Post # 1
A lot of threads here on the bee about adults only weddings. I perfectly understand and respect adults only weddings. But do you have any negative reaction when you go to a wedding where the couple has decided to invite children? Does it change the experience as a guest?
I couldn’t imagine my wedding without my nieces and nephews. But it was a Sunday afternoon wedding, not an evening affair.
Post # 2
I don’t really like kids at all, unless I’ve had time to bond with them (like my nieces and nephew). But if they’re well behaved and don’t terrorize the place, I don’t care.
Post # 3
In my family and social circle weddings are family reunions. I’ve never been to a childfree wedding and hadn’t heard of them before WB. Kids always seem to have so much fun dancing and looking cute. I’m sure the couples who choose to have a childfree wedding have their reasons and I can respect that but I personally wouldn’t exclude certain members of a household and invite others.
Post # 4
I don’t mind kids but I don’t think they belong at a wedding. The last wedding I went to the kids were running through the crowd of people chasing each other. It was really irritating.
Post # 5
It depends on the kids. often the kids become a bratty nuisance and make the whole celebration annoying and distracting. Other times they are very well behaved and are sweet to have around. So if your nieces and nephews know how to behave in public then of course invite them too
Post # 6
Yep. The second I see kids at a wedding I instantly envision them getting in the way, knocking into people, and crowding the dance floor….and that’s usually what happens. Because I’m a wedding photographer, I attend more weddings in a year than people people do in a lifetime. I’ve seen every kind of wedding possible. Last night’s wedding was actually supposed to be no kids, and there were 2. One was a kid about 3 or 4 – he was ALL over the place. I had to ask the parents to remove him from the dance floor TWICE during introductions because he was in the way. Then he spent the night running circles on the dance floor while people were trying to dance.
I will say, my problem isn’t with kids at a wedding – it’s with the parents of the kids at a wedding. In a perfect world the parents would be attentive and constantly watching their kids. The reality (and sorry, but no matter how many bees want to argue it, I see it at every.single.wedding) is that they aren’t watching their kids. They’re too busy having a drink, chatting with friends, and dancing themselves. Kids aren’t bad, but they’re kids. They’re going to get into stuff.
From what I see of other guests when I’m shooting, is that the majority of irritation comes from the dancing portion of the reception. I’ve watched so many weddings end early because the dance floor is crowded with kids, so no one would dance and instead of hanging out they just left early.
Post # 7
if i am a guest at someone else’s weddingand they have kids, it doesn’t bother me bc its not my wedding! I chose not to have kids bc there were too many kids to invite and the venue charged $80 per child and I thought that was ridiculous for a meal they could get at a diner ot McDonalds for a fraction of the price (kids menu consisted of sliders, fries and chicken fingers-Sorry but Im not paying $80 for that)
Post # 8
I don’t mind either way as long as their parents are responsible. It really irks me when the MC announces that they’re about to do the speeches and would the parents please take the children that are running around back to their tables until the speeches are over…only to be completely ignored and the little brats are still left to run around making a whole bunch of noise while people are trying to talk. The speeches are my favourite part of a wedding because you get to hear nice stories. You laugh, you cry, as long as it doesn’t drag on forever then they’re generally really good. I’ve missed heaps of speeches because I couldn’t hear them over the kids’ screams. I’ve even been to a wedding where a few kids were running around during the couple’s first dance. I mean really? They only JUST made their entrance. Your kids couldn’t sit with you for 10 minutes? I don’t blame the kids, I blame the parents. Some parents take the “rare fun night out that’s free” thing a little too far. If you want a night off from your kids then find a babysitter so you can have a completely stress-free night. Just don’t bring them to an event and expect the wait staff to be babysitters and be so rude as to ignore the MC when he/she specifically asks for you to gather your children!!
Post # 9
Half the time, kids are the ones who get the dancing started.
Post # 10
My family and social circles have been having adult only weddings since I was in junior high school – the late 1960s, so it’s not a new phenomenon. We’re on the east coast U.S., surburban area, middle class – completely average folks.
If it’s daytime, outdoors, informal, some kids may be invited. I attend mostly formal, evening, indoor weddings where no one wants to pay $75 for a child to be served nuggets and fries at 9:00 PM.
My cousin’s daughter had her wedding at a day camp, and although kids weren’t not invited, only 2 came; a very well behaved 2 year old boy, and a bored 12 year old boy. Both families left early. What seemed like a child-friendly environment really wasn’t, because it didn’t start until 4:30, there was a creek, pond, swimmimg pool, archery, rock wall, woods, bonfire etc.; I’m guessing most parents didn’t wanted to spend their time chasing their kids.
There are always the odd family or two, with a narcissistic sense of entitlement, who thinks their family has to be invited as a whole, anywhere. They’re the ones who bully their kids onto the guestlist and then leave the kids’ meals untouched, and go up to the adult buffet line. We’ve just stopped inviting guests like that.
Post # 11
It really depends on how well behaved they are. I was at a wedding as a friend of the B&G (so I didn’t know their nieces/nephews) where the kids were running around during cocktail hour, bumping into people and eventually ended up breaking the bride’s champagne glass. In those kind of cases, yes, it changes my experience at a wedding.
Post # 12
I love going to weddings that are include children and have never, not even once, witnessed any of the disaster scenarios so feared by the people who post them here. To be fair, most people I know do not invite scores and scores of young kids, but children of close family members are almost always included in my circles.
Post # 13
If people want their wedding to be like Chuck E Cheese, then it’s not my place to judge that. Some people find kids playing on the dance floor endearing and that’s fine. I like kids. But I also like adult experiences. I would never dine at a place like Red Robin and be irritated by children. But if I’m out to dinner at a nicer restaurant on a Friday night at 8pm, it irritates me when people bring their kids and make a ruckus. Similarly, whatever vibe the bride and groom wants is ok with me. I’d be way less likely to partake in dancing with kids on the floor, but it’s not the end of the world.
Post # 14
Kids are just as much people as adults… I would never say that ”kids are a problem” at a wedding.. what’s a problem at a wedding is people who behave badly.. whether it’s a screaming child, drunk uncle Sam harassing people or greedy aunt Sue eating way more than her fair share of the buffet. Some people just don’t know how to behave and some parents don’t teach their kids how to behave. But there is no way you can generalize and say ”Kids at a wedding are a problem” or ”Kids at a wedding are cute..” It just depends on the people.
At my wedding, some of the kids were adorable, well behaved, didn’t get in anyone’s way and made the atmosphere better by just being there. However another kid acted like a spoilt brat, kept bothering people who were trying to eat and nearly knocked our wedding cake over.. while his mom was too busy drinking wine to care. So.. it just depends 🙂
Post # 15
- Wedding: November 2015 - California
I can’t say that I remember kids at either of the two weddings I’ve been too, so if there was any they were definitely behaved! I think it just depends on the children. If they’re rowdy and just cause trouble than it’s noticed. But at the same time if they’re on the floor dancing adorable than that’s remembered too.