Post # 1
FI and I are interfaith (Catholic/Wiccan) and we’ll go to each other’s place of worship every now and then. Being Wiccan his “church” is very laidback, casual. Usually, I’ll wear nice jeans, a blouse, and cute flats. Do my hair and makeup.
FI only comes to church with me once a year, either Christmas or Easter. For Catholics, these are very important celebrations and require more formality than most other days. When trying to explain to FI that he should dress up, he complained (it’s one of his favorite hobbies) about it, but then his mother stepped in saying that he’s not Catholic, so it doesn’t matter what he wears. He could show up in jeans and a tshirt because he’s only there for me.
I was completely taken aback. Yes, it’s great that he’s willing to come at all, but I’d almost rather he not come at all than be so disrespectful as to dress like he’s going to the comic shop instead of Midnight Mass. It’s one thing to not own proper attire. It’s another thing entirely to be able to and just “not wanna.” I wouldn’t dare embarrass a loved one by pulling that at their church and I was appalled that she thought it would be ok to do so to me, especially when she’s not involved at all.
He ended up coming in a nice button up shirt, untucked, with jeans. I was not the happiest camper, but it was better than what he wore the year before.
It just got me thinking, and a recent thread brought it to mind, what do you wear to other people’s places of worship, particulary a religion you don’t practice. Do you care about “appropriate” attire?
Post # 3
I try to wear what’s appropriate. I will err on the side of more modesty if unsure. I’m not religious but I wouldn’t want to offend people that are in their own religious space.
Post # 4
I’m Wiccan myself but the few times I have gone to church services as part of a family thing or wedding, christening I have dressed appropriate to the place. formal /semi formal and modest. Despite me not sharing their beliefs I still want to share a mutual sense of respect for their place of worship and each other in general it’s simply polite and what I would expect from anyone who comes along to a Wiccan ceremony.
Post # 5
I’d wear more or less what I’d wear to my own church – modest, business casual-y, unless the person I was going with told me otherwise. For Christmas and Easter, though, I’d definitely be pulling out my nice dresses and heels.
Post # 6
I think when youre a guest (in a house, church, country etc) you adhere to your hosts attire standards with in reason.
ie when traveling in Islamic countries Im not wearing a burka, but Ill dress modestly and throw on a hijab when in houses of worship.
Post # 7
@HonoraryNerd: I do my best to dress appropriately for every occasion, and that includes going to someone’s place of worship. I’ve never been to Mass at any church and would need to google what appropriate attire would be, but I’d certainly put forth the effort to look presentable.
Honestly, this seems like a lost art these days. I just had my engagement party and my FI needed to call each of his hipster friends to make sure they knew what formal dress required. I wouldn’t have cared if anyone showed up in jeans (I’d still love my FI’s buddies), but it’s a refreshing sign of respect for the occasion to dress accordingly.
Post # 8
@HonoraryNerd: I’m an atheist, but when I attend church with family members or for a friend’s wedding/christening/funeral, I dress comparably to the parishioners of that church. In the same way that if I went to a holy site elsewhere in the world where covered heads and shoulders were expected, I would do that.
It’s not about showing respect to the other person’s god/s, which obviously a non-member does not worship and/or believe in, it’s about showing respect to the other people there. You don’t have to be a Catholic to behave graciously towards Catholics (and you can substitute any other faith or culture for Catholic in that sentence and it holds true).
Post # 9
i always get a little dressed up and dress modestly- no mini skirts and my back/shoulders are always covered. if i wear jeans they’re a nice dark wash- no dirty/distressed denim.
my mom taught us to always dress appropriately for church (if it matters, we’re catholic) and i can’t believe some of the things people wear sometimes- clothing with holes, t-shirts with inappropriate “artwork”, bras exposed.
when i saw pictures from my wedding ceremony and saw what some of our guests were wearing, i was mortified- strapless mini dresses, cleavage…my church is very conservative and i felt like i needed to call them afterwards and apologize for my guests’ lack of respect/common sense
Post # 10
I tend to wear a longer and more modest dress with a cardigan if it’s a morning service. For a Wednesday or Sunday night service or more casual gathering, I tend to wear black or grey pants with a nice shirt. I have sometimes worn jeans since FH’s church does sometimes have church on Friday night, but I always stick to a nicer top.
Post # 11
I’d wear whatever I wanted, within reason.
Post # 12
I try to at least wear dress pants but I don’t go to regular services. You can wear jeans at my family’s Catholic church but I babysat for & went to church with a mormon family all the time. They wore dressy clothes.
Post # 13
I err on the side of conservative and formal. Nothing too revealing, nothing too casual.