Post # 1
How do you feel about giving people rides?
Pesonally, I hate it. I don’t mind occassionally picking someone up when its on my way. But I hate having so many friends who never drive and if you go out with them you have to pick them, drive them to the place, take them home and then drive back the opposite direction to go home. It takes up so much gas and my car doesn’t run well in the winter (need to buy a better one).
I have a few friends who don’t have cars and they like to brag how “they get along just fine without a car and save so much money” even though their friends and boyfriends end up driving them everywhere.
Also, I like them to ask for a ride. Rather than make plans and get a text message ten minutes before we are about to hang out “you can pick me up now”. Yes, I know they don’t have a car, but I hate when they assume I’m always picking them up.
I realize I’m sounding prettly selfish. I don’t mind if a few bees “slap some sense into me”. Its just such a pet peeve of mine and it really strains certain friendships.
Post # 3
@MissShork: I don’t mind it, mostly because, my neighbor watches my dog when we go on vacay, and i’ll take her to the grocery store/wholesale store. I’ll also take her home from work (though I work at 11th and A and she works at 11th and B, and we have to ride from the same bus stop)
Post # 4
I voted “hate it” but it is for the specific situation you described– people who don’t have cars and make it everyone else’s problem to transport them on a regular basis. I had two friends like that and it annoyed the crap out of me. Honestly I just refused after a while. I’d just not make plans with them anymore because I wasn’t okay with being their chauffer.
Now, if we’re talking about a (more common) situation where someone needs a ride to the airport or their car is in the shop, or you alternate picking each other up to hang out so only one person has to drive— totally fine with all of that. But I don’t like feeling taken advantage of.
Post # 5
I understand if my friends don’t have a car for financial reasons, or it’s convenient for me to pick them up on the way somewhere, but I don’t like when people get presumptuous.
If someone doesn’t want to buy a car, they don’t have to. However, I won’t let their lack of a car become my issue for how they get to and from places, unless it’s an extreme circumstance.
Post # 6
CorgiTales Yah, I definitely don’t mind driving people to airport or when their car is getting fixed.
I’m more speaking of driving the same people on a regular basis.
Post # 7
Fiance used to drive a friend to hockey every single Tuesday for 3 years. However, it wasn’t out of his way and he liked that he got to spend a bit of time with the friend chatting in the car.
The situation you describe is a whole other thing. I don’t mind driving friends usually because we live outside the city and most of them take public transit/don’t leave the city so if I want them to come visit me I will gladly pick them up 🙂
Post # 8
I’ve given people rides in the past if it’s on my way, convenient or if I’ve volunterred. I also have said no on many occasions when I thought it might turn into a habit or they started taking advantage of me.
I’ve went out with girlfriends for a night out and we take turns being the designated driver. If I had friends who purposely don’t own a car to save money and they constantly asked for a ride I would feel like they’re using me. Now, if they offered to pay for gas then that’s a different story. It’s not only the gas, it’s wear and tear on your vehicle (oil changes, tires, tune up…etc). If you feel that you’re gaining something money can’t buy (you enjoy their company) then you both are benefiting.
It sound to me like you feel you’re not benefiting from giving them rides and they’re taking advantage. When they ask for a ride and don’t offer anything in return you can just say “Oh, I’m sorry I can’t” and just leave it as that. You don’t have to exlain why you can’t, you simply can’t.
Post # 9
I didn’t mind for the first while because my friends were working on getting their licenses, but now they’ve stopped working on it because they can get along just fine without…I really don’t think they realize how much it costs to keep a car going…
Post # 10
I have never been in a situation where a friend didnt have a car, so generally I have no problem giving rides because its usually to an airport, or to pick up a car being fixed etc.
So therefore, we all help each other out in that respect. If it were constant and the favor not repaid in some way, then I would not do it, or start to ask for some gas money or other repayment.
Post # 11
@CorgiTales: Wow you nailed it!!!!!
My Fiance has a “friend” who only contacts him for rides and money!!! And nothing else!! I cannot wait until my Fiance is sick of this man and his wife using him.
I want to tell this man and his wife, get a freaking drivers license and stop asking my Fiance for rides and money even when you know that u make more then him and you know hes struggling with his own bills.
Post # 12
I dont drive. (Fi does and we have a car) But I do ask friends for rides here and there but ALWAYS give them gas money! And I never ask for them to just take me to random places its only when they want to hang out!
Post # 13
I don’t care. It doesn’t bother me. If we are going out together, I don’t mind. Now, if I had a friend that uses me because I have a car. Then we would have a problem. My sister and her husband only has one car, so she always needs a ride. In her case, I don’t mind because it’s a given. If I don’t pick her up, I probably won’t see her as much as I do.
Post # 14
Depends who it was! Some people will try and grab a lift from me all the time, I usually offer to people who don’t pester me for it 🙂
Post # 15
my friend in college didnt have her license. So when we would go out to the bars or clubs she of course didnt drive. She could get shit faced every time. She had it so easy because she would never be the designated driver. It was just really annoying after a while. She always had the easy way out. She wouldn’t even offer to pay for a drink here or there to make up for it. It’s annoying.
Post # 16
90% of my friends don’t have either their car or their license anymore so I’m used to driving people around if I want to hang out with them. My ex Fiance had never even gotten his license so I was the driver for everyone for years.