem, you would call tomorrow?  Invite them.  

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