(Closed) How do you fix a family problem?

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1017 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Personally I would stick to my guns, but that’s me. I am sure you will get advice to invite them to keep peace in the family. It’s YOUR wedding and you can invite or not invite anyone you want!

Post # 4
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have family drama as well.  It was tough but I chose to invite my family. I could careless if they attended or not but it was something that I knew I would regret not extending the invite to them.  This is entirely up to you, though. 

Post # 6
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014


I understand what you are saying.  It all depends on what you want.  I am all for the discipline so if it is that you do want to keep the peace and have all your family attend then maybe have a mini family meeting with you and your Fiance and your neice and nephew and their parents explaining that their behavior was inappropriate, you have forgiven them and that you would like it clear that their behavior is unacceptable in future and at that point offer them the wedding invitation or invitation to bridal party or whatever you decide hug it out and hopefully move on from this.

That is my suggestion so that at least you have the opportunity to extend the olive branch and make peace, and if the family meeting doesnt go as peaceful as planned and there is a bad outcome, then you at least know that you have done your part and can in good conscience choose to exclude them from the ceremony without the guilt of what if…

Good luck, hope it works out.

Post # 7
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I don’t know if this helps or not, but one of the things I finally figured out through therapy was that just because someone is family, they don’t get a pass to treat you like crap.  I’ve heard people say, “But their FAMILY.”  I’m sorry, but no one has the right to treat me like crap just because we happen to share DNA.  Certain members of your family treated you extremely poorly.  We wouldn’t accept treatment like this from a stranger on the street, so why would you accept it from a family member.

I’m all for extending the olive branch, but more in a “these are my boundries if you want to be in my life” kind of way.  I agree that you cannot let this neice and nephew feel like their behavior was appropriate.  There are so many people now-a-days who feel like they can act however they want without consequence (and I see this from younger people a lot – I work everyday with late teens/people in their early 20s).  They may never realize how inappropriate their behavior was for whatever reason, but that doesn’t mean you have to subject yourself to it.

For example, I love my sister, but she is quite a toxic person.  I haven’t completely cut her out of my life, but I’ve put a lot of distance between us and I’m happier than I was when I let her emotionally and verbally chastise me. Do what you need to do.

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