How do you feel about destination weddings?

posted 2 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 61
Member
745 posts
Busy bee

I don’t know why people get worried about travel when it comes to desination weddings vs regular ones. I live near a airport and I can usually fly to las vegas for 20-45 dollars while going to a more ‘local wedding’ would be much more work since I’d have to rent a car and get a much more expensive hotel. Just because a wedding is considered destination doesn’t automatically mean that it’s more expensive or more work to attend. 

Post # 62
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Bar Harbor Inn

msmanchoo78 :  I agree about weeding people out.  With the career that I have, I felt obligated to invite a huge amount of people and people I did not want there.  Having the Destination Wedding made it so that just the people I wanted there showed.  I did not care if people could not come.  Our wedding was definitely more expensive than a wedding we would have had at home even with having 100 or so less people than we would have had at a home wedding.  I don’t know who’s saving on these things.  

Post # 63
Member
7038 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t find a Destination Wedding any more selfish than any other wedding.

People get so bent out of shape over it, but seriously I want to meet these people who ONLY have friends and family local to them? We live in a time where people no longer married in the town they grew up in. Instead people work, attend college, and generally move all over the country – thus having friends and family all spread out.

A destination wedding in Mexico would cost me just as much as the wedding in CT that I attended last year. Why? Because in Mexico I’m paying for flight + resort stay (generally all inclusive) and an airport transfer. At the CT wedding I had a flight, rental car, hotel, and every single meal individually. And before anyone wants to argue that I’m wrong I travel internationally to resort areas A LOT and am well aware of the hidden costs.

At the end of the day, a Destination Wedding is no differnent than any other wedding. A wedding invitation isn’t a summons to court, if you don’t want to go just RSVP no.

Post # 64
Member
2527 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I dislike them as well, and I agree with your Fiance – for the same reasons he listed. 

Post # 65
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper

ohana33 :  I don’t think it’s selfish, you can have whatever kind of wedding you want. However, if I was invited to a destination wedding, unless it was close family or a long time best friend, I’d decline. No hard feelings and I’d send a card and likely a gift, it’s just that it’s not even about money, it’s about vacation time from work. We have long distance loved ones and only limited time from our jobs, so if it comes to a choice between a destination wedding or visiting loved ones I haven’t seen in months or even a year, I’ll choose vaca time with family. 

Post # 66
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

i wouldnt attend one unless it was close family, or Darling Husband family. 

i think the only expection to this would be if they were having a wedding in a place ive always wanted to visit. 

Me and Darling Husband have travelled quite a bit internationally at this point. 

Any bees plan on getting married in Switzerland anytime soon send me an invite ๐Ÿ˜‰ ha. 

Post # 67
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee

I think they’re great! It not a summons, and the fact is the couple probably already cleared the Destination Wedding with family/friends most important to them. So not only is it a great vacation, but it naturally slims down the guest list ๐Ÿ˜‰ Also, they’re great for people with family from very different parts of the country/world…to keep things “fair” and whatnot. 

Post # 68
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

runnergal :  exactly! No one is required to attend, and my close family and friends will attend. It’s all good! Those who can’t will see the pics! 

 

Post # 69
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

ohana33 :  I like them if they are affordable enough and given enough notice. 

Post # 70
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

ribbonsandbling :  we are definitely on the same page!

I’m not getting a free wedding at all. At my destination wedding I’m paying for cocktail hour, reception, DJ, photographer, etc. Plus I’m paying for a private boat ride for  my guests!

Post # 71
Member
704 posts
Busy bee

I agree but only to an extent. To have a big Destination Wedding seems a little selfish but if it’s just your close friends and family than that’s different. 

Post # 72
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

People say you can always say no but would go for their closest friends and family. I will tell you as someone who’s best friend was married at an AI for 2500/pp my husband and I dropped 5000 on a week “vacation” we didn’t want. We smiled, sucked it up, but seriously you have no way of knowing your closest friends and family are all happy the way you perceive it. Because I’m confident there are people like me, and saying “this is a fun vacation for everyone” is a cop out. It’s not, but you have friends and family who love you and will put up with it to not ruin your vision.

Post # 73
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

I’m personally planning one so no I don’t really think they are selfish! My family all live in Canada and my FI’s family live in England. we thought it would be the fairest and most affordable for all to have a destination wedding in the Caribbean. Everyone gets an all-inclusive vacation if they decide to come. I am going to invite everyone I would invite if it were in Canada but I completely understand if they can’t make it. I really don’t expect many people but whoever can I will be thrilled! I personally don’t see it as selfish – an invitation is not a summons. PEople can of course decline if they cannot attend! Also my venue will be off-resort so it really will just be a resort vacation than I will shuttle everyone to a new location – so no guests paying my wedding for me ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 75
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Maybe I’m biased because I’m having a Destination Wedding. I was originally planning at 200 person wedding in NYC that I didn’t want. And the price tag was just over $70k. I was people pleasing. One day I woke up and said “F this”. Cancelled everything. Fiance and I agreeed that we would rather have a Destination Wedding. It’s still going to cost us about $20k, which is fine. But this is about what WE want. Not what our friends want. Or even what our mothers want. They already had their weddings, they don’t get a say in mine. And if you can’t make it, that’s okay too! I’ll have a drink for you. I’m not concerned with catering to everyone else’s needs on my day. If you can make it, wonderful. If you can’t, see you when we get back! There is no obligation for anyone to attend 

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