How do you feel about destination weddings?

posted 2 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 16
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I’m getting married abroad, but in the country I currently live in and the village my fiancé is from. There’s doubt that he would get a visa for us to get married in my country and definitely none of his family/friends could come whereas my family and a couple of friends can afford the trip and are willing to. Fewer than 10 people will travel though but I’m fine with that. We’ll also have a celebration in my country once we figure out his visa, hopefully next summer. 

As for more eberal destination weddings, I probably wouldn’t go to one. I would travel to go to the weddings of my friends who live abroad if I could afford it, but I’m not up for a forced holiday just because they think it’s a pretty location.

Post # 17
Member
3726 posts
Sugar bee

I just spent $3500 on a destination wedding, and its on a Sunday so I had no choice but to take Monday off as well. I think it royally sucks. We have another destination wedding that isn’t family next year, and its in the Carribean during spring break. No way am I going to that! I think its awesome to elope at a destination, but I really think its crappy in most other scenarios.

Post # 18
Member
6292 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

I don’t really get it when people say it’s an excuse for a holiday. Like, I don’t need an excuse; we go abroad 2-3 times a year to places we WANT to visit.

We’re attending a wedding in Australia next month, and while I am excited to go because this is my oldest, closest friend (plus it isn’t a destination wedding as she now lives there and her fiance is Australian), and have made the most of going by doing an extended trip and seeing a bunch of places, Australia was pretty low down my list of places I want to visit, and it means that next year we won’t be able to do the holiday we would have liked to (and will probably be making do with 1 trip, possibly 2 at a push, rather than 3) due to cost and time off work. There is no way we’d have gone if she wasn’t my absolute best friend.

If it were pretty much anyone else, then even if the destination were closer to home we’d have declined as honestly, the trip we wanted to take next year (a 2.5-3 week Croatia/Montenegro/Bosnia multi-centre) would have taken priority. Unless of course the wedding was in one of those places, on the dates we wanted to travel lol

Post # 19
Member
1258 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I’ve never been to one but it sounds fun. I love to travel so I’d go if one of the following two checkboxes are checked: person is very close family member or friend OR if it’s a location I’m interested in visiting anyway.

Post # 20
Member
9501 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Honestly, I find them annoying most of the time and probably wouldn’t go unless it was a place I actually wanted to visit or a very close family member.

At this point it would be taking away from our own vacations (funds, time away from work, etc) which we take very few of as it is.

Post # 21
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

ohana33 :  I think they are an inconvenience to your guests. I love to travel BUT I prefer to keep my vacation separate from group events (i.e. a wedding). 

Some social circles love them so it boils down to your group. Like other PPs, the bride and groom needs to understand if their guests cannot attend.

Editing: If I had a destination wedding I would want to absorb the costs (most if not all) with accommodations and food. My logic is, my guests would not be here if I wasn’t getting married. I would not assume they could treat it as a “vacation” I would want to make it special for them since I am asking them to take time off from work and travel to my wedding.

Post # 22
Member
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m with your fi.

Post # 23
Member
3450 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Its not an excuse for a holiday! Can we please not say that or try to justify it this way. 😒 We’re very picky about our international travel choices and just bc a couple thinks they have found some fantastic location does not mean everyone else will be thrilled to spend time, money and effort getting there. I wouldn’t say DWs are inconsiderate since attending any wedding is optional but for the majority they are inconvenient so feel free to have one as long as you can graciously accept declines for those who can’t or won’t attend and don’t make bs excuses so it seems like some wonderful treat for your guests. Keeping costs low = inconvenient, pretty location = inconvenient, chance for a holiday in a place we may not even want to visit = still frickin inconvenient.

Post # 24
Member
2340 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I don’t have a problem with them at all, but then I do assume that the couple are not expecting the majority of invited guests to attend. 

I might or might not attend, I attended one many years ago. It’s only a problem if the bride and groom get pissy when people decline. 

I do think it is very bad form to do those packages where the guests’ hotel costs essentially pay for the wedding. Attendees should be free to book their own cheaper accommodation and the bride and groom should pay the real cost of their own accommodation and wedding. My friend’s wedding in Italy was not one of those package things, and she put research into finding a range of possible accommodation for her guests and paid for a bus to scoop us all up and drop us off. 

It still worked out cheaper for them for a high quality experience just because food and alcohol costs so much more in the UK than in rural Abruzzo. It was a brilliant wedding.  

Post # 25
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

As long as youre gracious about declines then whatever. But… if its a strain on your immediate families financially then I would not sacrifice their attendance for scenery.

Post # 26
Member
47203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

“I’m sorry. We are unable to attend. Have a wonderful time!”

Post # 27
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I have to agree with your Fiance, I can’t help but similarly with those that have weddings on holidays like Christmas, it does comes off as a bit selfish. At the same time however you have all the right to decline the RSVP and not take it personal

Post # 28
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I tend to think they are a bit selfish.  My FI’s friend was supposed to have a destination wedding this past week actually.  We debated for a while on whether or not to go because we were really wanting to go on an Italy vacation this year and can’t afford to do both.  So even though the couple said they wouldn’t care if people didn’t go, we knew deep down that they would be upset if we skipped (especially becasue my Fiance was asked to be a groomsman).  So I just really dislike that destination weddings dictate what vacation you are taking that year (assuming that you can’t afford more than one big vacation).  

On a side note the couple called off their wedding about 4 weeks beforehand.  So they really screwed a lot of people.  FI and I ended up canceling the trip so we could do the Italy trip we were dreaming of, but it cost us $400 to cancel. undecided

Post # 29
Member
4121 posts
Honey bee

ohana33 :  It depends. If let’s say it’s the hometown of the bride or groom, then it’s okay. For example, if we havefriends who are getting married who both live in SoCal then their wedding will be In a town in Florida because that’s where the bride is originally from then I understand. Wait, does my example even count as a destination wedding?

What I don’t like are those Sandals(?) and Secrets destination wedding packages. I got invited to one and checked out the resort’s wedding website. The bride & groom basically only pay like $4k then the guests need to pay $1800 per person themselves to stay at the resort for several days. And there’s a rule that 80% of their 30 guests MUST stay at their venue’s hotel. No ifs, ands or buts about it. So ultimately, the guests are paying for their wedding. Something like this would be selfish IMO.

Post # 30
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Due to the costs involved I would only attend a Destination Wedding for a close famility member or friend. My SIL recently had a Destination Wedding in Dominican Republic. When surrounded by a good group DW’s can be so much fun. We did treat that trip like a vacation for the year. 

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