- 9 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
Ours is now over the 40k mark….which I know sounds extravagant. But it really isn’t. We both have HUGE familes (120 people on our guest list are close family), and the kicker is that we’re having 2 nights of weddings. We’re two different religions–he’s hindu and I’m christian–and it was important to both of us that we have the kind of wedding we grew up with and that our family/friends identify with, so we decided to do both.
We’re paying for everything ourselves (although both my mom and his parents have offered to each pay for 1 small thing, which is sweet). But, as is the case with some other bees, our weekend wedding is still only costing us 1/4 of our annual salaries together, so in that context, I don’t think it’s extravagant at all. There are several things I could have done without, that his culture/family considers a *must have*. Hindu weddings are typically huge affairs, so ours is relatively modest. I’m DIYing my centerpieces and bouquets, scouring the internet for the best deals on buying linens that we can resell rather than renting, and bought my gown used online (score!). We’re ordering invitations from india, so they are cheaper, and we’re going with a budget photographer and DJ. Even our food is pretty cheap and casual–we’re having indian food the first night and Tex-Mex the second night.
It’s just that have 2 weddings in a big city is going to be pricey. We have to pay for 2 nights in a venue, 2 dinners, 2 of some decorations (like the hindu Mandap, which is WAY more expensive than we thought it would be), 2 days for a photographer, etc. etc. We both had a moment where we freaked our about the cost…well honestly, I still freak out about the cost. But when we sat down and looked at our expenses, there was nothing we could cut back on more than we already have. In their culture, it’s considered rude if you DON’T serve food at a wedding, and give a favor (they have a traditional cake in a box they give out), and hire the hindu musicians for the ceremony, so we really couldn’t cut those things. And then we both agreed it would be strange to have a dinner after the hindu ceremony, but not have a dinner after the american ceremony, which will be on a Saturday evening. So, it’s too late for us to back out now!
I’m not even counting the honeymoon or our rings….OMG…honestly, I don’t even want to thing about the cost. Luckily, we’re able to pay cash! Even if it’s by me scrimping and saving and buying used. =) Also, we’re both 32 and well established in our careers. FI was able to buy my ring with his yearly bonus and still have $$ left over, and he’s in line for another big promotion soon, so I don’t feel *too* guilty about it.
But definitely before meeting him, I also thought I would be one of those brides spending $5,000 on a small wedding in my parent’s back yard. I’m one of 6 kids and I’m the ONLY kid to not have a cheap, backyard or church wedding. But with my Fiance, that just wouldn’t have worked. But I have him, so I don’t regret it for a minute.