(Closed) How do you feel about head tables?

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Nope! Unless your entire wedding party is single, it sucks for them and their date/SO to have to be separated, especially if they don’t know anyone else.  I’m going with a sweetheart table personally, with the wedding party and their dates seated at tables right next to us.

Post # 4
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am trying to avoid having a designated head table if I can avoid it. I want the bridal party to sit at a round table like the rest of the guests. It may not work due to numbers though. 

I don’t feel super strong about it, but I am personally not a huge fan of them.

ETA: I am not a fan of them being out there in the center of the room, and the focus of the room, because I have stage fright. However, I do also agree with lawschoolbride, and if my bridal party had dates that had to be stuck at a singals table I would try to avoid that.

 

Post # 4
Member
4804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t mind them!

Post # 6
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I hate them! Fiance was a groomsman at one of his distant friends wedding so I had to sit with all these people I didnt know. It was so awkward and Fiance felt really bad since I didnt really know anyone.

Post # 7
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Skip em

Just have a “sweetheart” table for you and your groom.

Post # 8
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I feel like I’m in the minority who actually likes them and prefers them to sweetheart tables 🙂 I can’t explain why, I just feel like they feel more wedding-y to me, part of what makes a wedding a wedding, if that makes sense. If any of the bridal party have dates then the dates can sit at the head table too. (Though I can see how this would get ridiculous if there are 5 people on each side and all of them have dates…not sure what I’d do in that situation.)

We are doing a head table at our wedding and none of our bridal party will have dates (no one is dating anyone right now so none of them are going to get a +1; our “rule” for +1s is that they must be dating that person for more than a year), so it will just be me, Fiance, my Maid/Matron of Honor and 2 BMs, and his Best Man.

Post # 9
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

In your situation it might not be so bad. But if you could squeeze in the two dates it would be better. It sucks not getting seated by your SO.

Post # 10
Member
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I don’t have any particular problem with head tables, granted that the members of the wedding party can all have their SO’s or dates sitting with them.  I don’t agree with splitting them up and having their dates sit separately.  So if the wedding party is too big to make that feasible, I’d say ditch the head table and choose a different seating arrangement.  But aside from that issue, I don’t have any dislike for head tables in general.

Post # 11
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@pyma: Ok duh I just read your whole post now (missed a bit before) and I think what I said applies to you — in your case, give the 2 “dates” a seat next to their dudes at the head table, or, like you said, sit them together elsewhere since they’re friends.

The way I see it is sort of like…the bridal party all have places of honor and all have a “duty” to perform that day — to be in the bridal party and do things with the rest of the bridal party. It would be like if they went to watch their date give a talk at a conference, or run a race, or whatever — they would be sitting in the audience, with the other dates of other participants, not up on stage or running alongside them, right? They might get better seats though — stage-side or front row or at the finish line or what have you, but their dates are ultimately there to perform something or other, and they are there to support them and also to spend time with them at the cocktail reception/after-party/what-have-you.

So apply that to the wedding…the wedding party dates are there to support them (i.e. let them “perform their duty” during the wedding and dinner and special dances/events at the reception) so they get seats in the “audience” (with the rest of the guests) or possibly “better seats” (at the head table, or right next to it), and they get to spend time with their dates once the “events are over” (after dinner/bridal party dance/whatever, when everyone is dancing and mingling).

Totally not trying to be high-and-mighty or anything but I am just trying to explain what I mean haha. I’m long-winded sometimes 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t like them. Why am I on display while eating? And not to mention – I can only talk to the 2 people on either side of me. Ugh.

I’d rather have our bridal party + us to be seated at a round table like a normal dinner, and we can all chat with each other.

Buuutttt…..Fiance wants one, so we’re having one.

*bangs head against the wall*

Post # 13
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

When I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a wedding we were all seated at the Bridal Party table.  All but two of us were married and all of our SOs were seated elsewhere.  It would have been nice to sit with Darling Husband but it wasn’t a huge sacrifice or anything.  It was only a couple hours away from him.  We’re together all the time, 2 hours isn’t exactly a big deal (to us).

ETA: The table was like what bebefly described.  A bridal party table, but not apart from all the other tables.

Post # 14
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t really mind them, but I think that’s because that’s all I’m used to. My family is huge so I’ve been to/in a lot of weddings and have only seen head tables. Having been in a few weddings I’ve been used to being seperated from my SO at dinner. A lot of people in my family and FI’s family tend to just opt for a special table for the dates of the bridal party. 

I think part of me wants to do a sweetheart table and not bother with the head table. The other part of me just wants to do the head table because that’s what has been mashed into my head all my life. 

Post # 15
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

We are doing 4, “main tables”, one will be of my Fiance and I, with our immediate families(parents, siblings) and the other 3 will be of our wedding party with their dates/Spouses. This works with our layout, but might not work for others.

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