(Closed) How do you even deal with this? Long and sad

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
1991 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t even know what to say besides your family will be in my prayers…….

Post # 5
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Wow.  I am so, so sorry to hear this.  That’s absolutely horrible.  He must be feeling so damn guilty.  🙁 I am speechless beyond that.  I can’t even imagine accidentally rolling over on my child.  My heart breaks for the father and the family.  My thoughts and prayers go out to them.

Post # 6
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am so sorry to hear about this. Our thoughts are with you.

I think that he needs to be checked into a hospital for the suicide risk.

Post # 7
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh my goodness.  What a sad, tragic, awful thing to have happen.  You and your entire family will be in my prayers. 

Post # 8
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

WOW.
First off, I am so sorry that your family is going through this. No words can express how sorry I am.

Second, this is not J’s fault (which you know). This is a terrible accident. The death of a baby can never really be understood, no matter how it happens.

J really needs support at this moment. He needs to have someone with him, even if they aren’t talking. Just to know that he is not alone.

 

Post # 10
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow. This is so incredibly devastating. He needs to seek help immediately. This is something that could push anyone over the edge much less someone who has already been suicidal. The only thing you can do is just be there for him and encourage him to seek help and distance himself from the baby’s mother and grandmother. They obviously aren’t helping matters. Wow…just…wow. 

This has to be hard on your FI’s entire family. I’m so sorry everyone has to go through something so traumatic. 

Post # 12
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

This is so terrible. Really is.

Don’t forget about yourself in this situation. Even though this wasn’t your baby, it was a baby that you knew and were close to… and J is family. Remember to care for yourself. Talk when you’re ready. Seek any help that you need and do not feel ashamed to do so.

If you ever want to chat PM me (I am sure there are tons of others here who are willing to hear too).

Post # 13
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Poor J. Losing a child is the worst experience ever. Is there not some psych ward (sorry, I have no idea what it’s really called and I don’t mean to sound harsh) where he can get locked up for a few days? I say this because someone in my family tried to kill themself, 911 was called, and the police took her to the psych ward where she had to stay on lockdown until the doctors said she could be moved to another part. He needs help because this isn’t his fault.

Post # 14
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

There are psychiatric hospitals to keep him for a week or so.  Get him medicated regularly.   Make sure he progresses, etc.  The best way to go to those sort of facilities is to take J to the ER, explain the situation, and they will have a psychiatrist evaluate him.  He’ll most likely be a committed patient, BUT it’ll be for his own safety.  

Post # 15
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh how tragic……my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family……

This reminds me of a friend of mine.  My friend,  lets call her A,  went into hospital to have her baby,  all went well with the birth and they were gettting ready to go home,  when the baby needed a feed.  she was breast feeding.   A  was a large breasted woman BEFORE  getting pregnant, something like a 38ff…..so you can imagine how big her boobs got once she had given birth and they had filled with milk. 

She was ready to go, just giving her baby its feed,  sitting and talking to a nurse at the same time aswell.  her baby was feeding well.  then the nurse realised she had been feeding quite a long time…..(i didnt breast feed so i dont know, but apparently breast fed babies are fed in measurements of time on the breast, and not the amount of milk in a bottle) …..the nurse checked the baby and she had suffocated in her mothers huge breasts. 

Bad things happen,  and this woman didnt do anything wrong, and the nurse was sitting there the whole time……It was just a tragic thing that happened. 

Your FIs brother must be going through hell right now,  and feel that theres no-one left to be strong for. he might also believe that he was a bad father to have done that,  but he couldnt have been so bad if the babies mother trusted him enough to have been looking after  him in the first place. 

He will never get over this, but i hope in time the pain will ease for him. 

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