(Closed) how do you feel about guests that rsvp & dont show up?! angry vent

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

WAH! that sucks! I’m sorry.

I am waiting for RSVP where I think they are just assuming we know they are coming. I WANT CONFIRMATION!!!

It’s so rude that they did that to you…

Post # 5
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

18 no shows is a lot, that’s really rude. Some people just don’t understand the expense and planning… or don’t care. I’m sorry that happened, but congrats on your marriage!

Post # 7
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@oneovakind:  Wow, his own brothers didn’t come to the reception?? That’s really hurtful!

Post # 8
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I feel your pain! The last time around I had 243 Rsvp yes and had confirmation from them all within 60 hours before and only 120 came. I was so upset! Luckily we had a more informal wedding and it was catered by a group of church ladies so though we lost probably $500 in food it wasn’t a by the plate charge. I never got a word of explanation and they were all from his side 🙁 Rude!

Since I still live in that area {maybe area =rude guests? I am a transplant so unsure.} I am struggling with who to get to caterer. I definitely plan to go more formal this time but  hate the idea of a being charged by the plate and so many not show. I would much rather lose food since maybe some of that can be frozen??.  I really am wondering if people around here just don’t realize this is rude or exactly how much weddings cost. Most weddings here are the backyard BBQ/ use the church hall type so they may not realize that most places you pay for catering by the plate. Maybe the same is true for your area? I have actually thought about being gauch and tacky and bring up constantly how much weddings cost per person from now til the wedding in the hopes of educating people :p 

I am so sorry this happened to you and I feel your pain!

Post # 10
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

@oneovakind:  I feel like my caterer jipped me. He assured me, that people would be full. They were hungry. That $900 could’ve made sure they weren’t.

The $900 was already spent for the 18 people who didn’t show up… so nobody should have gone hungry because there was extra food there! I don’t get it… There should have been enough food for everyone!

Post # 12
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

So sorry to hear about the no shows.  Ugh, that’s horrible!

Regarding the caterer, I would think if you planned and paid for 18 people that didn’t show, then that food would still be part of the deal and thus be more food for other guests.  I would definitely complain and ask for some kind of refund.  After (regardless of outcome) I would do reviews on Yelp and other review sites about your guests going hungry even though 18 people didn’t show!


Post # 13
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it sucks! Stuff comes up but serously it’s rude and like you pointed cost people money. I hope you guys didn’t let it ruin your day. When he a little more removed from the situation he should adress it with those family members and friends, however life too short sometimes so not talking to them forever may just be his emotions talking now.

How did everything else go?

Post # 16
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Aww well glad other things worked out, if you good atmosphere and awesome food then I’m sure it was a great party!


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