(Closed) How do you feel when your FI is away?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: I added a poll! When my SO/FI/DH goes away, I....

    Feel totally normal and dont miss him at all

    Feel totally normal but miss him

    Feel like something is missing/dont feel quite like myself

    Am an emotional wreck, I hate hate hate it!

    My FI never goes away and I am glad

    My Fi never goes away but I wish he would....girl time!!

    Other

  • Post # 32
    Member
    911 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

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    @Nona99:  Haha!

    Post # 33
    Member
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

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    @Nona99:   I know, it’s eerie.  Think about it.  The husband is away . . . the sexy, mysterious stranger shows up in town . . . she invites him over . . . hmmmm.  LOL!!

    Post # 34
    Member
    911 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

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    @Sunfire:  I think I need to see this movie! LOL

    Post # 35
    Member
    3355 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    seeing as we were long distance for 2.5 years, him being away really doesn’t affect me much … except that I rather he not be gone so long 😛

    Post # 36
    Member
    476 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I voted for “Feel like something is missing/dont feel quite like myself”.  I moved into his (our) house in July.  The movers came with the “big” stuff on 8/11. He left for California on a business trip (he’s a wine buyer) for a week on 8/14. I was so LONELY!  And I am *not* a dependent person.  But I would get home from work, and feed/walk the dogs (there are three-one of whom had some sort of “ailment” while he was gone), and then…unpack a little. Piddle around a little.  I just missed having some conversation in the evening!  There was a two-hour difference in time, so when I was heading to bed, they would be finishing up dinner some nights. So, he’d call around the time that he knew I’d be heading to bed, and I’d hear about the vineyards they’d been to, and the guest house at the winery they were staying at, and the delicious meal they had, and I’m going, “Well, I went to work. And ate ravioli.  And cleaned up dog vomit…

    I guess it’s a good sign that I wasn’t dreading his return!

    Post # 37
    Member
    5950 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

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    @Sunfire:  I guess the fantasy is sooo appealing…he’s perfect in every way, rugged, romatic, articulate and intelligent but earthy and strong….AND he’s leaving in a week! I don’t know, I just can’t not watch it!

    Post # 38
    Member
    950 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I am struggling with this right now.  Hubby has a really great job, but that can involve travel.  he tries to minimize it, but most in his role travel Mon – Thur, every week.  His current client didn’t make him travel for a few months, now they want him to travel at least every other week for the next few months.

    I *hate hate hate hate* it.  I’m a social person and don’t like hanging out myself.  I have to take care of my (our) son alone when he’s gone, and when my son is with his dad, then I’m all alone half the time.  I do make some plans with friends, but most of my friends are busy with their families, etc.  I do stuff around the house but it’s boring alone.  I could do classes, but between my son and homework for my MBA classes it’s hard to commit.

    On the other hand, if he found local work or took a regular job, he’d be looking at least a $150k paycut, though would still be making a good income.  So…it’s hard.  While we could certainly survive and do on my salary and a lower one for him, it’s hard to take that kind of cut, esp when we want to do so many things to the house.

    ugh, I don’t know what to do sometimes, and my husband really wants a baby too. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    705 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 1993

    My husband is gone Monday-Friday 44 weeks out of the year, and I work Saturdays.  We practically never see each other.  He just had his first ‘home’ week in 17 weeks and it was so nice to have him home.

     

    That being said, I’m used to it by now.  Sometimes I feel like I can’t take it anymore and I’m alone in this marriage, but most of the time I just dig into my hobbies and enjoy my life.  Still… I can’t wait for him to take another job that keeps him home.

    Post # 41
    Member
    646 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    sometimes i feel i’m over attached emotionally – i mean, i can focus on work and meetings with my friends when he doesn’t have the time to join in, but my mind can’t go off him at any “free” moment. 

    we’re always together at our home though, and i’m glad he doesn’t go away. all those evenings and weekends together are great, even if we spend them on a couch.

    Post # 42
    Member
    80 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @Loupyloo:  I am the same way as you. I just hate it and turn into a big baby. Luckily, the longest we were apart in our two year relationahip was two trips of 10 days when he went away for work. They were incredibly long. However they we when we were only together for 5 and 8 months, so I think I would do a LOT better now going on two years.. but I still dread the thought of it. I was actually just offered my first teaching job a couple weeks ago and I turned it town because it was 6 hours away which made me absolutely sick to my stomach at the thought of hardly seeing him because it would be too far to drive (and closest airport is where I live now ha).  

    Post # 43
    Member
    1668 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We’re not moving in together until next year, so I am sure when he moves in I’ll relish the occasional night to eat popcorn on the couch and watch chick flicks while he is gone, but to be honest I don’t like it when he’s away.

    I function just fine, I do lots of fun things with my friends, but I sort of feel… off kilter or something. He’s gone right now for 3 weeks and I don’t feel too great to be honest. It isn’t like I’m crying or anything, I just sort of feel funny.

    It is weird to admit that because I consider myself very strong and independant and everyone always says how well I handle it when he goes because I’m not having all kinds of breakdowns everywhere, but I feel OFF!

    Post # 44
    Member
    7367 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I wish he would go away more. I’m always the one traveling and taking girl trips without him. He’s such a homebody. I miss him but it’s not losing a limb or something LOL. I thoroughly enjoy and NEED time to myself. 

    Post # 45
    Member
    1170 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

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    @Torrid:  +1 

    My Fiance is military and I was a soldier at one time too. I was raised military so I know what its like for a family. I think I sometimes just feel overwhelmed with the four kids. He has two and I have two. So I have the responsibility of raising them all while he is gone. I dont stress him about it though.

    He is a high ranking NCO and he is already gone two weeks every month and then add deployments and Im alone alot but Its my job to make sure all is well when he comes home.

    Post # 46
    Member
    1540 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I first realised I was in love with SO when he went on vacation. lol. Before him, I enjoyed my alone time more, and didn’t have an issue with long stints alone. Then, when we started dating, we spent practically everyday together, and I thought I would enjoy time by myself again when he left on vacation. Instead, I really felt weird without him. I realised life without him, I didn’t really feel like myself anymore.

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