Post # 106
My FH has been to strip clubs and been at bachelor parties where a dancer is hired, but he’s never the instigator, so I never worry about it. He’s expressly decided he DOESN’T want that for his bachelor party, which I didn’t prompt at all – I’m having a stereotypical vegas-style bachelorette where we might go to a burlesque show or something, so there was no demanding or insisting on my part, he just specifically told his buddies “let’s do a golf weekend/ski trip/camping trip”. If they do surprise him with a stripper, I’m sure he’ll tell me.
I’ve also been to a bachelorette party where we hired a stripper, and it was WAY more played for comedy / fun than actual sexuality. It was about 30 minutes and it was really goofy and fun! I wouldn’t hate it for my own.
In general, this just isn’t an issue in our relationship. But if my Fiance was super into strip clubs then maybe it would be? Like if he wanted to go all the time outside of a rare bachelor party I might take umbrage.
By The Way my mom just told me a story where my dad when he was younger would go on a yearly trip with like 25 of his buddies to opening day of a baseball game and then a strip club. One of the guys had lied to his wife about it and told her they were white water rafting, and then when they weren’t home late at night, the woman was downright frantic and called my mom at 3 in the morning terrified (this was before cell phones). My mom obviously had no idea this guy had lied to his wife and was just like, “Oh don’t worry about it, they’re probably still at the strip club!” LOL. Guess who’s no longer friends with my parents? haha. I guess my point is, when you have a group of guys doing a relatively normal “guys night out” kinda thing, I don’t want to be the wife/girlfriend to say no and add “temptation” to the whole concept. I feel like it’s just a recipe for creating opportunities to lie.
Post # 107
KittyYogi : I never thought I would like male strip club (men dancers), but we went to one in Vegas for my friend’s bachelorette party. It was definitely more fun than a female one. Lol. They make it more fun. The men were actually doing dance routines and made it a show. The lap dance was definitely a waste of money. It was a joint club, so once you walk out of the male dancers room and go to the other with the female dancers, you could feel the huge change in atmosphere. The lively side vs sit and stare lame one, lol.
Post # 108
I can say with 100% certainty that no, my Fiance is not lying when he says he’s not interested in strip clubs. In the 14 years we have been together, he has not been to one. He has been to plenty of stag parties and guys nights and none of them have ever ended up with a visit to the peelers. His friend group would rather go camping or just have a house party, with wives and girlfriends.
Post # 109
Strip clubs are definitely against the boundaries of our relationship. My Fiance will not be going to one for his bachelor party and I would encourage him to skip out on attending bachelor parties for his friends where strip clubs will be the focus of the evening. We talked about this when we first started dating and the subject of bachelor parties came up. We both agree that lap dances or any type of similar interaction with strippers is definitely cheating. He knows that if that ever were to happen, regardless of circumstances, our relationship is over.
An acquaintence of ours in college used to talk about going to the strip club and doing sex acts with the strippers. We both thought this guy was kind of scummy and him bragging about this at parties definitely didn’t help his case. To me, places where anything from lap dances to sex for money may be going on are not places where men in committed relationships should be hanging out.
Post # 110
I go to female strip clubs with my male friends once every few months. Sometimes my husband tags along. If he does he is free to have fun.
We have trust.
Post # 111
I don’t love the idea… but I trust him. Plus it’s not really his scene anyways. He has only been during bachelor parties. I’d draw the line at lap dances though. Look but don’t touch k thx
Post # 112
I guess I just don’t understand why anyone else cares what someone else does in their relationship or why they feel the need to put their boundaries onto everyone else and say things are gross.
You know what is gross to me, the kind of attitude that calls other people pathetic or gross for liking things sexually that they don’t.
The language that is used around topics about strippers and sex workers on the bee makes me sick. I did my thesis on the adult entertainment industry so spent a lot of time in those businesses and I volunteer with an organisation that works with sex workers and I can tell you most of them are far less judgemental and kinder people than the average person ragging on them and their profession in online forums.
Post # 114
I’m not crazy about strip clubs in general but I have gone twice with my fiancé over the four years we’ve been together. I wouldn’t mind if he went to a bachelor party every blue moon. I would be concerned if he started going by himself or all the time.
Post # 115
j_jaye : I agree with you on this. Most dancers are lovely people just trying to make a living. One of our close female friends and her mother run a club and they are just the sweetest ladies.
And I have to say, I would trust the girl who runs the club alone with my husband before I would trust some of the more “socially acceptable” female acquaintances we know.
Post # 116
j_jaye : I wish I could give this more thumbs up. Well said!
Post # 117
j_jaye : i agree that some of the posts are not cool ‘hoes on a pole’, and I’m all for legalizing sex work and doing whatever job they want. That doesn’t mean I think it’s appropriate for MY husband to pay them for sex/taking clothes off/grinding on him. So just because some people don’t want it for their relationship doesn’t mean we don’t still support the women and want safe work for them.
Post # 118
I couldn’t care less, honestly. But that might just be because he has shown no real interest in going. We’ve gone to the strip club together and had a ton of fun. He’s never gone alone while we’ve been together. However, his bachelor party is coming up, so who knows but I’ve told him I really don’t care whether he goes or not.
Post # 119
lavieenviolette : I used to go to strip clubs A TON in college and I can tell you that most of the time the strippers do more than strip. It’s lkme a downward spiral in morals. First showing boobs a butt for money, next oral then full on sex. So sad
Post # 120
j_jaye : well I don’t tgink highly of them but I would defend them if they were being like abused or harassed. I can not agree with their line of work and still want them to be safe. But opinions are just opinions