Post # 1
I always thought holiday proposals were cliche and overdone. Whether it be Christmas, New Years, 4th of July, Valentines Day, or any others. But now that I’m officially in waiting and my boyfriend is visiting in December I’m wondering if it would be so bad? We’re long distance and he’ll be here for about 2 weeks, flying in on Christmas Day and leaving sometime in early January. I’m thinking Christmas is out since he wants to talk to my dad first, so that leaves New Years Eve (or I suppose New Years Day). We have a huge party every year and the more I think about it the more I think I’d be okay with it. But I’ve told him in the past absolutely no holidays, so how do I tell him it would be okay without making him feel like it’s expected? Sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I’m just so conflicted!
Post # 2
pandabear813: There’s no right or wrong time to propose. It has to come naturally. If it falls on a holiday, so be it! All the more to celebrate!
Post # 3
I don’t particularly care for them, but I wouldn’t say no! I just think things should be celebrated separately in case something goes wrong. Let my birthday be my birthday!
I’ve also heard that proposing on a birthday, anniversary, or Christmas can null them”conditional terms” on the engagement ring and make it a gift. Aka, he can’t ask for it back.
Post # 4
I think they are a little cliche, but I wouldn’t have been upset had he proposed on a holiday. My husband wanted to catch me off guard though, so he picked a completely random day that had no other significance to it.
Post # 5
It wouldn’t be my first choice, but if my Fiance had proposed on a holiday I would’ve still been happy. I do prefer for milestones like that to have their own day.
Post # 6
pandabear813: I couldn’t be more neutral. It makes no difference to me whatsoever – the day of the week, month, year, etc. I would prefer it be private.
Don’t take this personally, it’s not a put down towards you or anything. But in my mind I can’t bridge together wanting to marry someone with only wanting it if done in such specific terns as “absolutely no holidays”. I’m not saying it’s wrong, I’m saying my little brain can’t compute & it makes me scratch my head.
I wonder why is it that for some, a holiday proposal is out of the question? Anyone care to share their perspective?
Post # 7
I don’t care when other people get engaged, but personally I’d rather a proposal not fall on a holiday. A holiday proposal would of course in no way diminish my elation at getting engaged to the love of my life, but my boyfriend and I are weird people and a (in my opinion) cliched proposal just wouldn’t feel like us.
Post # 8
If it works for you both, it’s no big deal. Besides, there are other days between Xmas and New Years anyway. Me, I am too practical and felt that on the off-chance that things didn’t work out (and that’s true for more people than I’d like and quite often unexpected), I’d always associate that holiday with that proposal and the aftermath. I didn’t want to potentially ruin my holidays forevermore. Ultimately I’d have taken any proposal he gave me, but I’d have preferred it to be a standard day.
On the other hand, I have a friend who was proposed to and married on typical days. When the marriage failed catastrophically, she still obsessed over those dates for a few years until she’d found a new boyfriend. And even now I think she still remembers those days on Facebook with a ‘grateful’ type posting. So my theory about holidays probably has no real basis at all – if something bad happens, people get stuck on it anyway.
It’s also a pretty negative reasoning I have, haha. Which brings us back to if it works for you, then who cares what anyone else thinks?
Post # 9
For me, it depends on the holiday. I’m not very big on Valentine’s day- I love doing cute Valentine’s Day cards, but I don’t like the whole “this must be an ultra romantic or sexy day” thing, it doesn’t suit us. Halloween seems way more about fun than love (not that love isn’t fun!) and Easter and Thanksgiving are very, very important family-oriented holidays for us so it would feel very awkward and out of place for those holidays. Christmas, however, has always been very special to us and I could see making it extra meaningful by adding a proposal. I used to be vehemently against the idea, but then I imagined our lives 25 – 30 years down the road where we have grown children and we sit around the tree and talk about “the year Daddy and I got engaged” It gives me the warm fuzzies haha
Post # 10
lim3: I’m not saying I’m absolutely against it, just always thought they were a bit cliche. I don’t care if he proposes with a rubber band on Valentine’s Day, I’d say yes regardless. I agree that people who say “absolutely not” to any given criteria for a proposal doesn’t really make sense to me, but when it comes to preference I don’t think a holiday would suit our personalities. The only reason I’m a bit conflicted with New Years Eve specifically is because much of my family would be there and I’m very close to my family. Really just something to consider!
Post # 11
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
I’d rather it not be on a holiday, but it wouldn’t alter my excitement or my answer if it fell on one.
Post # 12
pandabear813: For what it’s worth, I voted absolutely not because I thought your question was about how we’d feel about getting it on a holiday, not whether we’d accept it. I’d have totally accepted had he done that. But I absolutely did not want him to.
Post # 13
pandabear813: I’m not trying to be mean or judgey, but it’s a real shame that you told him previously that holiday proposals are off limits. Because in essence by doing that, you were controlling whatever ideas he might have had.
And now that you’ve changed your mind you’ve kind of backed yourself into a corner.
Personally I wouldn’t say anything further. The damage has been done, if you will.
If you go back to him again and tell him you think a holiday proposal would be OK, then you’re kind of putting him on the spot and fishing. If he wasn’t planning on proposing, then he might feel pressured or awkward.
As far as my own personal experience, my birthday is right before Thanksgiving and my Darling Husband proposed to me on my b-day. I LOVED being newly engaged during the holidays. It was so romantic and fun. I didn’t care whether other people might think it was cliched. I was having too much fun.
Also too I wasn’t annoyed by all of the jewelry commercials, instead I enjoyed them!
Again I don’t mean to sound rude and I hope my post didn’t come across that way. We all put our foot in our mouth sometimes, myself included. I would just keep quiet and let him do his thing. And trust that the proposal is coming at some point when he’s ready.
Have you two talked about a timeline?
Post # 14
I got proposed to on New Years, we had a party at home and right after midnight the neighbors put on a huge fireworks show. We all went outside to watch them. I felt a tap on my shoulder and when I look back, my now husband was on one knee with the ring box open. I was clueless!
All our friends took pictures of it with the fireworks behind us. It was absolutely amazing.
So I guess you can say I’m all for holiday proposals haha.
Post # 15
I probably shouldn’t have said I told him absolutely no holidays. I suppose I meant that we’ve discussed it, and my preference has been no holidays or cliche proposals. I wasn’t thinking when I typed that, I didn’t mean to come off that way and I apologize.