(Closed) How do you feel about WOMEN (Strangers) messaging your man On the Reg?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 77
29 posts
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@BrideToBe14:  Is there anything about his profile that makes *him* look sketchy/potentially receptive to these women’s advances?  This isn’t accusatory; it’s just that I’ve never heard of this on LinkedIn (including from handsome doctor/lawyer types) and have used it a lot for business myself without encountering anything but networking.  Maybe if his profile seemed more professionally-focused, he wouldn’t get messages from trashy women?  Or change his profile picture–he doesn’t need to look like an Abercrombie model on his LinkedIn page (he probably SHOULDN’T look like an Abercrombie model on his LinkedIn page ;-).  

Post # 78
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

@BrideToBe14:  As long as he is not responding in an inappropriate way, and I assume he is not since you have control of it, then I wouldn’t worry about it. You can’t really stop them, other than to reply as him and say that you are married. And you don’t want to harm his business. The only reason it would bother me is, as I said before, he was responding inappropriately.

Post # 79
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@BrideToBe14:  well the responsibility starts with him. personally, i don’t set things up for my husband. he’s a man and a professional who is capable of marketing himself. i married a man who practices good judgment and i trust him.

i know that women from his past write to him all of the time on facebook even though his profile photo is a photo of him on his wedding day. lol but i don’t feel any kind of way because of the way he handles it. first, he doesn’t drag me into it. he doesn’t say thing things that will make me feel insecure or upset like “oh so and so wrote to me. and this other girl from high school. these women out here are relentless!” no. in his most charming way possible, he turns them down or plays like he’s oblivious to their advances in such a way that it’s a complete frustrating turn off to them.

second, he understands the purpose of a networking site like linkedin. if he connects to someone saying something inappropriate then he will probably use his good judgment and block them. why would anyone want to work with someone who is harassing them all day? so i don’t see any grandeous career moves coming from any of these questionable connections.

i don’t know if this is about you or some other married lady, but i suggest that this person look at her husband first before trying to control every loose woman out there. he’s a man in his level of maturity or else she wouldn’t have married him. so she should look at the way he treats her and the way he makes decisions.

Post # 81
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@BrideToBe14: You know how you wrote that one of the girls photos “looks like an escort pic”? I just realized, it totally could be! If I were an escort I would HARDCORE use Linkedin to find successful/rich clients. That’s pretty freakin smart.

So, just delete the obvious non-client ones and let him look at the “possible clients/colleagues one.” Some women may use their femininity as an “in”  – it’s not about the guy, it’s about furthering their career. They may still deserve a shot at a job though.

Post # 84
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I like your idea of adding a “this profile is professional purposes only. Please contact me if you are interested in…” to his bio. Maybe that would get randoms to stop with with the inappropriate messages. But I’m willing to bet they are seeing his pic, his profession and just going from there. It’s pretty sad, really.

If it were me, I would tell my DH that this was upsetting me and see what he thinks about it. Hopefully you two could come to some agreement on how to handle the profile.

My husband is a young, handsome, (if I don’t say so myself! 😉 pastor. You wouldn’t believe some of the inappropriate comments he gets sometimes. 

Post # 85
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@BrideToBe14:  Since this is LinkedIn, it sounds more like a spam problem.  I’d flag the messages and move on.

Post # 86
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Well, I’m guessing if your Fiance is a doctor, these women are probably searching that term and that’s how they’re finding him.

My Fiance is on Linknin.  He runs his family’s restaurant so he has a picture of the restaurant in his profile.  He also has a unisex name so that helps keep the riff raff away. Wink

What if your Fiance changed his profile so it was just his first initial and his last name in addition to putting a random scenery photo up?  I just made my profile because I’m looking for a job and I have a landscape type photo, not my actual picture.  I bet he gets a lot less weird requests that way!

Post # 87
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

We share a laugh over each girl and he ignores them (deletes the message). If they are a particularly persistent stalker he will block them (if the service allows it).

People don’t usually use linkedin to hit on him though, for some reason it’s usually facebook.

By The Way, it’s the exact same thing, vice versa (when I get unwelcome messages from strange men).

ETA: Neither of us ever accept connection requests from strangers. I’m sure it’s not necessary for his career that he does that! Make sure you know who you’re adding!

Post # 88
9799 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

It wouldn’t bother me as long as he was ignoring the messages and not responding to things like that.

Post # 89
3422 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Zhabeego:  Well said! who trolls LinkedIn for ass?!

Post # 90
3065 posts
Sugar bee

@BrideToBe14:  I would think yeah he may flattered, but I don’t think SO would find a woman using a professional networking site as a dating site very attractive. That seems kinda desperate.

Go on POF ladies! If he is not bothered by it I would stay out of it.

If you have control I would just ignore the creepy ladies.

Post # 91
483 posts
Helper bee

I agree with a PP, you cannot control what others do. However, you can control how you respond. I would just delete the messages and ignore them.


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