How do you determine if a relationship is a rebound or not?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
9720 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I think all you can do is enjoy your relationship as it is. Nothing good will come of analyzing everything he says or does. 

Post # 3
Member
2332 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Watch a basketball game and casually bring up what he thinks of rebounds

Post # 4
Member
2038 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Just because he’s just out of a relationship, it doesn’t mean it’s a rebound.

I had been on and off with my ex for about a year. At the beginning of the month I was fuming because my ex was still trying to play me and I was still falling for it. By the end of the month I’d met and had my first date with my husband and that was it – ex was forgotten and I didn’t look back.

Entering a relationship is always a risk. There’s always a risk you take. This relationship could work or it couldn’t, that may be because he’s still hurting or it may be down to different reasons. Is he worth the risk? Pay attention to the signs in the relationship overall, not just looking if you’re a rebound.

Post # 5
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

Innerdonught :  Hahah! I actually love this as a legit idea. It would keep things lighthearted for sure!

meganwendy :  For real though, I think rebounds get a bad rep. There’s a saying in spanish my grandma used to tell me that roughly translates to ‘the only thing that can get a nail out is another nail’. And I think there’s some truth to that. Moving on from one person often involves meeting another. My now Fiance and I met when both of us were just a few months out of very long-term relationships (he was with his ex for 6 years, I was with mine for 4). We were both very much in the ‘moving on’ stage of things when we met. We weren’t conciously looking for someone else to do the moving on with, but I think we’d both be lying if either of us said we were anything but broken when we first got together. We helped each other heal, and in the process found real, lasting love.

Rebounds become a problem when the two people in the relationship don’t have matching expectations – like, if he is really not ready to move on, but is just looking for companionship while you are interested in something serious (or at least somewhat committed). But this is something that can happen in any relationship – regardless of whether or not someone is recently broken up from something else or not. There are tons of reasons people don’t want to commit, and if you’re feeling insecure about where he stands in this relationship, the only way to find out is to ask. 

Post # 6
Member
1678 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Innerdonught :  HAHAHA That was great to read, thank you.

meganwendy :  I started dating my Fiance pretty much straight after he broke up with his Girlfriend of 5 years (as in so close together she accused him of an overlap… there wasn’t) and I had broken up with my Boyfriend or Best Friend of 6 months about a day before I met Fiance haha.  That was over 6 years ago now.  Timing is rarely perfect and if he hasn’t done anything that has indicated to you that you are a rebound, I’d take the risk.

Post # 8
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

meganwendy :  I just married what I’m sure some thought was a rebound lol we had our first date literally the day after I broke up with my ex of 3.5yrs – we were like you in that there was some mutual interest in each other pior to us dating, but the timing was never right.  And once it was, he took advantage of that.  Sometimes it just works out; I know it’s cheesy, but if it’s meant to be, it’ll work out regardless of how long he’s been single.

Post # 9
Member
4907 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

6 months isn’t that long and could have been ubwr casual. Enjoy getting to know him and see where it goes.

Post # 10
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I met my husband on the day he had broken up with his gf of 1 year (we met that night).  He was just celebrating (he said) at the bar and I was there after a wedding.  Rebounds only exist when one member wants one thing (a fling or noncomital relationship, whatever) and the other party wants something more.  All you can do is ask him what he is looking for.

Post # 11
Member
7768 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If he had just gotten out of a 6 year relationship and started dating you a few weeks later I’d be alarmed about the rebound factor, but 6 months? A relationship that ends at only 6 months in IMO was probably not that serious to begin with. I wouldn’t stress at this point. Obviously be cautious and don’t rush into anything and all that but yeah I wouldn’t worry too much.

Post # 12
Member
1123 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t give it too much thought and just enjoy things. I got with my now husband just weeks after breaking up from a 4 year relationship. I don’t in any way consider it a rebound, but Darling Husband felt a bit like you at the start and was worried I was just using him for company and help getting over my ex etc. He soon realised that wasn’t the case though.

I don’t think actual selfish rebound relationships are as common as we think.

Post # 13
Hostess
3868 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

loz24 :  I totally agree!  I was only a couple weeks out of a one year relationship when I met my Darling Husband and we were serious pretty quickly.  I would focus on enjoying the relationship!

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