(Closed) How do you feel about Adopting a child of a different race

posted 9 years ago in Parenting
Post # 48
Member
3501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2002

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@cbee:  im with you!

bring on the adoptions and bring on one baby of every race to have one mixed beautiful family! ALL IN.

Post # 49
Member
2545 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@Sunchick19:  

I’m saying it doesn’t matter, in the sense that I would adopt. I’m not supid, I understand the challenges. And I undertsand them more, than people who have not experiences racial discrimination their entire life, like I have. Not my entire life, but from the ages of 5-17. Plus, I’m pretty sure that even though there will be hardships ( like any adoption), the pros will outweigh the cons. How are we ever supposed to overcome something like racial discrimination, if we don’t change it now. It is an effort that needs to be made all the time, not just when it is easiest. Children are resilient, and can overcome alot. A different race can be a hurdle, but it can be overcome, and it doesn’t all have to be negative, as you have made it out to be. In fact, there can be alot of positive outcomes from it, as well as alot of positive supportive people from the outside looking in.

Post # 50
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i could and would adopt a child of another race. not looking like me would not be an issue since even if we adopted a white baby, we would always tell him/her the truth anyway.

i don’t think i would adopt a baby from another country though. there are so many children here in the US who need families. even if they are not infants, they still need homes!

Post # 51
Member
3501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2002

I am totally not segrating by ANY means –  i think people of every race are so beautiful. but Fiance and i are looking into adopting because we have baby issues. and asian/chinese children are the most expensive. so for some families, that may mean they need to pick caucuasion or a different race. i couldnt believe that the prices varied so much based on ethnicity!

Post # 52
Member
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would consider adoption if I wasn’t able to have biological children but I would adopt within my own race. I’m not racist by any means, I just think it would be easier on everyone involved. 

Post # 53
Member
7768 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I find it sad to say “we don’t want to because the child could be made fun of.”  That is just playing into that mentality.  The truth is, you can get made fun of or be insecure about anything.  One thing I know about human nature:  people will make your life hell for being MORE beautiful then they are, for the color of your shoes, for the way your hair lays.  It doesn’t matter.  So I would not worry about something like that.  I try to break those mentalities.

 

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@Cash000:  I feel the same way. 

Post # 54
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would, but I live in a *very* liberal part of my state, and wouldn’t expect our child to have to deal with a lot of judgement.  If we lived in pretty much ANY other city in this state, I could see outsiders’ judgement being a tough thing for the child to have to deal with.  I also wonder about the “outsider,” aspect that someone else mentioned.  

 

Also…

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@Cash000:  “

 Culture is something that is real, and is different.

Race isn’t”

What?!  Culture is absolutely no more real than Race.  They’re labels we use to delineate different groups of people.  And as for your “Japanese baby living in Canada,” comparison, that child would, by nationality be Canadian, but by race/ethnicity, it would still be Japanese.  If anything, culture is something that can be erased- race and ethnicity can’t be. 

Post # 55
Member
2545 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@bells219:  

I disagree. Culture is something that can define a person. It is their beliefs, their heritage, their practices. It is apart of who they are. You can’t just take away someones culture, it is taking away their identity. Race is just an illusion. It is the genetic makeup of how we look. You can take away the label of what race they are, and they are still the same person. It doesn’t take away from who they are, because race is just the outside appreance, which only matters because society seems to care.

Post # 56
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My FSILs are adopted.  My Fiance’s mom was older when she had him & his brother, but wanted girls.  The oldest of his two sisters is from India & the younger is from China.  For various reasons, fiance & I do not plan on having biological children, but do plan on adopting.  We’re both open to adopting from outside our race. 

Post # 57
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@Cash000:  No doubt culture is both more malleable and can have a greater impact, but to say that race- genetics- is not real just makes you sound silly.  Race is not an illusion- perception is reality, and race is absolutely perceptable to each and every person.  It’s wonderful to say you’re race blind, but you can’t tell me that if you meet people of other races that it’s not one of the first things you’ll remember if you try to remember their face. 

 

FWIW, I’m on your side, I would adopt a child of another race, but like i said, I live in a place where that is pretty acceptable.  I’m all for being the change, but I would not recommend that someone use an innocent child to make that change in a place that has a culture deeply tied to race.  Make sense?

Post # 58
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@bells219:   I’m all for being the change, but I would not recommend that someone use an innocent child to make that change in a place that has a culture deeply tied to race.



That is what I wanted to say, said much more eloquently than I could have! Completely agree, I would want to see change too, but not by putting a child into a hostile environment. And yep, we all get made fun of for different things……but at least in my case, being different from your family AND being different from everyone else in your town is probably just too much.

Post # 59
Member
2545 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@bells219:  

I get what you are saying. But I still disagree, just because everyone thinks race is important doesn’t make it so. I mean, look whats happens with genocide and such. Just because someone thinks its okay to kill other people because of race, doesn’t make it so. It is real in the case that people look different. But is an illusion in the sense thatit doesn’t matter, it makes no difference on who a person is.

And like I said before, I understand racial discrimination, and it didn’t make me into some depressed, suicidal, distraught person, I overcame it. I also think an adopted person of different race can overcome it, it isn’t some death sentence you are placing on an innocent child. You are giving them a family for god sakes. It  doesn’t have to be only a negative situation at all. There can be many positives.

Post # 60
Member
2545 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Sorry if that makes little sense I was on the phone the whole time, but you get the point.

Post # 61
Member
2861 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It would not be my first choice, but I would. Studies have shown children adopted into a family of a different race have a much harder than than children adopted into a same race family. I would not want to make any child’s life harder than it had to be.

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