Post # 1
My fiance and I are not religious, but also not anti-religion, and we are not having an easy time figuring out how to find an officiant.
I know a lot of people now have a friend do it, but that just doesn’t feel authoritative enough or maybe that it’s not rooted in a tradition. I would honestly love to have a judge do it, but I don’t know any judges, and judges … well, they already have other jobs.
We aren’t afraid of using someone with a faith background, by my Catholic husband-to-be is leery of a protestant-y officiant (and the Catholic church won’t marry us because our ceremony is outside).
I think that if we really personally liked someone, and we thought the person was sort of authoritative in his or her own right, the other problems would probably melt away.
Anyone have ideas? How are non-church goers finding officiants these days?
Post # 3
Well, your local mayor can offciate your wedding and if you call his/her office you can "book him or her" so to speak. They generally don’t charge anything, except a donation to a local charity. We were married by the mayor of our town, and it was sort of cool in a way I guess
If you’d like a religious offciant, you can google "wedding officiant’s" and your zipcode. A couple will pop up, there are a lot of religious ones that are willing to do ceremonies not in a church and to your tastes. You can also look on the knot’s website, in your area- there is a link for officiant’s. All of them have phone numbers, and many have websites (sometimes they specialize in performing more than one religion).
Post # 4
We aren’t that relegious either, and I actually found a nice & very affordable officiant under the "events" section on craigslist. Usually when you do a google search the names that pop up are more expensive (since they pay to be the first on the search 🙂 and since we just needed a simple officiant, the least expensive the better!
Post # 5
Our officiant was a retired pastor (Protestant, actually). Darling Husband is Lutheran, and I was raised Catholic, but I’m not sure what you mean by "protestant-y". We found him through a co-worker who is active in interfaith programs, in particular programs in prisons and with homeless people. We really liked both the pastor and his wife, and found him very willing to work with us on crafting a ceremony that reflected our personal beliefs and preferences, and that was religeous enough to make our parents happy but where the discussions centered more on "faith" than on "God,", which was what we wanted.
Our experience was actually that as soon as we started talking to our friends about our difficulty finding an officiant, everybody had a suggestion (including, by the way, our photographer, our florist, and the woman who made our cake). We made a list, and just started calling/emailing and interviewing people. I would just talk to some of your friends and your vendors and see who they have to recommend.
Post # 6
We had an interfaith ceremony, with no real affiliations with any institutions. Sooo, we looked online! It was hard to find someone who wasn’t really out there (think goddess worship), but we finally found a few great options. One rabbi, one pastor, both very open to creating an interfaith ceremony that worked for us. The rabbi we ended up with will do anything people want – he even did one ceremony in Klingon!!
Post # 7
My fiance and I are both catholic but not very good ones. We are going to have a small church ceremony so that our marriage will be recognized by the church but the "Big Day" ceremony will be performed by an officiant that we found after lots and lots of research. It was important that we find someone who will incorporate the things we find important, our story, our family, our beliefs. I researched weddings that took place in the same area as ours, on local boards here and on other wedding websites, then when I narrowed it down to a few names that I saw, I googled each one to see what I came up with. I found someone who seems perfect for us! She isn’t cheap at $500, but by all accounts, SO worth it.
Post # 8
We are not very religious, but it was very important to my Future Mother-In-Law that we get married in a church. (We didn’t really care either way.) We found a church that was very open to non-member weddings, and it just so happened that our fee to use the church building also included an officiant! (He is a retired minister who does only weddings these days.) Anyway, it seemed kind of strange at the time to use a minister that came w/ the church, but since he does mostly non-member weddings at the church, he’s been very flexible and open to our ideas.
So….that’s how we found our officiant. My sister found hers by searching online and asking some of her wedding vendors. They were having an American/Persian wedding ceremony that was very personalized. Their officiant she found did a great job!
Post # 9
Thanks for all of your thoughts! I think we just landed the county judge, and we are sooo excited to have this taken care of!
Post # 10
We just called the courthouse and asked for a list of names of officiants. I would definitely make sure the officiant knows exactly what you what him to do, say and wear. Ours was horrible! He showed up late, five minutes before the wedding was supposed to start and did not wear what we had discussed. He totally clashed with everything and looked like a used car salesman. And he did horribly on the actual ceremony even though I gave him the ceremony word for word 6 months before the wedding. It was the worst $75 I’ve ever spent, lol. It’s a good laugh now but I was uspet about it then. Just make sure you do your research before you choose.
Post # 11
We have a friend who got ordained and is going to perform the ceremony. Neither one of us is religious and we both want to have someone that is close to us.
Post # 12
We are going to get my aunt to be the officant. Just go online and become ordained- its free, and legal in most places. Like florida, the ceremony has to be performed by a notary, current judge, or someone ordained who followed the normal course of being ordained, whatever that path may be. well, this particular church ordains people online= therefore legal.
It’s free and its extra special.