(Closed) How do you feel about prenups?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Could it be more unromantic? All I have to say about that

Post # 17
Member
1053 posts
Bumble bee

There is no way my family would allow me to marry without a pre nup. 

No one plans on getting divorced, but divorces happen.

My grandfather built a legacy and there is no way my father would let that possibly fall into the hands of someone else. 

Post # 19
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

When they say youre “planning for a divorce” this is how i see it: In school you do fire drills. are you planning for a fire? No. you hope you never have to use those skills, and maybe you never will, but would you wanna find yourself in a fire at school & not have that planning that would have helped you?.. 

I would be for it but it wasnt necessary for us. 

Post # 20
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

My fiance and I make about the same amount of money and have similar net worth. However, I would have no problem signing a prenup if I was marrying someone with significant assets. I would much rather plan for a divorce when we are both happy and in love than when we are bitter and angry. 

Post # 21
Member
1812 posts
Buzzing bee

I have no issues with prenups. There is nothing wrong with protecting one’s self. Today’s society is big on romantic notions and putting others first but the best thing to do is to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. Nope, it’s not a popular position but a wise one, all the same. My Darling Husband and I discussed one before our marriage but we ended up not doing it for a few reasons. We are opting for an irrevocable trust instead. But if we had opted in, we wouldn’t have loved each other any less.

Post # 22
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee

Pre-nups seem kind of redundant to me. I think they make sense if one person is a business owner, but I thought that inheritances and assets prior to marriage are never included in a divorce settlement anyways, so what’s the point in having a signed agreement saying the same thing. Maybe it depends on the state? Or am I missing something?

 

Post # 23
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

kaitlynaubrey01:  Such a great anology. My Fiance bought up signing a prenup, and at first I was a little hurt by it. I think more than anything at the beginning of the relationship he was kind of against them. However, 4 years in and with having more intimate knowledge of my legal background, he said he is scared IF we were going to divorce I would take him to the cleaners. At this stage, I can never see us divorcing but I am blissfully happy, and cannot see noone else but him in my life. But, like you said I am planning if I have to use it. Even if I never have to use it. I 

Post # 24
Member
2454 posts
Buzzing bee

We won’t be getting one (as far as I know anyway, lol). But, if my fi did bring it up, I would not have a problem signing it. I understand wanting to protect yourself. I don’t see it is planning for a divorce, I mean if you don’t her divorced it is a useless price of paper anyway. I think it’s smart to protect yourself. 

Post # 26
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

People without experience with prenups see them as anticipation to future divorce. It would stress me out to get a prenup. I’d have to get a lawyer. It would be a big hassle and expense. I can see how you’d want to get one, though, if you’ve been burned in a past experience. 

Post # 27
Member
4823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

SunnierDaysAhead:   A prenup allows you and a future spouse to determine, on your own, how assets will be divided in the event of divorce.  Otherwise, a judge determines the distribution of assets.  It really is very simple.  Either you two decide, or a judge decides.  

Personally I found the discussions leading up to our prenup very interesting, and I felt my then-FI and I were much closer afterwards.  Being able to discuss finances with your partner is very important.

Post # 28
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Pro prenup. I’d have zero issues signing one. I have very little in terms of assets anyway. 

Post # 29
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Winery

I think they’re a good idea when both parties are in agreement and nobody feels like they’re being “forced” to sign one. I’m a family law attorney and I’ve seen legal bills near the 100k mark. I’m sure those people probably wish they had gotten one …

 

 

Post # 30
Member
341 posts
Helper bee

How is a prenup not planning, just in case of divorce? By its very definition it is an establishment of each spouse’s rights, with regards to assets, in case of a divorce. That means you have a plan in place, in case you divorce. It is a plan to make a neater way out of the marriage, just in case you happen to divorce, by its very definition. What else would a prenup be?

An emergency evacuation plan is a plan for how you are going to get out of a building, just in case an emergency happens (e.g. a fire). How is a prenup not analogous with regards to a marriage?

I’m genuinely confused as to your definition of a prenup.

MrsBuesleBee:  +1

My personal opinions are with MrsBuesleBee, but I also understand why some people choose to have prenups. I say, to each their own. 

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