(Closed) How do you feel about guests posting photos of your wedding to social media?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

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Annonnie89:  I’m trying to understand the unplugged wedding pount of view, but I just honestly don’t get it. Maybe because around my area the trend is to have a wedding hashtag and encourage guests to post their photos to social media? I had never even heard of an unplugged wedding before the Bee, so it’s like a foreign concept to me. 

I agree a guest would be rude to disregard a bride and groom’s request to please not post any photos, I just personally don’t really get why sone people are so adement that no one post any photos of them on social media. 

I am getting married in my home town, away from a lot of my friends who as a result won’t be able to make the wedding. I’ve had many people tell me to be sure and post photos so they can see me all dressed up and see what the wedding was like, and my response is “sure!”. Just two different  mindsets I guess! 

Post # 47
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1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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bluebirdie:  Well actually now I think we do basically agree.  Agree that guests can & should respect the request.  We feel differently about photo sharing regarding our own weddings.  I do understand the appeal of a wedding hashtag & being able to go online & see all the photos of your guests & see what they saw, I totally get it.  My desire for privacy just outweighs it.

I’m not sure what “unplugged” means but if it means no devices allowed then I didn’t have that.  Phones & cameras were totally welcome, just no photo sharing on social media please because it offends my modest nature.  

Post # 48
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1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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BizzzzyBee:  “It might be your event but you can’t expect people not to take & share pictures online” Uh, yes you can expect them not to plaster pictures of your private event all over facebook if you request that they don’t.  

Post # 49
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

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bluebirdie:  facebook started in 2004 and Twitter a few years after that.  I’m assuming that you are over 10 years old.  Surely, you can imagine a world where people lived their lives without posting every movement on social media?  

What if I don’t want Facebook OWNING an image of me at my wedding?  FOREVER.  I can’t stop my guests from posting it, according to you.  Where does the right to post about other people stop? Where does my right to privacy begin?

When the Patriot Act came out, people were terrified that the government would use it to collect information about private individuals.  It’s scary to see how easily people part with their privacy and security just fifteen years later.  

Just because something is encouraged and everyone’s doing it, doesn’t make it a smart choice.

 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by Profile Photo Annonnie89.
Post # 50
Member
788 posts
Busy bee

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KimmyP:  I wouldn’t mind if people posted pictures from the wedding onto social media…the part that would really bother me is that she is doing it in real time. I feel like the bride & groom should have the opportunity to post pictures of their wedding before other people put them out there.

Just like when a couple has a baby…the first picture or announcement of birth should be by the parents. I feel the same when it comes to weddings.

Post # 51
Member
2372 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

People I know, mostly just post photos of themselves on social media! Maybe I know self-centered people. They might post one with the bride, but no one knows who you are, or where, unless they know you.

Lots of pictures of people at tables holding up drinks, people with their arms around each other, holding drinks, etc…

Post # 52
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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KimmyP:  We did an unplugged wedding ceremony (pics were allowed at the reception) but we also requested that guests not post any pictures from the event at all on social media. Of course, it is impossible to police this and control what people do on their social networking accounts, but our guests have so far been very respectful of our request. I completely understand how you feel. We had a smaller wedding with fewer guests because we CHOSE to…not because we had to with budget constraints or space….we only wanted to share that PRIVATE moment with our truly nearest and dearest….not the random friends of DH’s mom who know nothing about us.

The first thing we did after deciding that we wanted an unplugged and social media free wedding was to get in touch with the 3 people that we KNEW loved to post tons of pictures from other people’s private moments or just generally inappropriate times. These were all members of DH’s family (his mom, his aunt, and his grandma). They will post about anything to get attention and likes and claim they are “just so happy/upset they need to share it with their closest friends”….um no, they’re just attention-seekers, but I digress haha. I specifically sent messages to them with a link to the article below and politely said that I wanted to give them a heads up because I know they were looking forward to sharing pictures. They were all gracious about it. I gave them enough time to get used to the idea so that they didn’t arrive at the wedding to find out the rules after being fully prepared to snap away.

http://apracticalwedding.com/2013/05/unplugged-wedding-advice/

Then, we had a sign at the wedding that mentioned no cameras/cell phones during the ceremony and also requested that no one post anything on social networking sites. This note was also in our program, and the pastor announced the no camera/cell phone rules right before the ceremony began.

