Post # 31
Weddings cost money no matter what. Most everyone has people from far away on the list no matter what you do. If I’m going to travel for a wedding, I’d love it if it was somewhere with a beatiful beach, or at a historical castle. Traveling to a place that feels more like a vacation would be great in my book. I know people that had destination weddings but didn’t invite many people because they thought it would be rude to suggest people travel. I don’t agree. It’s up to a guest to accept or decline a invite no matter where it is. I think you should have a destination wedding if that’s what you want. Maybe your Fiance would be more open to it if you choose somewhere he’d always wanted to go?
Post # 32
socalgirl1689 : I’ve never heard of a secret desination wedding….The guests don’t know where they are going for the wedding? Now I’m intriqued. I don’t think I’d like it either, but you’ve got my curiosity peaked. Have you ever attended one? Feel free to share.
Post # 33
I’m happy to travel for a wedding from time to time, but can’t do several in a year. However, I’m only really interested in doing this to places I find interesting, and where I can plan my own enjoyable side-tirp vacation to do my own thing before or after the wedding. E.g. this summer we went to a Destination Wedding in St. John’s, Newfoundland (groom’s hometown) — but we love Newfoundland and had been wanting to go back, a bunch of our friends went and it was fun to hang out with them, we were able to offset the flight costs by staying with a friend’s family for several nights, and we took a fun little roadtrip getaway on our own for a couple nights at the end, so it really did feel like our main summer vacation and something we might have planned on our own.
I’m not interested in the caribbean resorts where so many people seem to have DWs, and would decline one for anyone but the very closest friends or family.
Post # 34
ohana33 : although I didn’t have one myself, I actually really like it when I get invited to a destination wedding. It’s an excuse to travel somewhere I’ve possibly never been before. Quite often, I’ll book more nights just to get the “vacation” feel out of it. The first day or two is wedding related, and then I have the rest of the week for some vacation time. I only think its selfish if the bride and groom expect people to be there, no matter what. Most people that I know who have had destination weddings operate under the assumption that not many guests will make it due to work/money/etc, so really I don’t see any harm as long as you are ok with possibly a large number of declines.
Post # 35
I think they are great for immediate family. Instead of expecting your parents to help pay for your wedding, you can just ask them to attend instead, lol.
Post # 36
keepingitreal8675309 : No, that’s not what I meant. What I’m talking about is that Secrets Resort around the Mexican Riviera for example. It’s a name of the resort or I’m not sure if Secrets has a chain of resorts catering specifically to destination weddings.
Post # 37
I think they are kinda selfish and I really hate when brides throw a fit because people don’t want to drop over a grand on their weddings and decline the invite. We have one coming up in the spring and Im not sure how we are going to pay for it, but its one I really have to be that both personally and professionally.
Post # 38
- Wedding: August 2017 - Combermere Abbey
I absolutely LOVE to travel and so does my husband so any excuse to go abroad is a positive for us. We are going to a wedding in Paris next month and cannot wait (although it is not a destination wedding as the couple live their permenantly now)! We live in the UK and most of our friends chose destination weddings in Europe so it is very affordable and as it’s usually on the weekend we don’t need to use up any annual leave so it’s very convenient. However I can see the other side and can see that couples choosing this option are more often than not prioritising the venue over their guests. If I went to a destination wedding I would expect to pay absolutely nothing for that day and have activities organised around us, open bar, etc.
Post # 39
I hate them. I usually end up traveling to most weddings, but expecting people to go out of the country or somewhere far away (Hawaii) is basically telling me that I can no longer take my own vacation (as a dw usually eats up my funding and limited PTO time) for soneons else day. I would go for a sibling or best friend, but not be happy about it.
Post # 40
I’m having a destination wedding and I love it because it weeds people out. I don’t want a lot of people there and basically only those that really want to come, will come. I have no problem with people declining at all.
Post # 41
I don’t mind them but I do have to admit that it drives me nuts when I see posts about people saving money by having a destination wedding. Really they aren’t saving money, they are passing the costs off on to others.
The one we went too a few years ago included the wedding package with the B&G’s original room and then they ended up getting a massive room upgrade due to how many people booked a room for their wedding. Throw in that the dinner took place at one of the restaurants with the regular menu (it was an all inclusive) and we felt a bit like we had paid for their wedding. We did have fun at the wedding but that’s because it was the exact right group of people. We wouldn’t attend unless we were very close to the couple or unless it was in a destination we had always wanted to go too.
Bit of a disclaimer: I know in some situations the B&G do end up shelling out quite a bit of money to throw a reception or have a dinner at the destination location which I would have really appreciated for the one we went too.
I think as long as the B&G have absolutely no expectations for people to come, they’re fine.
Post # 42
I think it’s selfish too, expecting people to spend a ton of money on your wedding. If I am going on vacation, I would like to choose the destination and vacation for me is time away from all the chaos so Destination Wedding will not be a vacation for me but it would take a lot of $$$ and PTO from my vacation. If it’s my wedding I should be spending so that my guests can have a great time. For people who say, it will weed out guests, why are you inviting people you do not want to in the first place!!! There is only 1 exception to it i.e. 90% of your guests will have to fly anyway.
Post # 43
I’m on the same page as your Fiance. I think DWs are selfish unless the destination is the hometown of the bride or groom. These make sense, and it can be amazing to see the family’s connection, where the bride/groom grew up, etc.
Mostly they are very inconvenient. You are asking people to go on holiday somewhere they probably woudn’t choose themselves (such as an all-inclusive resort – I would never go to one by choice. A Destination Wedding is NOT ‘an excuse for a holiday’ for most people). DWs require guests to pay a lot of money plus use holiday time.
DWs also exclude people who are less wealthy and people who have inflexible holiday time. I’m a high school teacher and I’m absolutely not permitted to take holiday time other than the breaks scheduled by the school. Because of this I have missed out on a couple of weddings because they were DWs. It really sucks.
Of course, you are entitled to do whatever you want for your wedding, but I think having a Destination Wedding means you have to understand when people can’t come or even choose not to come.
Post # 44
weddingmaven : < what she said.
I would only go to a destination wedding of someone I was SUPER SUPER SUPER close to.
Post # 45
While I can see how destination weddings can be viewed as selfish, we are having one in November. Most of our guests/families are out of town, so even if we had it a home, majority of the guests would have to incur expenses to attend.
Instead we decided to do wedding at Cayman Islands. To help our guests with the cost we are providing up to 4 nights of free accommodation (two bedroom shared condos). This way guests can attend the wedding while enjoying mini vacation at a great scuba diving location (most of the guests are divers).
I was completely fine with declines, but so far we got 100% response rate. But we have invited only families and close friends.
I agree on all-inclusive options where guests basically paying for everything, their travel and basically for your wedding. That’s a no!