(Closed) How do you feel about guests posting photos of your wedding to social media?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
Member
3238 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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KimmyP:  you have the right to request whatever you want. As a former bride (who LOVED seeing pics of my day straight away instead of waiting for my pro pics) and wedding guest it’s my right to think its a ridiculous request. I felt that the guests who didn’t listen were rude. I also felt the bride and groom were rude for trying to tell me, an adult, what to do. You don’t have to agree!

Post # 32
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wedding photog here and believe me, I love unplugged wedding ceremonies, but even with all the signs and announcements in the world, some people choose to be disrespectful. You can do the following things to help make it better:

 

1) Have minister announce, and print a blurb in your program, asking for ceremony to be unplugged

2) Work with your coordinator that you would not be seen by any guests prior to ceremony

3) Change your FB settings so that you have to approve any tags on your timeline if people tag you

4) Ask nicely on your wedding website that people not post photos of the 2 of you  – they can feel free to post photos of themselves on FB. Most guests I’ve found just want validation for how good THEY look. 

But beyond that, unless you’re a celebrity for whom the privacy is more understandable (though also often violated), that’s about it =(

Post # 33
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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carolinabelle:  if the bride asks guests not to post pictures of her on Facebook, what would compel anyone to do so?  I don’t get it.  Someone else’s wedding is not my business to share with my 1,000 plus friends.  That’s the tragedy of our era. People have lost all sense of decorum and privacy.    

Post # 34
Member
3238 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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Annonnie89:  if you read my first post I wouldn’t personally do that, I followed the bride and grooms “instructions”. But there are lots of people who didn’t. Just an observation from my experience that will hopefully encourage the bride to change things she can control, like not allowing people to tag her in pics on FB. 

Post # 35
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly, unless you are having a super small wedding, I think it will be hard to ensure no one posts photos to social media. Personally, if I went to a wedding where they asked no one to post any photos at all, I would find it a bit presumptuous on the bride and groom’s part (I know I’m going a bit against the grain here). Remember, you can always un-tag yourself in photos and/or hide them from your timeline so anyone looking at your profile can’t see them. You can also change your settings to where you have to approve anything before it gets posted to your timeline. 

The only thing I would mind is if someone posted photos of me before my Fiance sees me, but that won’t happen because the only people seeing me will be my bridesmaids and mom. 

Post # 36
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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bluebirdie:  I really don’t get this.  I just don’t.  Let’s assume I don’t want friends of friends and/or mutual acquaintances that I’m not close to seeing me in my wedding dress.  Is it that much to ask that my frenemy, for instance, not be privy to my wedding?  (She’ll recognize it’s me, even if I’m not tagged.)

It’s pretty ENTITLED to go to a private event paid for and hosted by another person and to then post pictures of that event on-line, even if the host isn’t tagged. 

What happened to respecting other peoples’ rights to privacy?????

Post # 38
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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KimmyP:  to be fair, people aren’t posting pictures of the bride and groom to make them angry! They are doing it because they are happy for them and want to share the good news! I don’t see anything wrong or ill-intentioned with that.

Post # 40
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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KimmyP:  there is nothing weird or awkward about not wanting random people to see your special moments.  You’re not Kim Kardashian.  You don’t get paid every time someone posts a picture of you. 

Anyway, if your crowd is anything like mine, they won’t post photos if you ask them not to.  I hope that your friends are respectful enough to follow your wishes.

Post # 41
Member
13656 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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liv2016:  You are right that many church services are theoretically open to the public and that if photos are allowed during services there is not much recourse if someone were not to respect those wishes. But in reality the ceremony is almost always by invitation, making it a de facto private event. It’s all moot because from a consideration and manners perspective it is appropriate to respect and comply with the request.

Post # 42
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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bluebirdie:  I had 120 guests at my wedding & not a single photo was posted online.

The fact that one can untag themselves & hide things from their own timeline is beside the point.  

I can’t for the life of me understand why a guest wouldn’t honor the bride & grooms request to keep their private event private.  That sure makes one lousy & disrespectful guest.  Guests like these need to get their own life to post to social media, they seriously need to get a grip.

Just curious, you said you’d only have an issue with photos if someone posted photos before your Fiance sees you.  What if your mom or bridesmaid posted photos then?  They are guests afterall and maybe they find it presumptous of you to ask them not to post photos.  So I guess that would be fine?  

Post # 43
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Why do you not just change your social media security so you have to approve all tagged images before they appear on your wall ? I have had this set up for years (mainly to avoid bad prom pics at the time!) its not that difficult. I personally think in the ceremony its fine to ask for no photos, but I must admit I have never been to a wedding where guests have had to ask to put images on FB/Twitter etc.  It might be your event but you can’t expect people to not take and share images, like it or not. 

Edit* also every wedding I have been to this summer (5 so far) every bride has hated her photographer images but loved the guest pictures! the photographer pictures were lovely howevrer they didn’t like them ๐Ÿ™

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by  BizzzzyBee.
Post # 44
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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BizzzzyBee:  there’s a difference between 1) guests taking pictures and 2) guests posting them on-line.  I will never understand the madness of sharing someone elses wedding/major life event on line.

Post # 45
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

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lim3:  I would for sure respect the request to post nothing to social media if that was the bride and groom’s desire, I just don’t really understand it. I think we may have to agree to disagree so to speak! Personally it doesn’t matter one bit to me who sees our wedding pictures, or when. But I get that it’s super important to other people, I just dont really “get it” so to speak. 

For the part about my bridesmaids, I’m definitely not going to ask them not to post any pictures while we’re getting ready. I just know that they won’t because I’ve been in weddings with them before and it’s never been an issue.  If for some reason they did post them, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. They can post as many as they want as long as I don’t have my dress on yet, and if I did have my dress on and they posted one, it still wouldn’t be the same as my Fiance seeing me live and in person. 

I think part of my issue with unplugged weddings is that is almost like a foreign language to me. I’ve never even heard of that concept before the Bee. Every wedding I’ve ever gone to usually advertises their wedding hashtag starting at the rehearsal dinner because they want photos posted. So an unplugged wedding is something I just don’t really get ๐Ÿ™‚ 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by  bluebirdie.

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