(Closed) How do you feel when someone else gets engaged?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

totally understand! im engaged and wedding is july 2011 and when my sister texted me she got engaged in feb i was happy and sad inside. my mom had a message up asap and people are commenting to me about it i felt kinda sad that my wedding is almost here but we are all talking about my sisters engagement now.

Post # 4
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Now that Im engaged it doesn’t bother me but before he “put a ring on it” it was crushing, especially when it was a couple who had been together for a matter of months. There I was, 5 years into my relationship with no ring yet FB friend Susie had been seeing her boyfriend for 6 months and just got engaged. Talk about infuriating!

Post # 6
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SandAndSea: I don’t blame you, I felt the same way. Just know that your marriage will be that much stronger because you know your SO inside and out. At 6 months into a relationship, you’re still in that lovey dovey stage when everything seems perfect. It takes time to really get to know a person and experience the things that couples should experience before getting married. Fiance and I will be celebrating 6 years in May and we’ve lived together almost that entire time. I’m STILL learning things about him. 

At around the 4 year mark in our relationship we set up one of my best friends with one of FI’s best friends. 6 months later they were engaged and 6 months after that they got married. Now THAT was hard. We were both in the wedding and I can’t even explain how difficult it was to put a smile on my face when I was crushed inside. Everything worked out in the end (we’ll be married in just under 7 months) but the few years leading up to our engagement were especially tough on me. 

Stay strong and just know what your SO loves you and wants to marry you. Men are dumber than we are. It takes them longer to catch on!

Post # 7
Member
1851 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

It totally depends on the situation. If it’s someone who has been together the same amount of time as us or less, I get a bit green eyed. I absolutely act thrilled though. If it’s someone who has been together for a long time though, I am genuinely happy without any jealousy. It’s stupid but I just can’t help it. I think that after we’re engaged I’ll just be happy for everyone else who gets engaged. Then I’ll probably get jealous if anyone gets married before us. lol

Post # 8
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve never felt anything but happiness, actually. There have been a few engagements that I did question though. And guess which of those marriages are now being questioned? mmmhmmm. It depends on the couple–but for people who actually love each other and should be married, I’m nothing but thrilled.

Post # 9
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I get honestly happy to see my friends happy.  Not always the case for me…

One friend didn’t even say congratulations or ask to see my ring.  Than it was just uncomfortable to talk about weddings.  No fun.

Post # 10
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

I get really happy for them. Then I think, ‘I can’t wait till I get to experience it myself’! I know my time will come but right now its their turn in the spotlight. 

Post # 11
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Honestly? I get super bitter. I act happy, and the more I act happy for them the more happy I actually am for them.. However, I’m dying to plan my wedding without people thinking I’m desperate just because he hasn’t given me a ring yet LOL! We are already 100% committed even though we’re not married.

Part of it is also because I’ve had financial issues, and I get jealous that they can even afford a wedding at this point, and that they’ll have cheaper car insurance/living expenses being married and living together. I think more than being jealous that they’re being legally recognized as a couple is this. It’s that they’ll have a break on stuff and be getting gifts and everything and in the meantime, I’m struggling to make ends meet.

Well, that was honestly a revelation. Hahaha.

 

ETA: I did, however, have a really hard time with one friend’s engagement. J and I had been going through a really rough time. I felt unimportant, we were getting in fights a lot, and I was getting to the point of being ready to walk away. We’d just had a HUGE fight when I found out she was engaged. She texted me and I just sobbed. I felt terrible because she and I used to discuss weddings all the time, and here she was seeing her dream come true and I thought mine was falling apart before my eyes. I didn’t even text her back until a few days later when I apologized for being such a crappy friend!

Post # 12
Member
253 posts
Helper bee

I get really excited when I know someone who gets engaged. I really just love weddings so any chance to hear of wedding plans or something gets me excited. I don’t tend to feel bitter or jealous or sad at all because I know eventually my day will come. 

 

Post # 13
Bee
6473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

I used to get crushed. Like, seriously crushed. We were together for almost 7 years before Mr. Jaguar finally proposed – and then we’ll have been engaed for another two on our wedding date, so seeing all the (what feels like) millions of quicky engagement and weddings of friends and family and facebook friends… well, it sucks. I feel like we’re one of the first couples who met, and the last to be wed.

But I try to remember that everyone’s timelines are different – and to focus on the fact that it happened when it happened FOR US.

Post # 14
Member
304 posts
Helper bee

girl, we all feel ya! even if i don’t know the person i get jealous! in fact, my boyfriends sisters wedding is coming up in april, and i am dreading going. i just know it will be hard to go to a wedding being as anxious as i am about waiting for a proposal =-(

Post # 15
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m always happy for my friends when they get engaged.

Post # 16
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m always excited and happy for the couple because I know what it’s like to have found the person you want to be with forever, and I’m just so happy for them that they’ve found the same thing. I also get excited because, hey, I get to go to another wedding, and I just generally love weddings!

But then there’s the slight bitterness and jealousy, but honestly I try to keep that in check because their engagement is not about me/has nothing to do with me. I think it’s easier for me now though because I know a proposal is coming sometime soon, so I am able to be more patient…but last year when SO texted me to tell me his cousin (who had been with her SO for as long as J and I) had gotten engaged I was seriously butthurt.

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