(Closed) how do you drop people from your wedding party?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

How long have you been engaged that “since i asked, she’s had 3 children and moved to the other side of the country.”? That would explain alot of this drama. Is there a good way? Not really. If you have been engaged for, rough math here with 3 pregnancies and a little lag time inbetween to breastfeed, 3 years and no one has purchased anything yet you can say that due to budget the wedding itself has been cut down and so the bridal party is as well. They should be aware that the relationships have changed.

BTW- don’t ask someone out of pity, that is a recipe for disaster

 

Post # 3
Member
3725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

jss77:  Echoing PP above, if you’ve been engaged for eons and eons, that changes how you might be able to change your bridal party. Engaged for 10 years now?

Post # 4
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - country club in Michigan

So based on this you’ve been engaged at least 3 years. I think before doing ANYTHING you should have a date set, a venue, and all that. Once you have that, then ask your wedding party. I wouldn’t ask or drop people out of the party until you have a real date set. And if you drop anyone, expect hurt feelings, regardless of how good you think your reasons are.

 

Based on the fact you wrote this EXACT SAME question 5 months ago…I’m guessing there still isn’t a date. And I also think you’re going to get the same responses you got back then.  

Post # 5
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It sounds like you two should elope.

Post # 6
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Unfortunately there isn’t a kind way to cut people from the wedding party, but I agree with pps. It sounds like there has been quite a period of time between when you originally asked them and now. They probably know themselves that the situation has changed. Good luck. 

Post # 7
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I would suggest no party. Its not required. But if you downsize, expect there could be hurt feelings.

Post # 8
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

cruisinbee:  +1.  The only good way to cut a bridal party member is to cut the whole party.

If you’re looking for not-good ways to cut a bridal party member, I suggest a post to their facebook wall or a flaming bag of poop.

Post # 9
Member
6827 posts
Busy Beekeeper

jennmariee:  +1

A flaming bag of poop…Still laughing. Thank you. I needed that.

Post # 10
Member
4250 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Ok, so a.) you didn’t really think things through before asking your bridesmaids…you chose one “out of pity” and it sounds like you haven’t been that close with your other friends for quite some time. Plus… b.) you haven’t set a date despite being engaged for YEARS from what it sounds like.  If you want to get married, set the date already, then consider who you want in your wedding party.  Choose the people you WANT next to you on that day.  I’m talking your closest friends, the people you can’t live without.  Not someone who you feel bad for and include her out of obligation.  Honestly though there is no good way to tell someone you don’t want them in the wedding party anymore.  It sounds like these people aren’t that close to you anyway so it probably won’t make a difference quite honestly.

Post # 11
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

How many years have you been engaged???

Post # 13
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

jss77:  You’ve been engaged for so long that these people probably forgot they were in your bridal party anyway! When the time comes, I would let your current bridesmaids know that you will only be having a Maid/Matron of Honor & if your Fiance isn’t even inviting his cousin, then that solves that problem! So much drama between two people that a smaller wedding party is probably for the better anyway!

Post # 14
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Yeah, after 4 years with at least another year to go, they probably aren’t assuming anything about your wedding. 

Post # 15
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Emm85:  Based on the fact you wrote this EXACT SAME question 5 months ago…I’m guessing there still isn’t a date. And I also think you’re going to get the same responses you got back then.

OKAY. Like what has changed, nothing. So why is the advice from that thread going to change. 

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