Going into it, we just had to accept that we wouldn’t be able to control what people posted, but we could at least prevent them from sharing the most intimate parts of our very private wedding with all of the people we purposedly did not invite. Cell phone and cameras simply weren’t allowed during the ceremony, so our vows were not recorded, our first kiss was not all over Facebook, and the memory of us becoming husband and wife belonged only to the people in the church who actually witnessed it.

Post # 53
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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KimmyP: Oh, and when I say that guests were pretty much respectful of our request, not a single picture of our wedding day was posted online by any guests aside from the photographer. Our unplugged wedding was a success. Yes, we got some passive agressive comments written on FB by the disgruntled aunt, but not a single photo from our day.

Post # 55
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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KimmyP:  I agree that it is rude. However, you can ask your guest not too but you can not make your guest. The only way to prevent this for sure is to have your wedding at a venue with NO wifi/cell reception. However, then your guest would just post when they get home… sadly too many people live life through social media rather than actual life.

Post # 56
Member
900 posts
Busy bee

The more there merrier, I don’t care! That way I can see guest pics while waiting for the pro pics.

Post # 57
Member
553 posts
Busy bee

I am not crazy about pics being posted on social media. Being a guest doesn’t entitle anyone to do so. However, not sure what you can do about it other than nicely making your wishes clear. I had to repeatedly ask certain people not to post pics of my daughter, for example, but I think (hope!) they finally got the point.

Post # 58
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

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Annonnie89:  I think the whole issue of privacy and social media is pretty complex these days. The world definitely isn’t the same as it was pre-social media! 

You’re definitely right that just because something is popular that it is necessarily best. I have a hard time delineating where one individual’s right to their image and another individual’s right to their photo begin and end. I don’t think it’s super clear cut. And for the sake of transperancy, as pro okay-to-post as I am, FB is the only type of social media I have. No Twitter/Instagram/whatever else for this girl! 

That said, while I can support the no ceremony pics and no bride/groom pics bandwagon if that’s what the bride and groom want, I do find it a bit over the top to say no pictures at all to social media…..mostly because most pics I see on social media from weddings are selfies or pics that show no wedding details. 

I didn’t mean to get off OP’s topic. So sorry! If someone wants to say no to social media, that’s totally their prerogative and their guests should respect that. I was just trying to say that as a guest, I would find it a bit strange and probably wouldn’t really like it. But I would definitely respect the request! 

Post # 59
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m in the same boat as the bees that loved waking up the next morning to see all the candid and fun shots from our guests. Especially since we won’t see any pro pics until we are back From our honeymoon!  

Post # 60
Member
2007 posts
Buzzing bee

Fiance and I are going to ask the celebrant to make an announcement before everything kicks off to request the guests don’t take any pics during the ceremony. This will prevent people getting in the way of the photographer. We also want to be the ones who post the first pic of us so the celebrant will ask that no photos be uploaded to social media until after the first dance (we will be having the first dance right after our entrance to the reception so they don’t have to wait long. Fiance has a cousin who is lovely but she is a social media freak and will probably be doing the “in real time” posting like you said. I’m hoping she respects our wishes and waits until after the first dance.

I’m not too concerned about potential unflattering photos because I’m always hot y’all!! Haha, just kidding, I think most people have fairly newer phones that take better quality photos nowadays anyway so we actually can’t wait to see what shots our guests get. Candid pics are my favourite!! Plus Fiance and I are quite laidback and don’t take ourselves too seriously. In about 10 photos, you’ll get on good one and 9 with us pulling some ridiculous faces. We always make sure we get at least one, decent photo and then it’s a free-for-all lol. You can always untag the ones you don’t like…

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