How do you feel about your man going to strip clubs?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: How do you feel about your man going to a strip club?
    I don't care at all : (66 votes)
    30 %
    I'd prefer if he didn't but it's fine : (72 votes)
    33 %
    I hate it but he still goes : (0 votes)
    He is forbidden to go to strip clubs : (80 votes)
    37 %
  • Post # 2
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I can’t vote because none of the options apply to me. I don’t “forbid” him from going- he knows I’m not comfortable with them and he doesn’t go. However, he doesn’t avoid them because I don’t like them- he genuinely doesn’t want to go (and its not the type of thing his friend group does anyways- they are more gamer-types). If he desperately wanted to go to one for a bachelor party or something (although I can’t ever see this happening- he banned them for his own bachelor party and I can’t imagine any of his friends wanting to go to one), I’d let him go. I know that he wouldn’t do anything inappropriate. 

    Post # 3
    3545 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 29th, 2016

    countingstars :  He hasn’t while we’ve been together. He had gone in the past for bachelor party festivities but never because he just wanted to. So it’s not something I worry about, thankfully. 

    Post # 4
    724 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2020

    Yeah I agree with PP. I don’t “forbid” he go, but he knows it would hurt my feelings and so he doesn’t. He also says he’s not interested. There’s nothing dramatic about it.

    Post # 5
    9630 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

    I don’t care and my feelings don’t get hurt. BUT, I wouldn’t want him getting a lap dance, simply because I don’t want OUR money being spent on something like that. Like I would prefer we have a decent sit down meal together than him spending the same amount on a meaningless lap dance. I guess that’s my perspective on it.

    If he goes for bachelor parties and just spends his money on drinks or a friend pays for a lap dance I couldn’t care less. He went to a strip club for his own bachelor party and seemed extremely underwhelmed. He’s also been to other’s bachelor parties where they had paid for dancers to come to the house…. and let’s just say that was a LOT LESS tame than a strip club. Like the things that the groom did (and hid from his now-wife) are pretty damn shameful, and if she knew I’m 99% sure she wouldn’t have gone through with the wedding (I’m off on a tangent now…)

    Post # 6
    1552 posts
    Bumble bee

    I dont see the appeal of strip clubs at all (paying to have women pretend to like you tease you in public and you dont get to touch them or finish anything?). My husband doesnt see the appeal either and has never been. It seems to be more common in the US than where were from anyway. If he was invited for someones bachelor party I wouldnt care, he would probably feel more awkward about it than me (because whats more awkward that being hard in public staring at a beautiful naked woman you cant touch- being hard in public with your friends). I dont see the appeal of male strippers for women either. It seems like a waste of money. I wouldn’t forbid him from doing anything, but strip clubs are weird to me and I would prefer he didnt go.  

    Post # 7
    1221 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - -

    I think I’d be cool with it if we went together. I’d be upset if he wanted to go all the time. He has a couple friends who tried to get him to go with them, but he told them no several times. I think he’s really uncomfortable with the idea. I’ll ask him now and again to see if his opinion has changed, if he feels he hasn’t experienced a certain “rite of passage.” But he always tells me if his friends make him go for his bachelor party, he’d sit at the bar with a beer to watch whatever’s on TV while his friends waste their cash. I’m pretty sure he’s just gonna want a LAN party. Lol

    I asked him if he’d be cool with it if I went to a strip club and he said, “With girls?”

    “No, a male strip club.”

    “Then no.”

    “Most of the dancers are gay!”

    “But you’re not!” Lol

    Post # 8
    748 posts
    Busy bee

    So, I’m totally against going to strip clubs – myself. It’s something I’ve always been against and am proud to have never gone to. 

    I was in Vegas once, and my girlfriends wanted to go because they had never been. I decided to stay in the hotel room and not join them in this activity. Personally, I find it gross. 

    However, my Fiance has been to strip clubs with his ex girlfriend when he was younger and will be going during his bachelor party. Does it bother me? More so, grosses me out.

    It’s not a regular activity, so I’m okay with it, but have voiced how trashy and gross I think it is. 

    At the end of the day, everyone is different and has different views, I’m more of a prude when it comes to these things. 

    I feel like going to a strip club is like going grocery window shopping, some stuff looks good, but in the back of your mind you know it’s a foodborne illness waiting to happen. 

    Post # 9
    1300 posts
    Bumble bee

    “I am not paying someone for blue balls.” 

    That’s how my husband feels about strip clubs. I wouldn’t care if he goes but lap dances are my line. 

    Post # 10
    5003 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2018

    If he really wanted to go for his bach party, sure, fine, whatever. I wouldn’t love it, but I wouldn’t hold it against him. He’s been before – before we even met – and has no desire to go again, though. 

    Post # 11
    146 posts
    Blushing bee

    None of the options really apply. I don’t “forbid” him, however looking at naked women is not acceptable for a relationship I’m in and would be a deal breaker. He knows that. He and I share an understanding of what’s acceptable within our relationship and I wouldn’t be in a relationship where that was a point of contention.

    Nobody should ever be in a relationship where they are being asked to compromise on their bottom line of acceptable relationship conduct, whatever that may be.

    Post # 12
    1981 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

    I couldn’t care less if Darling Husband goes to one when he is on a stag do. However, my friend is a stripper and she tells me how they try and get the men to spend more money. It’s her part time job, she’s also a yoga teacher and has a fiancé so probably because of what we’ve  learned through her we don’t view strippers in the way as some people do.Darling Husband knows I’m not ok with private dances. My friend has a lot of men that pay her just to sit and chat. I’d be more hurt by that than my Darling Husband giving them money to dance.

    Post # 13
    9681 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I don’t really care but he also has no interest so it’s never really come up as an issue for us.

    Post # 14
    14947 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    He’s not the type to just go on a regular basis and gets off on it (I’m not sure I’d be ok with being with someone like that, so I’d just not be with someone who is into it rather than try to be with him and “forbid” it), so for the occasional bachelor party or whatever, I don’t care.  Last year on a business trip his flight got cancelled and he told me he and his coworker went just for the hell of it, and I dont really care, looking at a few random barely dressed women for an hour or two doesnt constitute cheating in our books.  We can see just as much nudity on beaches in Europe.  Our only “rules” about physical cheating are no swapping fluids and/or doing anythign that could result a STD.

    Post # 15
    672 posts
    Busy bee

    My feelings get hurt, and it makes me feel less attractive.

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