Post # 1
I’ve heard enough talk lately about people online and some of my engaged friends who have talked about upgrading, and I was wondering, just out of curiosity, what the public opinion is on upgrading. The thought of upgrading makes me sad, because I think it would (for me, at least) show my guy that I didn’t appreciate what he gave me. However, I was very specific on the type of ring (style, minimal quality, metal, etc.) so I had the opportunity to get pretty much what I wanted given the financial constraints we’ve received in the last year. I’ve always figured that the bigger diamonds or the ample diamonds can come into play with an enhancer or an anniversary band. Not saying that’s the way it should be for all, just my honest opinion 🙂 I know that everyone has different opinions and that’s why I’m asking this question – I love bringing different viewpoints to the table.
What’s your opinion? Can’t wait to discuss 🙂
Post # 3
@cmvmph: I agree with you. The thought of “upgrading” generally makes me sad, too, especially if it’s right after the wedding! I guess the exception is if the e-ring is given with the explicit intention of its being a starter ring, with an upgrade down the road. But this would all have to come from my FI/DH….I honestly don’t think I would ever bring up the idea of an upgrade myself! As you say, I’d go with the engagement band / baby band thing over the upgrade. To me, the engagement ring is so special because it’s what he actually proposed with, and it’s symbolic not only of our commitment but of that particular time in our lives. I wouldn’t want to change it for anything. (Of course, I was lucky and got a beautiful e-ring that I love, so…. all this is easy for me to say!)
Post # 4
I’m kind of iffy on it, I think it depends on the situation. I really don’t want to ask for an expensive ring, and it’s not a matter of big diamonds to me but just materials that will last forever that are a bit out of our reach. The sentimental part of me would like to think that the ring your Fiance proposes with should be the ring you wear forever, but the practical part sees that financially it can be tough to get something you like aesthetically in the quality you need. So I’m torn. But what other people do is not really my concern anyway. I just hope that girls are nice to their husbands when they ask for an upgrade.
Post # 5
Never gonna happen. It just wouldn’t be my ering if I upgraded…
Post # 6
No – I picked out my ring because I loved it and knew it would stand the test of time for my now likes, and something I could love forever. I understand ring upgrades if you cannot afford a quality ring at the start, but even so why settle for something you just want to upgrade soon after? I think my Fiance would be pretty bummed if in 5 years I wanted a “bigger, shiner, diamond” as he really saved and worked hard to get me the one I have now, and I love it because he did that
Post # 7
I think as long as you’re both okay with it, it’s no big deal. What you have to remember is that some guys don’t spend months picking out a ring or saving up for one. My husband had nothing when he proposed to me. 🙂 I was so happy to marry him, that was the real gift to me (not to mention he had already been supporting me for a year at that point!). We picked out a ring together, I actually paid for both of our original rings. So it was no biggie to us to consider upgrading later. I know quite a few Bees on here have gotten married with temporary sterling rings with the understanding that they would upgrade later (sometimes years later) as funds allowed. Not everyone has the perfect, by the book engagement.
I can totally understand being sentimental though, I’m that way about a lot of things.
Post # 8
For my parents’ 27th anniversary, my father bought my mother a bigger, better quality diamond solitaire. I don’t know if they discussed it or not, but he said she had always deserved a diamond like this one, and now that he can afford it, he got it for her as a reminder that he would marry her all over again.
Post # 9
I don’t care if someone upgrades their ring, to each their own.. But I can’t imagine upgrading mine! I’m totally sentimental about stuff like that though. I really love my ring, it’s basically my dream ring… But are there times that I look at it and think “it would be just that much better if it had this” or whatever, usually when it’s dirty lol… But then I look at it again and fall in love with it all over again. 🙂 No upgrades for this girl! 🙂
Post # 10
eh, at the end of the day it’s still just an object. I understand the sentiment behind it, so as your relationship grows why not pick a stone that reflects that, if it’s what you really want?
Post # 11
I dont like it. But honestly, I might change my mind about it in 20 years so we’ll see then
Post # 12
The thought of upgrading makes me sad as that is ring/stone that my DH picked out for me. Saying that i got my dream ring with good size centre diamond. I’m might feel differently if i didnt get what i really wanted or my diamond was smaller.
Post # 13
I love upgrades. I was engaged with no ring, then a 10k gold CZ, then finally after 5 years of marriage and motherhood, I received a beautiful sapphire. My husband wanted to give me the ring he thought best reflected me and our marriage. If couples evolve and your husband wants to make it happen, why can’t your ring evolve as well?
Not all of us got our dream ring when we got engaged you know!
Post # 14
I agree, I don’t think I could bring myself to change my e-ring. If he buys, or I buy for myself, entirely new rings, that would be great! But my e-ring is just too special to me to want to change the way it looks. “Upgrading” it won’t upgrade the meaning behind it. 🙂
Post # 15
I have a beautiful ring that would fit the standards of a lot of people’s “dream ring” as far as diamond size, quality, etc… but, I did not pick it out and honestly, not what I would have if I had been given the opportunity. That being said, as much as I know my Fiance would let me change it (I wouldn’t really “upgrade” because I think the center stone is plenty of diamond for me), I just can’t bring myself to do it because it’s not what he picked out. And I remind myself a ring is not worth it to be upset about, especially when I have something that I know is of both great physical and symbolic value. Therefore, I will choose a band I love, and probably ditch the engagement ring (more practical in my field any way) on a daily basis and bring it out for special occassions.
Post # 16
I told my fiance that I love my ring and it’s perfect for me, but if I ever upgraded it would be because I plan on passing my ring down to a child to keep it in the family. I would love to be able to do that for one of my children and releve them of that financial burden.