How do you feel about pictures of family up around the house?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
10550 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have family pictures displayed in thier house. Hell, even when I lived in the dorms in college most of my friends had some pictures of family on thier desk or the wall. 

ETA: I don’t get what he find funny. It sounds like he’s being a jerk about it.

Post # 3
Member
47 posts
Newbee

I have photos everywhere. To me, life is about making memories with family and friends. There is nothing more important to me than time with those I love, and photos are mementos of those times. They make me feel good when I look around my house.

ETA: And the 5 generation picture is amazing! 

Post # 4
Member
11337 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
lizatola :  

He doesn’t have photos of his own children displayed?

He ridicules you for wanting to be able to exhibit pictures of people who are dear to you?

Your bf sounds like a real peach.

Post # 5
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

This would legit be a dealbreaker for me.  Does he have no soul? 

…I even have photos of my pets hanging around the house.  Framed 8x10s…

Post # 6
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

You dating Matt Damon in The Departed or something?  “You don’t see any pictures of where I came from. Look, I respect who you are. Just, you know, not in the living room. We might have company”

I get the aethetic preference from a home decor point of view, but the way you describe him teasing you for wanting pictures of your family around you…he comes off as coldhearted. 🙁 Maybe you could compromise and keep personal photos displayed in the bedroom or something? Or maybe he could get over himself and respect that this is important to you. 

Post # 8
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Malibou Lake Mountain Club

View original reply
lizatola :  im sorry but he is insensitive. He is not taking responsibility for his actions and its not okay. 

Post # 9
Member
10550 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

He sounds like an ass. Name calling is never acceptable. And he also sounds pretty controlling.

I get you moved into his home but if you don’t feel like you can make it an “our home” and just have to adapt to what he wants, you may want to reconsider living with him.

Post # 10
Member
2843 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Honestly, your boyfriend sounds like a dick hole. My Fiance and I definitely do not agree on home decor but we compromise so that we are both happy in OUR home. Photos are extremely personal. They represent everything that has happened in our lives and I would be miserable in a home without them. We have photos all around the house of everything from past pets to our engagement photos to deceased grandparents, our fridge is even covered with random pictures and photostrips. 

The fact that he made fun of you for something that you obviously see as important and then completely dismissed your reaction to his controlling behavior is the biggest red flag for me in your OP. Invalidating my emotions would be a dealbreaker for me. 

Post # 12
Member
921 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
lizatola :  I don’t personally like the aesthetic of family photos displayed in my home either. It isn’t a “not sentimental/heartless” thing, I just enjoy a more clean/modern aesthetic.  I think that I am so used to seeing modern advertisements for home decor and staged homes (that also excludes photos) that I don’t see that as an appealing concept. I also honestly have no real attachment to vintage 1980s photos of my SO’s mother, brother, or aunt and wouldn’t really want to stare at them in my house or feel like they needed to be on display when I had guests.  I would say that displayed family photos are less common in my circle and in houses I visit as well, with maybe the exception of a few wedding photos from newishly married couples. Or a featured “travel wall” of places people have visited. All other family photos/etc tend to be in the office/library area of the home that is a private workspace and not a guest area or main area of the home.

That said, I would NEVER treat my partner the way yours did you over the issue.  If people have two seperate visions of what home decor should look like, that is fine.  But it is not okay to behave in a demeaning or hostile way about it.  He needs to be an adult, not a bully. If he cannot manage to do that, then perhaps you should print a 40”x40” photo of his elementary school photo and display it as a feature “art piece” in your home to prove that he actually passed the 3rd grade and is capable of acting with a little civility. 

Post # 13
Member
506 posts
Busy bee

Maybe this makes me weird, but I love going to people’s houses and seeing photos on display. Whenever I’ve invited to a random party or my parents dragged me to one of their friend’s houses I loved to walk around the foyer or living rooms and admire the family photos on the walls. I think you really learn a lot about the person based on what they display, it just feels like a home. When I used to nanny I was always sad that this family had practically zero pictures of their children on display, the whole house felt so cold and lifeless. 

Post # 14
Member
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I don’t get why he’s being so weird about it?? Having family photos displayed is a super normal thing to do… and this is your house too now!

Post # 15
Member
3236 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I am very particular about what goes on the walls. I have photos by the stairs and all my frames match. My bestie has giant (think poster size) canvas prints of her family. To me it feels over the top but that’s a style difference. My husband doesn’t like photos. But, he would never stop me from hanging one or ridicule me for things I like. Your boyfriend’s age makes that behavior more concerning. 

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