(Closed) How do you feel about guests posting photos of your wedding to social media?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

We got the app “wedpics” to deal with this issue. All of our guests with smartphones now have it as well. We are having a somewhat secret wedding, very small. We wanted guests to share their pictures with us, and then we can decide when and if to share them on Social Media Platforms. I don’t worry so much about “unflattering” photos, just the fact that we are married getting out too soon. We plan to announce about a week afterwards when my daughter gets back home.

 

Pinterest has some nice signs and ideas to ask kindly to not use phones, etc…

Post # 4
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

You are allowed to have an unplugged wedding. Some place it on their invites, post it on social media before the wedding, and on the programs.

“We have hired a photographer to get all of our fantastic shots, so our guests and sit and enjoy the day. Please refrain from posting any photos of our wedding on social media at this time. Thanks!”

You can google for a better saying even.

Post # 5
Member
13653 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I think it’s rude and presumptuous to post anyone’s private event, photos of others etc. without their express permission.  

I think you can make your preferences clear and that it’s entirely appropriate. 

Post # 6
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - country club in Michigan

I have no issue with this, as long as none are posted of me before my fiance sees me (so no bridesmaids posting getting ready shots).

 

Like it or not, your in public, and cant restrict another adults cell phone usage politely, nor do you have full control of what gets posted and doesnt. You can request no flash photography, and request no photos during the ceremony, but the reception is pretty much open. If I was asked not to take photos during a reception I’d be pretty offended. 

Post # 7
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I personally LOVED seeing all the pics on social media that night/the next day! It was such a fun way to relive it when it was over. That said, if it makes you uncomfortable then have an “unplugged” wedding and ask your guests not to share online! They will understand. 🙂

something else you could do if you and your guests are tech savvy is create a photo album on google drive (or even in iCloud if you use Mac products) and have your guests share their pics through that. That way you still get to see all the pics but it’s limited to those at the wedding and then anyone else you decide to share with.

Post # 8
Member
4758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We requested in our programs that no ceremony pictures be posted (we didn’t care about the reception). No one seemed to mind, and our photographer loved it!

Post # 9
Member
1998 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

It doesn’t bother me at all. We are actually encouraging it by having everyone use a hashtag with posts on instagram, twitter, or facebook. Our favors are sunglasses (outdoor wedding) with our hashtag on the side. and we plan to have a instagram sign for guests to use during cocktail hour for fun. See pic below. It really is up to the couple but if you are uncomfortable I would say have an unplugged wedding. Your guest should respect that.

Post # 10
Member
13653 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
Emm85:  A wedding is a private event. You may not like it, but OP is within her rights to make such a request. 

Post # 11
Member
3208 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

View original reply
KimmyP:  while I think an unplugged ceremony can be managed (with maybe a few rogue guests), I can’t see a fully unplugged wedding successfully implemented.

I struggled with this while planning my wedding. I wanted a fully unplugged wedding but decided that it would be better for stress levels if I just let it be. I don’t use social media and feel relatively uncomfortable about sharing my private life with others. My wedding was smaller than yours, but I knew that guests would still post photos online.

We decided that if we couldn’t control the beast, we would at least control the brand. It may have just been the magic worked behind the scenes by my husband’s digital agency, but embracing social media was one of the best things about my wedding! We sat in bed with an iPad looking through our hashtag the morning after the wedding and it was like seeing the event through new eyes. All of the photos were beautiful and relatively cohesive. While I think I was caught at a few bad angles, I’m grateful to have left that to my husband’s very capable hands. 

 

Post # 12
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We asked that people not post photos to social media before we had a chance to share our photographer’s photos.  Everyone complied.  We had a very small wedding, though.  There were less than 20 people total, and they were mostly immediate family, so it was easy to personally communicate that request to everyone beforehand.  Nobody even pulled out cameras or cell phones until the afterparty because the gathering was so intimate and lively that there really wasn’t a chance to.  The wedding was just naturally “unplugged” because everyone was more in to experiencing the party than documenting it.

Post # 13
Member
2803 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I am planning on making an attempt at an unplugged wedding. The main reason is that both FIs mom and uncle have actually pushe. Photographers out of the way to get shots… We are not playing that game.

I also have an issue with people posting photos of me on social media (in general). I do not think it is appropriate to post photos of people without their  knowledge or consent. We will be having a sign at the ceremony/reception, and it will also be announced. 

I don’t plan on policing the issue. If guests are taking photos of themselves At the reception, I could care less. It is my hope that my guests will respect my wishes enough to simply not post potos of myself, Fiance or our children.

Post # 14
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

We requested that people not share on social media.  I like to control my personal social media exposure as much as possible, and I wanted to wait for the professional pictures as I have a lot of family on Facebook who I couldn’t invite to the wedding.  Everyone was fine with it.  I was okay with people posting photos of themselves or each other at my wedding, though, so some background/decor was visible. 

Post # 15
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
KimmyP:  

I didnt want one single photo of any part of my wedding day/night shared on social media.  It was MY wedding, a private & personal event by invitation only.  There is nothing wrong with that.

We had our officiant say a few words about the venue (it was a museum so certain rules & information needed to be given) and then he just said a few words expressing that the bride and groom ask that guests respect their privacy and do not share any photos in social media or otherwise public forums.  And it worked, not a single photo was posted.  

A few days later one of my aunts asked if it would be okay to post her photos to our family group on FB.  It is a closed group and only members can see it, it’s family only, we use it to spread information for holiday parties, funerals, etc., as well as picture sharing.  I said that was perfectly fine with me so she posted her photos & then word spread and a few other relatives posted their photos.  That was fine because no one is in that group that wasn’t at my wedding so nothing was shared with outsiders.   But if I didn’t want photos shared there either I would have had no problem saying so.

I find it rude and tacky to post a bunch of photos online of other people’s private & intimate moments and would never dream of doing that myself.  But some people don’t think that way and need to be told not to.  It’s perfectly alright to do so.  Don’t be shy about it.

The PP that said your wedding is a public event & there’s nothing you can do about it was dead wrong.  A wedding is a private event.  

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