(Closed) How do you feel about kids at someone else's wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 16
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2018

I love children. I can’t wait to have my own. I’m designated mom to several friends’ kids and even in their wills to take the kids if anything happened to them. With that said… 

 

I am not a fan of kids at weddings. Any weddings I’ve been to with kids have been disasterous from damages to injuries. (Dance floor + booze + kids is not a good mix) Not to mention the cost. They barely touch their food and you’re still paying full plate price. No way. 

 

Yes, the parents should be responsible but they’re usually with friends or with family they haven’t seen in a long time and I understand they want to have their fun too. But if they bring their kids, they should watch them as they would any other day.

 

I’ve even seen an instance where one kid was running around and knocked into the bride and she spilled wine on herself and ripped the bottom of dress. 

Post # 17
Member
770 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

It’s not the kids, it’s the parents. Kids willbe kids and want to play and run around with other kids that are there. Thats one of the things I love about children – that they’ll make friends with any other child around! But a wedding isn’t the place for that. So it’s the parents responsibilty to make sure they’re behaving themselves and not interuptting and wedding events. It’s one thing if they’re running around in the back of the room, it’s a totally different thing when they’re doing it on the dance floor.

Post # 18
Member
2193 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

All the weddings I have been to there have been children and none of them have behaved “out of line” as far as I was concerned. Of course there was some running around and a bit of noise but not excessively and not at inappropriate moments.

I think a lot of the time at weddings (and indeed other public places where it should be deemed “inappropriate”) it is more the parents handling of the situation and allowing their child to think their behvaviour is acceptable that’s the issue. Yes, it’s fine to run around and scream in the park but not in the middle of a wedding ceremony.

Post # 19
Member
4393 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
Sukii:  lol this. x100! 

..eta: I’m sure having to get a babysitter is an inconvenience but wouldn’t It bemmore of an inconvenience to have to watch ur kids all night while ur trying to hang with other adults and maybe have a few cocktails.. I feel like bringing kids would be a bigger hassle than finding a babysitter…?

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by Cheekie0077.
Post # 20
Member
481 posts
Helper bee

I disagree with kids at weddings unless they are older and obviously well behaved. A kid fooling with the sound system and/or getting in the way of professional photos can be unnerving. I do not think that babies belong at a wedding, for their own sake as well as for the guests’ and hosts’ peace of mind and enjoyment. Toddlers are too rambunctious, and anyway wouldn’t most kids be bored? I have never understood why people act like they are entitled to bring kids to a formal event. Even if it is not formal it is not always appropriate.

Post # 21
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

It depends on the type of wedding and how many children. I have only been to one wedding with children (other than bridal party children) and found it uncomfortable. They were there very late and running around (as children do). as the room was quite small they were banging into people. As the night went on some adults were very drunk and it seemed wrong. 

not all weddings will be like that though. If you want a party atmosphere I would say no to kids. If it’s a chilled afternoon affair then i would welcome children. 

Post # 22
Member
3655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I avoid children at weddings. Kids are fine and all and if I was at a park or the zoo I’d have no problem hanging out with them, but I don’t want to deal with them at weddings. It’s a different atmosphere. So I just try and stay away and avoid interacting with them if at all possible.

I’ve never been to a wedding where a kid has been out of control or parents had been inattentive so my feelings don’t stem from any bad experiences, it’s just my general view of the situation.

Post # 23
Member
391 posts
Helper bee

Almost all of the weddings I’ve been too are late night affairs with no children. This is what is normal for my friends/family.

The few I’ve been to with kids, I did not enjoy myself as much. The poor kids were tired and causing all sorts of disturbances. They ran around the dance floor, so I didn’t dance much. And at one of the weddings I left early because a young girl was throwing a tantrum and I didn’t care to listen to that for very long.

And while even if the kids are sweet and well behaved, I will admit that it interferes with the atmosphere as a guest. Because kids are uncommon at weddings in my circle, I react much in the way as if I went to a bar and their were kids running around. Daytime affairs or ones without the open bar are a different story all together. 

