(Closed) How do you feel about including "til death do we part" in vows?

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: So?

    I think it should be in every wedding with remotely traditional vows

    I want(ed) it, but it's not for everyone

    I considered/might want it

    I don't/didn't want it but it's nice for some people

    I don't think it should be in any wedding

    Other (I'll explain)

    Other (but I'll let the mystery torture you)

  • Post # 32
    Member
    3772 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think we are going to say, “From this day forward, amen.” I just don’t want to think about death on our wedding day. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    2084 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    It’s definitely tradition in my family and I don’t mind saying it in my vows. It’s for some and not others of course. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    3637 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    @Overjoyed:  But what happens when people can live on Mars?!?! I’m being silly of course but you never know, in some distance year in the future it will have to be “as long as we both live together in this galaxy.” (which actually sounds kind of cool).

     

     

    View original reply
    @PacificMrs:  I really like this but I do believe in re-marrying after your spouse dies so the forever doesn’t fit with me 100%. I DO love the ring it has to it though…Things to ponder. 

    Post # 35
    Member
    634 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @ladyamalthea:  I want my marriage to last an eternity, beyond life and death.

    Post # 36
    Member
    8482 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I have a friend that believes in reincarnation, and her and her boyfriend plan on saying “until we start our next adventure” or something along those lines.

    Post # 37
    Member
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    View original reply
    @Autumnsnow:  I was just going to say this. We wrote our own vows and it was obvious that we intended to be together forever, whatever that may mean. 

     

    Post # 38
    Member
    9950 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    TO

    View original reply
    @idoalterations:  I believe you are thinking of the traditional vows that went…

    “I, ___, take thee ___ to my wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, ‘til death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth. With my body I thee worship, and all that I possess I share with thee: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”

    For many people, the interpretation of “and thereto I plight / pledge thee my troth” translates into… and thereto I pledge you my vow.

    So married, here on earth and beyond in the afterlife as well.

    I am an oldtimer (over 50) and that was certainly the interpretation that I was taught / brought up with in my Anglican / Church of England / Methodist home.

    Altho more modern translations now say that this phrase actually means… “my vow is true” (no mention of the afterlife)

    When I was married the first time (circa 1980) the wording to the Marriage Vows above had changed slightly…

    OBEY had been removed… that phrase was now “to Love, Honour & Cherish”.

    “Til Death us do part” was still in there… but the “troth” bit was gone.

    This seemed to be because the church had changed their stance a lot on Marriage in the mid 20th Century… Most people remarry after the Death of a Spouse.  And Divorce didn’t have the same stigma as it once did (no element of death or afterlife there)

    That at least is this oldtimer’s take on the topic.

    As for this time round…

    Mr TTR & I stuck with pretty traditional Vows… so yes there was the element of “forever & always” in there, although at this moment I can’t recall which phrase we used if it was “til death us do part” (think so) or “as long as we both shall live”… and that is because I was losing it in that moment… at our age… (over 50 & 60) the words Sickness, Health, Forever, Death and as long as we both shall live… have a lot more resonance than they do when you are marrying in your 20s !!

    Hope this helps,

     

    Post # 39
    Member
    1680 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @ladyamalthea:  I like the promise of “til death do we part” but I refuse to mention death. We’re saying “all the days of our lives”

    Post # 40
    Hostess
    3367 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    View original reply
    @Everdeen:  Oh yeah so do I! I just thought it sounded a lot better. But if anything were to happen to him, I would still love him even if I did re-marry. Ya know? 🙂

    Post # 41
    Member
    416 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We said “as long as we both shall live.” We’re young, so we have a lot of life left in us and we could be married for quite a while barring any drastic circumstances. We don’t have a problem with allusions to “forever” because we want to work at our marriage, not just give up when we’re tired of each other’s crap haha. 🙂 Divorce isn’t an option for us. The only way one of us would remarry is if the other passed away at a relatively young age.

    Post # 42
    Member
    6256 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I think it should be in vows. Why bother getting married unless you at least think theres a good chance you will make it as long as you can?

     

    EDIT: I thought you meant “until death do we part” as opposed to some of the less….permanent vows I’ve heard. Recently I was at a wedding in which the vows were “as long as love shall last.” I am not sure why, but it really rubbed me the wrong way.

    Post # 43
    Member
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I think we will keep it in.  Death is a part of life and my Grandmother is a widow – she and my grandfather had a very special marriage and death is what parted them.

    I think it’s nice to honor that.  Death do us part does not have to be morbid and put a cloud over things – it can be very nice.

    Post # 44
    Member
    3637 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    @PacificMrs:  Great point! I really like that sentiment. 

    Post # 45
    Member
    3637 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    @EffieTrinket:  Those are the worst vows EVER!

    Love can fade but work can bring it back. I’d almost be tempted to walk out of a wedding like that (but I wouldn’t), it’s kind of a mockery of marriage isn’t it? 

    Post # 46
    Member
    490 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @ladyamalthea:  I like “as long as we both shall live” but Fiance wants us to write our own vows :/

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