Post # 1
You ladies have been such a help that I’m back with another question!
My Boyfriend or Best Friend has been looking at a lot of rings lately. I’m not getting my hopes up (and am trying to attribute it to curiousity), but I’ve still been offering bits of feedback to him JUST in case.
One thing I’ve requested is that I would prefer a used ring from Craigslist, or even a pawn shop. I just can’t fathom him ever spending the kind of money he’s looking at on a ring. The cheapest ring that he has liked has been around $3500; that is about 1/4 of his yearly salary, and considering we are both 20 and living with his parents, that is absurd to me.
I have found rings just as beautiful (with authentication/receipts/some have warranties) on Craigslist for less than $1,000. He refuses to look that direction. My best friend agrees with him, saying that used rings are “cursed.”
So, how do you ladies feel about a “used” ring?
Post # 3
I’m cool with used rings as long as it didn’t belong to one of his previous fiances lol
Post # 4
I’m fine with used rings.
I don’t get the “cursed/history you may not know” thing. 1. I don’t believe in magic so I don’t think bad feels can get magically stuck to a ring or something. 2. A ring that old could easily have been worn by a woman who was happily married for fifty years until she or her spouse kicked the bucket. 3. A ring could have been sold for any number of reasons that aren’t bad. 4. Magic still isn’t real. 5. Do you also say you shouldn’t adopt a kid because the bad luck might stick to the orphans? No. You generally think it’s nice to give something that may have been unloved a good home.
So take that old ring and give it a good home.
Post # 5
I don’t think “used” rings are cursed, that’s silly :p. there are so many beautiful vintage rings I would looove to own. just because its used doesnt mean it comes from a horrible marriage. I think it’s smart way to go if you want to save money.
Post # 6
I think used rings are a great way to save money as long as the diamond isn’t chipped or scratched! I love antique jewellery so I certainly don’t mind wearing anything pre-loved.
Post # 7
i wouldn’t mind if it was used as long as it wasn’t an ex-fiancee’s or belonged to one of his relatives.
Post # 8
I think used rings are OK, the only problem with Craigslist/pawn shops is you’ll never know if the ring is stolen or not. Where I live if someone steals from you and pawns it nothing can be done other than the owner buying their belongings back from the pawn shop. Can you imagine if you bought something from a pawn shop that was stolen? ah I honestly dont know what would happen if the owner found out someone bought their stolen goods.. Pawn shop owners don’t usually ask where the goods they buy come from. that’s the only problem I see.
Post # 9
@prettyinpink11: Thats a good point; many of the Craigslist ad’s I have seen are willing to meet at the jeweler’s, which I hope would provide some safety net to ensure it has not been illegally obtained. But that is a great point!
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
I think there are smart ways and dumb ways to obtain pre-owned rings, and as long as you are not dumb about it, I think it is an awesome idea. As long as it’s not from his previous loves, go for it. If you have to have something unique to you as a couple, you can always mix and match a pre-owned setting with a pre-owned stone. Just for everyone’s sake, get it authenticated. I’d be very hesitant of a craigslist ring, but a well established pawn shop could be a good starting point.
Post # 11
As long as it isnt an ex of his, i dont care!! Even if you do believe history attaches to a ring, many of them could just be from a lady who upgraded, etc.
Post # 12
What ring you get isn’t going to determine how you live your life with your SO.
My “used” pretties:
The e-ring center stone is from the engagement ring from my MIL’s first marriage. The band is from a pawn shop. I saved about $400 on it because it was used. I get compliments on it all the time!
Post # 13
Haha as a PP said, I’m fine with a used ring as long as it isn’t one he used to propose previously!
You can get some great deals on some wonderful rings and stones, as long as you are smart about it. It depends whether you can find one that you love, though, since they come as they are!
Post # 14
I feel fine about them. I just bought a wedding band from the 1920s, it arrived yesterday I ‘ve been wearing it and so far what’s happened is SO and I have loved the way it looks on me. The only bad thing that has happened is that I’ve looked at more antique rings and want them too. I don’t believe these things are cursed although I know other people (family and friends) can be a bit unhelpful with their comments about preowned rings.
I say go for it but use your judgement when buying to make sure you make the right purchase for you. *That’s* what you should be focused on.
Post # 15
@Meglin: Metal and stones are just that….metal and stones. Their impact doesn’t change no matter who has or has not owned them before. I don’t think there is any substantial evidence anything like a curse actually exists, at all. There is, however, quite a bit of evidence that money-related issues are a major contributing factor to marital dischord and divorce.
Honestly I would want this guy to be capable of supporting himself without mommy and daddy paying the bills before i ever considered wearing any engagement ring from him, preowned or not. The fact he is making under 15k a year and would even consider spending anything of note on an engagement ring does not exactly say viable life partner to me. Doesn’t mean he never will be, I would just want to see him display self-sufficiency and responsible money management/decision making before I agreed to have him as a husband.
Post # 16
I don’t believe in spirits or omens or anything supernatural. It’s just a ring… I don’t care if it cursed over every day for 20 years, it’s just a piece of metal and rock, it has no memory. A beautiful ring at a good price is not tainted by a history. (It can be made kind neat by an interesting one, but not because of anything supernatural, just because it’s cool.)