Post # 24
Member
4097 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

What scuzz ball looks back at their wedding pictures 20 years down the road and begrudges little Susie for OMG RUINING them with her malicious photo bombing? I mean really, your staged poses are not a reflection of your actual wedding. 

Post # 25
Member
6299 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
Aquaria:  Seriously? I can’t even tell you the number of beautiful candid moments (particularly first dances and parent dances) that have been ruined by kids running across the dance floor in the moment. How about the number of times the couple is trying to cut the cake and I can hardly wedge myself into a spot to take the cake cutting photos because I’m literally surrounded by kids salivating and thought of a slice of cake? This isn’t just kids – I’ve had amazingly tender moments ruined by Uncle Bob with his iPhone standing beind the couple during their first dance and there’s no way I can hide him. People really just have no sense of etiquette these days in general.

Post # 26
Member
4097 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

View original reply
starfish0116:  People don’t get married just for the pictures. I highly respect the art of wedding photography but the pictures don’t make or break the experience. 

Post # 27
Member
6299 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
Aquaria:  You’re right, the pictures might not make or break the expereince to you as a guest – but you don’t get to decide if they do to the couple. Last night’s wedding was supposed to have been child-free, and two guests brought their kids. One couple kept control of their kid, and left shortly after dinner. The other let their 4 year old run wild the whole night. He was constantly in everyone’s way – and basically took over the dance floor. It negatively reflected the guest’s experience because I heard most of them complaining about it throught the night. I don’t understand what is such a hard concept for a parent to keep their kid in check? It’s not appropriate to let your child run wild anywhere but a playground – especially not at an event that a couple has paid a significant amount of money to host.

Post # 28
Member
2274 posts
Buzzing bee

Love children. Made a career of working with and helping children. Have children. Waiting eagerly for grandchildren.

Children don’t belong at weddings. Weddings are adult celebrations celebrating adult events.

Children are children and should be allowed to BE children. Children should not be running on dance floors, sticking fingers into wedding cake or cheese dip, chasing newly found cousins, crying during vows or Best Man’s Toasts, or being restrained on parental laps when parents would prefer to be dancing or socializing with other adults.

And rare is the parent who does not spring his or her perfect child at the door of the reception, and if/when asked to contain said child does not say “Not MY little Lambsikins. He/she is PERFECRTLY behaved!

And in the right, child oriented setting, that is probably true, but NOT at a wedding!!!!!

Post # 29
Member
556 posts
Busy bee

Maybe it’s a european thing, maybe it’s a timing thing – weddings here are generally early afternoon going on until late at night – but the general view is that weddings are about joining 2 families, and that includes children. They are not seen as adult events. That said, it’s becoming increasingly common to see adult-only weddings as people move to having more formal, evening events  

As a wedding photographer too, I’m perfectly used to children running around and causing noise and activity. In a professional capacity, because most of the weddings I attend have children, I’m used to it and work around it. I can’t say it ever causes any issues. Children crowding round the bride and groom, wide-eyed at the cake, IS the photo. One I always try to capture is the mesmerised look of a flower girl as she gazes up at this beautiful princess-like lady.  (Uncle Bob on the other hand…..)

Children, especially girls, remember weddings they go to.  They go home, stick pillowcases on their heads and pretend to be the bride.  Weddings are important social rituals, and (personally) I couldn’t imagine excluding children.  

Equally though, I wouldn’t object to a no-kids wedding.  I’d still go if I had small children and couldn’t take them, it’s just not right for my wedding  

 

Post # 30
Member
2430 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

I am with you, but then again, I come from a big family, and kids are always the center of that.  We did an afternoon wedding too, and it was a casual garden party style, so I had a whole table set up with puzzles, coloring, bubbles, etc.  

I tend to gravitate towards kids, so for me, a wedding without kids can be somewhat boring.  I don’t drink and I’m not huge into dancing really, so when I go to a wedding I’ll often offer to hang out with the kids so their parents can have a night off.  Everything from sitting in the back of the church with the infant so I can duck out the door if they start crying, or playing with/entertaining small kids during dinner.  To me, this is more fun that sitting around and talking to a bunch of people I barely know… But then again, that’s mostly because the family members I enjoy are also always right there with the kids.  

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