(Closed) How do you get hurtful words out of your heart?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
800 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

Sorry for the hurtfull things that he has said to you. I don’t know if I could be with someone who is unsure of our relationship and being with me. I don’t see how he could compare you to his ex-wife and think that it would be okay and that you can just get over the hurtful things that he has said to you. I think you need to figure out if this is someone that you want to be with for the rest of your life. If it is then you guys need to sit down and have a serious discussion. I don’t know if seeking counseling to get your relationship back on track is the way to go our not. I just don’t see myself staying with someone who puts me down in this manner engaged or not. If someone is that unsure maybe you shouldn’t be with him. When someone shows you who they are believe them. When a man tells you how he feels about you believe it. Don’t let him have to tell you the same things over and over again before you get it. I do not believe that this is the right relationshp for you but I’m on the oustide looking in and going off of what you have just stated. I’ve been in situations where the guy has said in so many words that he didn’t want to be with me like that but I didn’t listen. I finally had to wake up and smell the coffee and realize that he just wasn’t right for me regardless of how I felt about him. Do some deep searching to see if this is something that you really want.

Post # 3
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Why would you want to marry him in the first place if he said those things to you, bee? Heat of the moment or not, that’s beyond crossing the line. If you marry him, you’re committing to a lifetime of self-doubt.

Post # 4
Member
6943 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

You don’t. You tell him what he said is unacceptable. I couldn’t imagine someone who supposedly loved me talking to me like that. 

Post # 5
Hostess
4346 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

You don’t get those things out of your heart. I still feel the sting of awful words said to me by an ex many years ago and when I’m really low have to convince myself that he was wrong and he was a horrible person. 

But I sure as hell got that man out of my life. And you should to. Why would you ever be with someone who said awful things to you? 

Post # 6
Member
4846 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Distance yourself from the mouth that speaks them. 

Seriously fuck that guy. Why would you marry someone who speaks to you like that?

Post # 7
Member
7957 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Don’t marry this man.

Post # 8
Member
10368 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Don’t marry him! He can’t just say hurtful things then say sorry and expect you to be fine. Sorry doesn’t fix things or make the hurt go away.

You deserve better. Don’t settle with this asshole.

Post # 9
Member
248 posts
Helper bee

Bee, please read up on emotional/verbal abuse. This will only escalate once you get married. Everybody deserves to be treated with love and respect – he should be your best friend, your rock, someone who comforts and supports you. You deserve so much more.

Sending some internet hugs your way xx

Post # 10
Member
6414 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
annamarie92 :  I would never stay with someone who couldn’t have a future with me and said such hateful things.  You will find someone better who deserves your love.

Post # 11
Member
7594 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Is this the same asshole you wrote about five months ago, who wakes you up every night by making porno sounds and sticks his hands down your pants without your consent? http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/my-boyfriend-wakes-me-up-every-night-and-i-cannot-get-him-to-stop/

Please, please run far away from this fucked up abusive loser. I also think it’s a red flag that at age 24, he’s already got three engagements and one failed marriage under his belt….although that pales in comparison to his emotional and physical abuse of you.

Post # 12
Member
468 posts
Helper bee

Oh my god, PLEASE do not marry this man, bee. This plus your previous post set off so many red flags. Do not let someone make you feel worthless, compare you to someone else, tell you you’re horrible, say he’s unsure, touch you without your consent while you’re sleeping, and then get mad at YOU for being upset! This is abuse, and it will only get worse after you get married.

You are very young, you will find someone better who treats you with respect and love.

Post # 13
Member
2842 posts
Sugar bee

My father was just like that. Do yourself a favor and leave him otherwise you wil be in for a lifetime of insults and put downs. He willNOT get any better.

Some of what he has said to me still stings even tho he’s been dead 20 years.  Words hurt.

Post # 14
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

 There are just some things you can’t (and SHouldn’t) get over. 

Based on your other post, this guy doesn’t respect you. He needs someone to babysit his kid on the weekends and hole to f-ck. You are the most convenient babysitter hole he could find. 

Time to walk away. You deserve better than this!

Post # 15
Member
791 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Listen to the other Bee’s – this is a huge mistake!  My ex had a sharp tongue and it got so much worse after we were married.  It is much better to leave now instead of having to go through a divorce!!  

You can try to go to counseling if you want – but if you do – you must be very honest and tell the counselor everything while your Fiance is there with you.  Likely he will walk out.. especially when the counselor sides with you.

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