How do you….do a wedding?

posted 6 months ago in Reception
Post # 2
549 posts
Busy bee

You start by making a guest list and budget. I made three lists: Who would be everyone you would ever invite, who do you think you’d actually invite being that money is not unlimited, and who can’t you have the wedding without. 

As for money, if you’re fixing up your house maybe you have a small wedding where you take your ten closest family out to dinner after a ceremony, or invite your 60 family and friends to a cake and punch reception instead of a big dance. You can’t plan a venue until you know how many people you want to host.

Post # 3
48 posts

For me the inspiration was found in visualizing both of our families coming together to meet and get acquainted. I’m not going to lie though, once I found my dress, our day took on a life of its own. I also visualize my dad walking me down the aisle.  

My fiancée and I are also both introverts and don’t like the attention on us. My fiancées’ goal is focused on getting our home and the weddding was a compromise for him. So I understand how life just seems so much more important than the wedding society deems as so important, but I see it as a way of taking the time in our lives together to pause and appreciate where we are. I hope this helps. Good luck ๐Ÿ€ 

Post # 4
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

You should look into using fun wedding planning tools like “The Knot” and “Zola.” They help you budget, find vendors, pick colors, and it works out a wedding timeline for you.

Post # 7
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2020

View original reply
jessthewizard :  I feel you on the introverted part, both my fiance and I get uncomfortable around large groups, my fiance in particular just shuts down and stops talking or anything, he will just go into a corner and blankly stare at nothing ๐Ÿ˜‚ so the big wedding wasnt for us. We only invited immediate family, (parents, siblings and siblings SOs/kids), my grandma who is the only grandparent left and then a very select few close friends. Guest count is 50, only because my fiance has a lot of siblings and they are mostly married with kids.

To get excited, think of it as planning a night with your close friend group. Dunno about you but my close circle are the only people that dont exhaust me and I love doing stuff with them.

Get on pinterest, play around with colours and themes. 

Look into your budget, excel is your friend and there are plenty of online resources.

Happy planning!

Post # 8
597 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
jessthewizard :  If a big, formal wedding is puttibg you off make it a big informal one. You could do something like get married at the park and gave a picnic table reception. You could still dance and do all the traditional wedding stuff, but with a more relaxed feel and less cost. Just am idea ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

Decide what kind of wedding you want: how many people, how formal, etc. Then see if you can afford the size and kind of wedding you have in mind. If not, adjust the wedding–make it less formal and smaller. Have the wedding you can afford.

If someone offers to contribute money, it’s much better if they give you a check now than if they say they’ll pay for the food or whatever. Paying for the food gives them control over the food and, in some people’s minds, control over much else. Do not count on any gifts of money until they clear your account.

Also, do not ask anyone other than your fiance for a list of people to be invited. Ask for a list, you’ll get a list. Of people to pay for. Maybe people you don’t know. Maybe people you don’t like. Do. Not. Ask. Parents. For. Guest. Lists.

Two other urgent pieces of advice: Serve what you serve and don’t ask your guests to pay for any of it. Invite both halves of any couple; the two people involved get to decide if they are a couple or not. You do not, however, have to let people bring dates, that is, “plus-ones.”

We set an absolute maximum of 100 people because my husband wanted it as small as possible. Fifty each–we each made a list (this was hard, but we each picked fifty people.) Then we went looking for a venue that was pretty and convenient and could do both the wedding and the reception. And picked a Sunday so the streets nearby would be quiet and so there would be on-street parking for the guests.

And so on….music, flowers, officiant, vows, food, alcohol, clothes, pictures. We didn’t have a wedding party so that meant we didn’t have a rehearsal or rehearsal dinner. Stationery–you need invitations and you’ll write a lot of thank-you notes. That’s really all you need. One step at a time.

Budget. Kind of wedding. Number of guests. Maintain control. Those are the basics.

Post # 10
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

Since you’re an introvert on a budget, I suggest a small restaurant wedding. Meaning you invite only immediate family and close friends. Do a ceremony in a public park, beach etc, or at a restaurant’s ceremony space. Then have your reception as a meal at the restaurant. 

There are also little wedding chapels that are full service, but those are probably a little more pricy. 


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